One that always annoyed me is when it is around the holidays, when stores advertise gifts for men. They always assume a guy is into toilet humor, beer humor, assuming they’re a lumberjack who needs to survive out in the wilderness, are into bbq-ing all of the time so gotta have those available all year around for some reason.
Even when I used to have identified myself as a guy, I never once fit into any of those traits. Just because guys grow beards, doesn’t always mean they’re chopping wood somewhere and always wearing plaid.
They are selling them because people buy them. E.g. I’m a guy, and I’m into toilet and beer humor. Trans/non binary/etc guys are a minority, and im pretty sure you can find your stuff somewhere, it’s not banned, but capitalism says they have to advertise to the majority to make the most profits.
I don’t care about football, but I know a lot of people do, so I don’t get annoyed by other people having different taste and interest than me.
I would extend that to pretty much all gendered advertisement. Especially for kids, the way toys are advertised in such a gendered way does quite a bit of harm to those who don’t neatly fit into the stereotypes.
Do you all remember the public freak out when Target said they were de-gendering their toy isles
Can we all appreciate for a moment that while gendered toy aisles we’re dominating the scene, Nintendo opted to target boys.
Also I’m very, very curious what the gaming scene would look like through the ages if they’d started with girls. Are fighting/racing games actually more fun or have they just become imprinted onto our psyche?
Oh for a quick shot of Rick’s portal gun to find out.
The toys situation annoys me so much more now that I am a parent. Also it does not matter how hard you try to avoid certain things, we keep getting gifted clothes that would turn our daughter into a free walking advert for Disney princesses and our son into a truck and heavy machinery enthusiast.
Which, there wouldn’t necessarily be anything wrong with if they were into that to begin with, but that’s really not the case. The push is unreal.
Most, if not all of them, should just die to be honest. But the one that is targeted at me and annoys me most at the moment is the following.
Where I currently live, there seems to be an assumption that if you are a man, you’re going to be a deadbeat parent.
The bar is in absolute hell to be considered a “good dad”. Change nappies? You’re so “hands on”. Spend time with your kids minding your own business? Mums out of the blue coming to tell you “you’re doing great”, with optional condescension. Thanks, I didn’t ask. Or conversely if my child is crying, get offered help insistently, because yeah, you must know better than my sorry man ass, even though you only met my child 5 seconds ago.
When my partner is present, any questions from doctors or childminders about our children are by default asked to her, and if I don’t (repeatedly) chip in, I don’t even get a look.
No, I’m not “babysitting” to give my wife a rest, I’m enjoying spending time with my children. No, I don’t feel emasculated having my baby in a carrier/sling or pushing a buggy. Also no, I don’t need to be advertised “manly” looking dad gear (you know the one, looks like you’re cosplaying a spec ops soldier).
This seems to be getting better as my children are getting older but during the baby phase it was absolutely mind blowing how I felt I either had to assert my presence quite a bit, or paradoxically get infinite praise for doing the bare minimum.
Tbf, this is not super local specific necessarily. I definitely pass judgement in fellow coworker dads who show up to work a week after they have their new born. When I chat with them about how nights are going and they say “oh fine, I just sleep in the basement so the baby doesn’t wake me” I want to throttle their weak asses.
Much of it is definitely cultural. Its made worse that we work at a company that offers dads two months full pay and live in a country with employment insurance benefits for parents that can be split over 18 months.
Yeah, by “where I live” I meant the country I am currently in. I am not saying there is no sexism where I am from, far from it, but from what little I can tell, the specifics that I am describing seem to be more prevalent in English speaking countries. Sexism expresses in different ways, that’s definitely a culture thing.
And yes, here in the UK, fathers are only entitled to two weeks paternity leave which only makes things worse. I was very lucky to be working for a company which had a great parental leave policy when both my children were born (3 months full pay) so I could do my part and bond with my children at a very early age. I remember after two weeks thinking “how do fathers even go back to work at that stage?”. And that’s not even taking into account a difficult birth, like needing a c-section, and the mum needing at least 6 weeks to start being able to safely do anything remotely straining again.
It’s just insane.
the bar really is that low, tbf. congratulations you are in the top 0.1% of parents/
dadslot of people out there that really shouldn’t be having kids because they’re barely aware of themselves let alone other people
edit/crossing out dads
congratulations you are in the top 0.1% of parents/dads
This right here is what this whole question is directed at.
No, doing the basics does not put them in the “top 0.1% of dads,” like it’s some sort of anomaly (they might be, but it’s not because they changed diapers). Almost every dad I know is heavily involved in their kids lives, including when they are babies. I’m never the only dad at the park or the birthday party, and everything else. I have had many discussions with other guys about taking care of our babies, and it is very clear that it is a shared responsibility.
Do more men bail on their kids or dump responsibility on their spouse than women? Sure. Is that currently the common thing, or what 99.9% of men do? Absolutely not.
Stop perpetuating this stereotype, especially in a post about negative stereotypes.
fair enough, really meant that as comment towards parents as a whole. ime kids are basically accessories to many people, like the dog they don’t bother training or the spouse they never communicate with.
The market has determined the gender stereotypes that are most profitable and insecure people increasingly take on those qualities as parts of their personality.
All other interests are niche and require someone to establish a special interest club to attract like-minded folks.
Every one of them
I recently became aware of the “performative male” stereotype. Basically, if you’re a guy who doesn’t dress the way most men dress and you like to read books in public, you’re just “performing” in order to attract women.
I think it’s the whole anti-intellectualism aspect of the stereotype that irks me the most (it being shameful somehow for a guy to read).
In some cases Tik-Tokers are filming guys just sitting alone at like a Starbucks reading a book, bothering nobody, and acting like they caught a predator.
It reminds me of that old Bill Hicks anecdote where he’s at a diner in the deep south reading a book, and some dude exclaims “looks we got a reader!” as if it were something peculiar.
Here’s a good critique of it if you’re OOTL https://youtube.com/watch?v=b3jIgdbVjr4
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I just recently discovered that channel and really like it. People on lemmy have great taste lmao.
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Woman does normal thing dressed as woman.
“OMFG do we really to sexualize normal thing?!?”
To be fair, she did explicitly refer to the bimbo aesthetic. That’s not just dressing “like a woman”, it’s a pretty objectively sexualized aesthetic. Not that what you’re saying doesn’t also happen.
I mean, to be fair, a lot of women’s clothing is geared to be sexually attractive. Just because it’s been normalized doesn’t make it untrue. Something can be normal and sexualized.
Or do you think there’s a practical, unsexy benefit of women’s pants having tinyass pockets and being skin tight?
Not that I agree with their complaints. I’m totally fine with people dressing how they want, unless it’s dragging their bare unwiped ass all over the furniture.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing clothes that fit well and makes you look good, but it will be judged.
On the internet in general and specifically on YouTube, it’s difficult for handsome people to do anything at all without being accused of doing normal stuff while being attractive just to increase monetization.
It’s a weird kind of gate keeping, but I do understand it. There are definitely channels that only exist for that reason, and it might be annoying to see your favorite topic being used by someone who ought to be on OnlyFans instead. However, it doesn’t actually take anything away from anyone, so it’s really just a ‘crabs in a bucket’ mentality, where nobody are allowed to stand out.
Yea, agreed. Anyone complaining about something being too attractive is really just advertizing their own insecurity and/or lack of self control.
Who the fuck wants an ugly environment?!
Even when I used to have identified myself as a guy, I never once fit into any of those traits.
Well, you weren’t actually a guy! But you’re still right, it’s the usual societal gender role nonsense.
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All of them? 🫣
Anything machismo. Guys shouldn’t take pride in being big dumb oafs that can swig gasoline if they wanted to.
I even think our current view on machismo is too product-driven, rather than traditional male values.
Don’t learn to build a cabin, because that’s old fashioned. But do DRINK BEER, and drive a big truck, and mock clean energy initiatives because real men love the ROAR of an expensive motor paid for by oil companies!
Old values would’ve been about treating a lady right, or standing up for what you believe in - even if it was as simple as punching someone who mocked your wife.
I agree about male values, but has ‘machismo’ ever meant those things?
Males with exaggerated pride are rarely a positive, after all…
It can be bad to demonize all forms of pride coming from one gender. I get what you mean, but we also want to encourage things people should be prideful for. The classic image of being a gentleman, which we can continue to redefine based on what society most needs. Sometimes even just people using their physical, gender-granted strength for societally positive ways can be good.
We just happen to be in a rut of people lost in a vein of toxic masculinity because they don’t see/know of any good ways to flex on the world, and feel some agency within it.
I get what you mean, which is why I said, “exaggerated” pride.
It’s fine to be a touch prideful in good things. People need self-motivation after all. Though the people that take pride in BS, and especially vile BS like Trumpism, racism, etc, etc, are just gross, stupid people.
an swig gasoline if they wanted to.
By all means let’em win Darwin Awards.
I misread the topic and thought this was about the “sexiest stereotypes” like a woman smart woman talking about a topic she’s passionate about or a man that frees trapped wildlife.
I have friends (men) working in a heavily women work. Every times there’s a minor scratch or handwork to do they’re called. It’s annoying, everyone know how to operate a screwdriver
Husband Dumb; wife like shopping and naggs Boys being violent being considered “okay” Boys in theater are into guys. I mean i may be that but not everyone!
Calling it a ‘Lazy Susan’
