It’s not that I don’t have anyone to talk to, it’s that I don’t have anything to talk about with others, and sometimes it happens that it’s impossible to endure that loneliness and I want to socialize so badly, and I don’t want to drink alcohol or watch shows on Netflix to drown out that feeling, because lately it hasn’t helped. I wonder how you deal with it?
Well how do you like to spend your time? Finding people to share your hobbies with is a great way to build community
Today and in the future, it seems that this will have to be done offline, because the Internet has become like a titanic that sinks to the bottom after hitting an iceberg named AI.
But I understand what you mean.
Who names an iceberg? Even the one the real Titanic hit hasn’t been given a name.
Damn, why wasn’t it given a name?
I name it Frembley.
Have you looked for book clubs, gyms, courses in your region?
Talk to the people you know about what they want to talk about
Did you read his post? He doesn’t want to talk to people. There is nothing anyone can advise him to do.
I thought that this person just doesn’t know how to socialize, not knowing how to break the ice.
I might have missed something, but when they say they want to socialize I take that to mean talk to people. They have friends but don’t know what to talk about. My suggestion was talk to the people they know about those people’s interests. Know your friend likes boats? Cool. Ask them questions about boats. Now you are having a conversation where the other person is doing most of the work.
Loneliness is the feeling that helps you to act, to connect with people. When you are connected with people, when you feel you belong, then you don’t feel lonely. So do you feel connected with people around you, or do you just feel like you “fit in”…?
If you don’t feel connected, spend some time finding someone you connect with…
I’ve been there. For me, personally, the problem was that I was so afraid to open up and worshipped so much other people that I pretty much lost myself. I ended up being surrounded by people who aren’t interested in me, who don’t fit me. And then when I started discovering myself, opening up more and being more sincere, I just attracted the right people who I always know what to talk about and who are interested in me. But this is of course my personal experience, your situation might be entirety different.
No ideal answer. Try to find a certain meaning in your daily life, activities can help or rather shifting from passivity to activity will alleviate that feeling, board games, pick up an instrument, martial arts school and so on.
I’ve accepted that this is how things are. Most interactions I have aren’t about connecting, and even within my circle, there are times when it’s possible to be completely misunderstood by people filtering out what their preferred narrative is about.
Studying
do stuff. together
Have you considered following a sport? Following local sports teams has always been an effective way to strike up a conversation for me. For one, it’s easy to identify who to talk to, since they wear apparel that identifies them as a fan of a team they follow, and also it’s really easy to know what they’re likely interested in talking about, since there are lots of resources (podcasts, broadcasts, blogs, etc) that direct the conversation. It’s super easy — I sat down on the bus yesterday across the aisle from someone in a Sounder’s hat and we talked the new Rothrock and Frei deals. I’ve never seen that dude before in my life and probably never will again, but finding common ground and something inoffensive to chat about was super easy because we follow the same team.
I post on Lemmy lol.
If you’re a bit of a nerd I suggest looking up local tabletop RPG groups and giving it a shot. It’s one of the easier ways to be social as an introvert. It has a sort of regimented system of socializing that everyone understands, with an end time and an obvious goal. Once I’m in a better spot myself (life has been rough the past bit but it’s looking up) I might do this myself.
But for now drinking and watching shows and shitposting on Lemmy still works for me lol. Used to post on Reddit, 100k+ karma there, Not banned, but I am sick of reddit’s BS, so now I’m here instead, sorry y’all.
PS: I’m staying at a monthly rate in a hostel, and I go to a couple local food banks. There’s a “free food” area in the communal kitchen that I stock up once or twice a week because where I live the food banks are extraordinarily generous.
People have started to notice and been thanking me, and as a result they’ve been striking up conversations and getting to know me. (I am very much an introvert.) So I’ve been socializing a lot more than I normally do as a result.
Too esoteric to recommend, but figured I’d add this random ass story as socializing can happen in the strangest of ways at times.
I pay rent to my landlord and go work for my boss. Far to much human interaction on my plate for this guy.
Why don’t you have a cat or dog ?
Why don’t you have a cat or dog ?
I will forget to feed them and they will starve to death. I am a very bad owner.
Well instead you can volunteer at shelters. It’s like being an auntie/uncle.
You get the fun times with none of the responsibilities.
People who can’t have pets but who like animals often volunteer.
Good way to meet people too.
Video game is one way to go. Another is motorcycle riding.
I haven’t been on for a few years but when I was in a similar situation VRChat was amazing. I was able to connect with people I clicked with and before I knew it was had a pretty cool friend group.
I don’t have anything to talk about with others
Find an activity to do together? A game to play perhaps?
