Hey, bigender gay/omni person here, I remember being a girl and talking to this one girl. I had a crush on her but she ended the friendship saying she didn’t like me and we wouldn’t get along, and maybe that was for the best…
Anyway, one thing she said stuck with me. Well I get being lesbian and only liking cis women, not trans women, but the way she said it kinda irked me… am I overreacting?
“I want to date a GIRL. A REAL girl not a boy who wants to be a girl and turned into one!”
Yeah that is just plain old transphobic. A trans woman is not a “boy who wants to be a girl” it is a girl who wants to be accepted as a girl by herself and others.
You don’t control what body or brain you were born with. For most people the brain’s gender matches the body’s sex, but for some it does not.
You are you, if you know that you are a girl or a boy or neither or both, then no one can say otherwise. Others can either respect you or not, but it means absolutely nothing about you.
Even taken charitably I feel like this person fundamentally does not understand what a trans woman is…
Like… (And you can figure this out by talking to trans gals) they’re women.
Lesbians are more accepting of trans women than most people but obviously you get a few terfs.
I agree
As a trans woman who really wants to date cis and trans women, my biggest fear is having to experience this first hand. I’m so scared cis lesbians won’t want to date me just because I have a penis…
Hi there, I’m a cis lesbian who has previously dated what was at the time called pre-op trans women (I’m guessing there’s now a better way to say this now, but I’m a little ignorant and ancient by internet standards) … anyway, out of a very long list of things that made me not want to date a woman, having a dick was low down, and those two women still carry a bit of my heart with them.
There are many absolutely horrible lesbians out there, who judge others on stupid things, if you’re up front about who you are it’ll act as a filter to weed them out early on … unfortunately that’s hard to see through, but it’s better than the alternative (like a girl I once dated who turned out to be horribly racist, I didn’t find out for a whole month).
Just transphobia. This person sucks. Trans women are women. Period.
For real…
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Everyone is entitled to their own tastes and it’s fine to be more attracted to cisgender people, but the way that is phrased she has much bigger issues with trans people than just wanting to date one or not.
Oh, everyone’s entitled to their own tastes. So if I say I only date subby Asians you wouldn’t be creeped out?
Yeah people like different things, that doesn’t mean desire is never driven by fucked up shit.
There’s a difference between being attracted to certain types of people and fetishizing them. You can’t force someone to be attracted to everyone, and if they aren’t attracted to women that found out later in life that doesn’t make them a bigot (although the person mentioned here definitely is for their other comments).
If you’re attracted to someone, then find out they’re trans, and as a result of that cease to be attracted to them: you are a transphobe.
I have heard all the arguments about this, and I’m not interested in hearing that bigot shit again.
No, this is TERF behavior and not representative of the lesbian community by the way like the other comment said. I’m glad you’re no longer her friend, leave her in the dust LOL. Not overreacting BTW
I mean, that’s pretty fucking transphobic. The fuck is a real girl? I’m not a boy who wants to be a girl. I’m a girl. A trans one, but still a girl.
Exactly. You’re as much of a girl as I am a boy, which means you are very much a girl.
A “real girl” is a brand of silicone sex doll. I won’t link it here.
They kind of specify that they’re transphobic here. I can’t even make my usual ‘yeah I’ve dated fake women before but the sex is always disappointing and they never say anything original’ joke. It’s completely unambiguous.
they are transphobic plain and simple. some people have a preference for genitals, but this was not about that for them, it was about the “validity” of your transness and that is bullshit
I agree, still stands but I should specify I’m a trans man now and I was a cis woman not a trans woman
