I don’t really worry about abandonment at all. If anything, I’d be more worried about the opposite. People like me, and want to hang out with me, and I do not have the time, energy, or desire to hang out with most people. I’ve had more than my fair share of clingy, dependent “friends”, and I’m not a fan. Hyper-independent aloofness has definitely spared me many additions to that unfortunate list.
I don’t disagree that it’s a trauma response, but not always to abandonment (I wish), but often necessity. When you have to do everything, you learn how to do everything, and eventually there’s not much left to rely on other people for.
I don’t really worry about abandonment at all. If anything, I’d be more worried about the opposite. People like me, and want to hang out with me, and I do not have the time, energy, or desire to hang out with most people. I’ve had more than my fair share of clingy, dependent “friends”, and I’m not a fan. Hyper-independent aloofness has definitely spared me many additions to that unfortunate list.
I don’t disagree that it’s a trauma response, but not always to abandonment (I wish), but often necessity. When you have to do everything, you learn how to do everything, and eventually there’s not much left to rely on other people for.
Have you tried telling people you don’t want to hang out with them? This seems like a weird problem to have.
Yes.