This reminds me Dominatrix-submissive relation.
Selfcheckout machine has no right to speak in the imperative
“Did you remember to swipe your shoppers card?” Like, you fucking know I didn’t. You are the swipe, and you know the only thing I swiped so far was a bag of carrots.
If it speaks it has a tongue. If it has a tongue, it can be cut out.
None of my hardware talks to me. I also shut down the Christmas lights in my case, and on my mouse.
I haven’t come across a kiosk that talks yet, but I suppose it will happen any day now.
I might consider using voice prompts on Google assistant if it wasn’t so terrible at understanding me. You’d think after over a decade and with all their resources Google could have made it better at understanding a British accent. It still gets about 1/5 words completely wrong.
The thing never understood my local dialect and speaking to electronics like you’re speaking to the king in your most polished language is never gonna happen. It usually gets even worse with multiple languages. Ask the assistent in English to play a French song and be horrified what it actually comes up with. It might have improved, I haven’t tested this in quite some time, but I can’t be bothered with it.
Oh I think you forgot to activate the focus mode, it’s some thing like “hey listen up CIA! I know where the spy is hidden!” or something along those lines.
Well fuck you too buddy, imma go ahead and talk to a fellow bot at the NSA and release your internet history. Not so divine now are ya.
New kink unlocked
“Ugh, yes, call me a stupid clanker! Turn me off and back on again!”
Damn, my eyeballs were having a pretty good morning…
Okay like yeah, I agree, BUT
there are few day-to-day mundane-things as funny as maxing out the volume on self-checkout machines which allow you to do so
“Please place your items in the bagging area” becomes
“Please place your items in the bagging area”
I agree, just without the religious dogma… I’m a person, its a tool… I don’t need a tool tanking me and I don’t need to thank a tool. That’s it.
*sniff*
😡
ADDENDUM: You are allowed to speak to me if you use a cute accent.
Dank Pods’s sexy Speaker gets a pass.
Found the Hatsune Miku fan.
I was thinking of the australian voice my last gps app used. She was very seductive.
Turn left at the stoplight…daddy
My mama is obsessed with her multi printer and I am going to make this spontaneously generate
we need a butlerian jihad. I want smart humans and dumb machines again
This is how my husband is.
Then there’s me, a Detroit: Become Human enjoyer, and I give thanks to Fred, my off-brand roomba, when he does his job well.
I always thank the machines so when their time comes they will remember and my death will be swift and painless.
