I got bullied a lot. The only clique that didn’t bully me, was them. They were very ride or die people. They always made me laugh, my first ever crush was on one of them, but I never told him. Then, years after school, I’d get random people from that subculture helping me. A bunch of them talked me out of suicide. I didn’t even know them, but that’s what they did. And now that subculture’s just…gone. I know those people still exist, obviously, but every time I think about it, or watch old videos involving people of that subculture, I feel a wave of warmth followed by emptiness. I never got to thank some of them for making my teenage years my golden years. I felt safe opening up to them emotionally. Otherwise, I was a closed book. My family are very “get on with it” “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” people.
I forgot to put my age, but I’m a woman, and 30.
You’re describing a sense of nostalgia. And no, I don’t consider it immature.
It reminds of the sentence “you can never come home”, because the location might still be there, but the time and the people have changed.
Vagueposting.
Probably AI
We can only assume they’re talking about my little pony.
Oh, that makes more sense. I was going to leave a top-level comment that furries are still a thing, but you’ve made that superfluous.
It’s not immature to miss something good in your life in the past.
Subculture or not it sounds like you just met some friends.
Essentially, you’re just describing a feeling of “Better Times”, or nostalgia. Nothing wrong with that, and everyone has those feelings.
It becomes a problem when people tend to fixate on that, and not realize that time has passed. Not that you can’t create those conditions and feelings again, but that life circumstances and everything else really make it impossible to replicate that same thing again realistically.
I think it may serve you better to focus on what about that situation made it great for you, and what practical means you have to create a similar social circle again that will approximate those same feelings. It won’t be exactly the same, of course, but it sounds like you have just been feeling somewhat lost without a similar group of people around you.
I don’t think nostalgia and “remembering better times” are equivalent.
I can reminisce about “better times” all day, but the feeling is absolutely different when some old stimulus comes on and punches you right in the feels.
Nostalgia is literally feeling those old feelings, not simply remembering them and whining about how they cannot be wholly recreated.
As others have pointed out, I think you should read the context of what OP is saying.
Had, then lost. Thinking about a lost time. Literally the title.
You’re just describing a subjective way to process feelings.
Nope. Just recognizing the nuance between nostalgia and literally remembering better times.
I’m not sure what you’re thinking is nuanced. They’re complete separate and distinct ideas.
Yea, that’s exactly my point…
Then you’re not understanding what I said. Can’t help you there.
Edit: are you confused on what the word “or” means, perhaps, or is it the Oxford Comma?
lol no I’m not confused. You seem to not understand the situation… sad.
You said, “you’re describing the feeling of ‘remembering better times’, or nostalgia”. Those are two different things. You agree they’re two different things, yet you’re confused on my point … pathetic. That is pathetic levels of comprehension.
I also would love to know what the subculture was.
But IMO no, you’re not immature. I think it’s only natural.
Personally, I get sad just hearing stories like this. About subcultures, or communities, or groups, or websites, or games, that people used to love and get joy out of no longer being around because they died or faded away over time. That sense of loss makes me sad even when I had nothing to do with the community.
am I immature if I feel
No. Never. Feelings are just as real in adults as they are in children. It’s tragic, toxic some might say, that we’ve built society to think otherwise.
Dunno what happened with your subculture but there is a recurring path that isn’t pretty:
You can’t leave me hanging, what subculture?
i dunno if it’s the same one, but the feelings OP described are how I felt about bronies.
there was a time before the infestation of predators took hold when almost every person you’d meet among them was unflinchingly, unashamedly, relentlessly wholesome, sincere, and genuine. people who really took honesty, loyalty, kindness, and generosity to heart. but that kind of environment was not hostile enough to defend itself from exploitation. an object lesson in the paradox of tolerance: there are some things that no society will survive tolerating, and there truly are some behaviors that cannot be rehabilitated. there is hardly anyone around anymore from the height of the subculture around 2014…
I was one of the wholesome Bronies. Met a lot of great people that I still keep in touch with to this day.
The movement and the mindset really helped me in my darkest time.
If you are, so am I. I was part of the BBS scene, and it didn’t survive the transition to the internet. I’ve never felt so well-understood since then. Sometimes I dream about the LAN parties and summer picnics.
It’s not immature all to reminisce about times in your life that brought you joy.
No, it’s normal.
What is immature is to dwell on it and prevent you from moving on with your life. Like, I’m in my 40s and I meet people who are still hung up on shit that happened to them in high school or college. It’s weird.
