What makes it worse is the language barrier… cuz I’ve been using English since 8 and its my primary lanfuage, and my mom sounds awkward af in English and she won’t understand complex topics…
And like if I start talking philosophy, then it sounds so doomer and like mom be like: (translated) “Why are you overthinking everything?”
But okay wtf do I talk about? Do I start going on a rant about politics and them mom be like: “You can’t change politics, just accept it”
Like WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I talk to dad about like hypothetical interstellar travel and time dialation and dad was like: “Cool story bro” (like the Cantonese equivalent of it)
Like what the hell, are they just so boring? And they are saying I’m gonna become “autistic” because I never talk to them…
There’s nothing to talk about that ends the conversation happily.
Literally more boring responses than a fucking LLM lmfao
There’s an art to small talk. A language barrier makes it a challenge.
And that’s what it seems your mom is looking for as the foundation of conversation on your end. But, I suspect she’s more wanting you to listen than necessarily talk. If you start by asking about her, I suspect that it’ll go smoother because you’ll input what topics she’s thinking of the most and be able to adapt better.
And yes, that does seem a bit narcissistic. But sometimes parents just want us to show we care, in ways that they can grasp easily. I can’t call it narcissism in terms of it being bad though. It’s just part of the human condition. Parents often want updates on their grown kids, but they’ve also spent decades worrying about and focused on the kids, so there’s an assumption that the degree of interest will point back at some point.
And, up to a point, it should. As we age up, there should come a point when we start looking at our parents as full people, taking an interest in them as more than our support network.
So keep it simple. Ask more questions about what she’s doing. See if that helps. If it doesn’t, then there’s other stuff you can try