Is it as many people describe? Do you have an easy or difficult time with it?
“Dating” is bullshit. Just go about your social life and you’ll meet someone.
And that’s how I found her.
Having a social life is the key. It’s more likely to meet someone you get along with if you keep hanging out with a larger group of people you get along with. Rather than relying on an almost random app algorithm.
Most definitely. A few factors at work here: being in a group makes it a lower-pressure situation. Also, being with a group demonstrates some degree of social proof.
Dating via apps is bullshit, yes, because its people flinging themselves at a each other randomly like angry birds and hoping for a good outcome. Dating strangers in the traditional senss seems okay… but you’re right, meeting someone casually and then asking them out is the very best
Upvoted because : angry birds reference
Very good advice. My main addition to this advice is to accept that you may never find someone and to find a way to still enjoy life. Bizarrely it will help you find someone.
Being 6’2 at 12 then 6’4 by the end of growing did wonders for me. I’m also pretty charismatic and generally kind to everyone. The height thing as well as a mostly positive upbringing gave me a lot of confidence, which I think is the main indicator of success or failure in dating. So, I’ve never had trouble but I have always struggled with the idea that if I didn’t have a girlfriend I was a loser. That mentality led me to stay in a few pretty toxic relationships for way too long.
Somehow height didn’t work for me. It might be attractiveness; part of me also suspects something about the sum image makes me seem a little bit intimidating to people.
It did come in handy one time when a racist drunk guy was harassing a poor Korean commuter on the subway. It’s hard to quantify the ways being scary/intimidating is good for you, as opposed to the inverse.
Im always in my head about if I’m intimidating people. Particularly women if I’m taking a walk at night or on a trail. Like, I promise just because I look like an ogre doesn’t mean I am one.
Been moving country/city a few times. Tried to make sure to always do stuff in my free time where there would be girls around. Ended up on quite a few dates!
Dating is so much fun. I love meeting strangers in this weird pseudosexual tension when you don’t know eachother and you don’t know what’s gonna happen.
Even bad dates were fun experiences in terms of meeting interesting people. And if you realize that being happy alone is better than being in a bad relationship, a failed date is no problem.
It’s crazy the amount of people in this thread who found love when they weren’t actively searching for love.
Can’t force it, can’t fake it, just have to let it in. I love love and I love you.
I just recently started fingerblasting a friend of mine.
That’s basically a date, right?
Congrats on the fingerblasting
I’m waiting for some brave lonesome soul to make c/fedidate
It could be you.
I’m only one of those things at a time
It’ll exist at some point surely, surprised it hasn’t been made already.
After a breakup it was good for fucking around (literally) but if you want something meaningful and serious, go for shared interests. Go talk to other people slacklining if you’re into that. Visit skate parks, art exhibitions, tournaments you like.
After a couple years the dating pool, last spring I was fed up with all the bullshit, so I said “fuck it, I’m done” and gave up.
Shortly after I casually met my best friend’s sister after 10 years we didn’t see each other and had a really fun time, so we started hanging out. I didn’t even see her as a “potential candidate” in the beginning until I realized how much I enjoyed spending time together. So we started dating and now we’re in a truly wonderful relationship, I can easily say the best I ever had.And I think all of this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t let myself truly enjoy someone without any preconceived goal or expectation, without that “fuck it, I’m done” moment.
To the ugly people out there:
I’m using “ugly” here for clarity, but it’s important to remember that though beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there is “being ugly”, “looking ugly” and “acting ugly”
Some people are naturally beautiful, other have to work on it. Call it talent, if you will. Either way, when talent doesn’t work hard, you need to work hard yourself. Go to the gym, not to become a muscle machine, bit to be and look healthy. Surprise, looking healthy looks attractive. It’s not even immediately about losing weight, though for some that too may be very helpful.
Then, go to YouTube and find some videos on helping to appear better. Look into fashion that you like, and whatever you pick, try to do it well. Look however you want, but just try to look well. A well dressed emo looks better than a shoddy emo. Same for chads, furries, or you name it.
Then: just don’t be a dick. You can be beautiful on the outside, but if the inside is rotten, nobody will want to be with you, doh. Find people with your interests, be it sports, Warhammer, hiking, foods, politics, or playing chess, find someone that shares your ideas, interests and values.
And just be nice! That sounds easy, but it may require some work, depending how talented you are with being nice. I make a point out of it to always be a progressive gentleman. So while I’m not of the “women belong in the kitchen”, I will always open every door for my dates (well, now wife),I always volunteer to help them out with something, I never ask for anything in return. Find a good sense of humor, everybody likes to laugh.
There are no guarantees, but with 8 billion people on this world, it can’t be impossible to find somebody that wants to love you
I’ve done that, check check and check. Unfortunately, the people I wanted to date did not and were more ugly on the inside that I could’ve imagined.
Just don’t really meet anyone I’m even curious to know better lately.
Waste of time. Now I’m 46, no kids, never married. Couldn’t be happier.
There are many ways to ‘enter the dating pool.’ All of them are different.
Dip a toe, make a splash, tread some water do some laps, helps to have a little cash, go outside don’t fuck with apps
Lyrics?
They are if you sing em! Just shitposting ;)
I love dating later in life as opposed to dating when I was younger. People my age are usually much smarter and well rounded than when we were in our 20s. If they have kids, they’re usually grown enough to not be annoying. I love when I hear short fat older freshly divorced dudes complain. Like homie, there is a reason you are getting the responses you do on the apps. Although I am incredibly tall and in decent shape, so ymmv.
This was my experience as well, everyone had calmed down and just staying in shape put me in the better looking bucket. Duck to swan thing, I didn’t get to feel that when I was young so it was kinda nice.
Well I’m 24 and I’ve never even kissed anyone so I think that answers everything nicely…
I’m even older, you’re not alone.
Same, it feels awful at times and i try not to dwell too much on it.
Being a trans girl with pretty privelage tm and just hanging out in spaces for us had gotten me enough dates tbh
