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Sponsored by toxoplasmosis
You can’t tell me what to — oh, a pretty cat!
If toxoplasmosis reduces my heart attack risk and stress with no discernable side effects sign me up!
Cat people have 40% less risk of heart attack.*
Cat people are also overrepresented cohorts of wealthy people and women, two cohorts who have a much lower risk of heart attack than the most at risk cohort of poor men.
So what you are saying is the more cats I get the richer I will be?
Yes that’s exactly how causation and correlation work, go for it!
And more feminine
But I’ll get cat hair on my programmer socks!
But I still have lots of cats, right?
Scientists have discovered that having more cats reduces the risk of heart attacks and increases wealth with no upper limit*
*study sponsored by toxoplasmosis foundation
Correlation and Causation are just fancy-pantsy words used by experts to lie to us common folk!
No but cats are correlated with wealth, I’m not implying any sort of causation, unlike the post lol.
Because they’re famously expensive to keep?
Gotta sell them all
Isn’t it also that pet owners in general have better health?
Possibly. It would make sense, people with poor health who tend to also be poorer financially are less likely to have the ability to take care of a pet.
Petting a cat calms down & relieves stress.
There’s a 50/50 chance that a cat will try to claw your eyes out if you rub their belly, but yes.
Survivorship bias: those who live through the encounter have lowered stress.😁
The calming down and stress relief all happens once the petting session ends.
Knowing that you survived probably gives you a nice hormonal boost:-).
Depends on the cat. There’s some that will let you do just about anything and at most bat you with a paw, claws retracted. Then there’s others that if you don’t pay attention and pet them just a fraction wrong will take your arm off. Know your cat.
This is true, I had both living with me at the same time for years.
Sort of still do but the bitey half is more playful now (different cats)
Your stress will reduce to 0 if you die, so
My cat learned I can’t see when I have the VR headset on and knocked a lamp over onto my head.
Wholesome. Except the 4th-panel propaganda. That poor woman is dead after that…
Depends on the cats personality, some will tolerate, others will kill.
Look at the cat’s eyes! She is about to die. That’s why no 5th panel
Yup
My neighbours cat sleeps on my couch when the door is open and he always wants me to scratch his belly.
Nice, that’s basically free healthcare.
Yeah, it’s pretty great. All I have to do is feed their cats when they’re away.
Does it really heal wounds and stabilize blood pressure? That seems a bit far-fetched.
according to Google, cat purrs are at a specific frequency that somehow helps you heal faster
One of it’s purrrposes is to shake wounds and increase bloodflow. This is why cats sometimes pur after conflict; they’re licking their wounds in multiple ways.
So someone better than me at maths could probably figure out how many cats I’d need to heat my with them room (and if the catfood etc needed would be cheaper than heating) …
Guinea pigs are kittens that never become cats
