I just feel so fucking alone. I’m struggling to get the help I need and I am broke and it makes me feel like such a loser. I struggle with getting attention from women anyway.
I’m just an average tech nerd with chronic myeloid leukemia who spends his time on dumb little tech projects. I have been too depressed lately to find joy in things I used to like watching movies/tv, playing video games, and reading books. I can stay focused on rolling out servers and scripts to pass the time but it doesn’t bring me joy anymore.
I know this isn’t what anyone wants to hear, but it’s real. I’m broken. I need real loving support for the first time in my life, which I have never had. I need someone to hold me and tell me it’s all going to be okay even if we both know it’s not.
I swear I’m an interesting person with a wide variety of interests and thoughtful things to say. I have just been crying all day after having one more avenue of potential help shut in my face because my life isn’t fucked up enough yet to justify helping me.
Sorry, I know no one wants to deal with someone like this I don’t know why I’m posting except desperation to be seen, heard, and loved.
January 2027 unless I am officially considered disabled there will be work requirements.
I have done the the math, the likelihood is that even if I am able to find a job and get 20 hours a week that it will push me over the income limit and I will be kicked off medicaid. If I don’t find a job that lets me work only 20 hours a week I will also be kicked off medicaid.
The goal of this setup put into place by Trump’s big bastard bill is obviously to kick people like me off medicaid whether we get a job or not because getting the job will push us over the income limit and boot us off and not getting a job will boot us off.
Fucking hell, that’s America for you, basically killing Medicaid for the absolute poor in society and reserving it for just those marked in mental trouble and physically disabled. I’m trying to sign up for it too in Maine and I’m pretty worried they may not even cover me due to the same laws, especially when it seems like no one will hire me anyways. Trying to sign up for disability, but I’m scared it’ll be impossible to sign up for.
For disability, try to find a disability lawyer if you can. I don’t know if they have them in Maine, but here in Washington there’s a lot of lawyers who specialize in helping you sign up for disability and representing you in court. They don’t ask for pay up front, instead when you finally get paid out from disability, you will get a lump sum backpayment back to when you first applied. They will usually make an agreement with you to take a portion of that as their payment. My agreement is for 25% of the backpayments, which I feel is pretty reasonable for legal representation, especially when it adds up to being a lot cheaper than a standard lawyer fee. I strongly suggest researching those lawyers, ask around, find which ones get results and have the most success getting their clients declared legally disabled, and then go have a consultation with them.
I am hoping I can get mine through before I lose my medicaid, just crossing my fingers on that though.