No matter what, I cannot seem to adhere to unwritten rules for things. Everything has to be laid out step-by-step and clearly for me like I’m a robot or something. I hate it. I sometimes can’t process language of any kind, not even my own native English to the point where people think I’m a second language speaker.

I can’t fit in to any social media, it feels like, except my own communities. I got banned from Reddit once before making a new account and they didn’t even tell me why, I just didn’t stick to their rules and I don’t know exactly the threshold or what the unwritten rules are unless I’m given that super clearly.

I feel like a dumb, beat-up dog. I always have felt that way.

I never fit in at school either. When I talk and try to make friends, I should “mind my own business” and I’m too loud and talkative. When I don’t talk at all, I don’t get bullied but no one notices me and I’d rather have negative attention than no attention.

People say that I think it’s all about me, and whenever I try to find an outlet to express myself, I get called an attention-seeker by people. My therapist says I’m not a narcissist just because I want an outlet and attention, but other people would beg to differ.

Luckily, my friends are all neurodivergent as are my boyfriend and girlfriend who love me. My family doesn’t have views I agree with, but they love me too.

I only seem to fit in on my own communities I make, such as my Learn Norwegian community and my Small talk one in Norwegian (Småprat)