Stop existing to work. Instead create the memories now. Go have fun now. In the US the retirement age is going up to 70. One of the reasons is specifically because people are getting more good years, so of course the bar had to be moved. Enjoying retirement is a con.
That’s great advice in a society where most people don’t need several jobs to survive.
I know of some people who have radically redefined survive. From Van Life to learning a language and going to developing countries where it’s easier to earn money and have fun. I’m not saying that’s a good fit for you or that we should all be doing it but at some point putting 90 hours in just to keep the apartment and child care paid for is going to break. So something needs to happen to relieve that first or else you’re just going to die young and stressed.
People need to face the reality that currently for a lot of people it’s just not possible to escape the reality of living in financial distress and on the edge of homelessness their whole lives. Just because you know of some lucky people who were able to escape it doesn’t mean that it’s possible for everyone. It’s really demeaning to tell people to ‘work harder’ or ‘change it up’ ‘you’ll get there!’. Because you’re implying that it’s their fault if it doesn’t get better.
The only way to change this reality is to change the system we live in, and to stop letting rich people rule our economies and thus our lives.
At the root of it yes. I’m not trying to blame people who keep their nose to grind wheel for whatever reason, and there are legitimate reasons to do so. I’m just saying that when the system is this broken we should be throwing the box away. We don’t owe the elites shit. I legitimately looked into the price of living in camp grounds at one point before we were able to bring in more money. It’s a 2 week limit in each spot but the “rent” is far lower.
going to developing countries where it’s easier to earn money and have fun.
Curious, what countries exactly are you thinking of?
I’ve heard of people who are really into surfing going to Mexico. Most countries South of Central America fill the same function for people who just like doing outdoors stuff. We’re not talking about France or something.
Fun requires being alive, requires money, requires work, demands time. Getting fun can get complicated. There isn’t a true answer to this conundrum as far as I know—not an inspiring one, at least. Makes me think about what human life is supposed to look like.
Makes me think about what human life is supposed to look like.
I also spent most of my energy working, but I do get some time to occasionally do things I like but those also take some energy. If I imagine my perfect life I probably wouldn’t have the energy to live it. But still, I can’t help thinking I should do much more and I feel bad…
Go have fun now.
That doesn’t look like anything to me.
is the increases to fra still due to reagan’s changes to the system in the early 80s?
I honestly don’t know where the blame lies for the financial situation but the age increase legislation was much more recent, like Obama years.
I had workaholic parents who expected “retirement” to finally be the time to enjoy life. So they grinded, 60 hour work weeks for decades. They made a ton of money but by the time they made it to retirement they destroyed their bodies.
My mom has extremely severe chronic hip pain and cannot sit down. Due to constantly working in an office her muscles were severely atrophied and she cannot find the motivation to get back in shape. She spends the vast majority of her time in bed, completely exhausted.
My father suffered chronic stress and once passed out at work. He struggles with high blood pressure and went partially blind. He is still working due to decisions I can’t share here.
The grind culture is such an alluring chopping block. A meat grinder… some people go in, apply for a thousand internships, work three jobs, but not all of them go out. Is it a weak vs. strong separator? Am I weak?
I hope not. I’m just an archer, not a tank, I’d like to think.
I’m sorry your dad still has to work, and about their injuries.
When you die, they will put two dates on your tombstone. The day you were born and the day you died. And, in between will be a little dash. That dash represents everything that mattered about your life. All your achievements and failures, all your joy and all your pain. All roll up in just a little dash. Make the most of it before that second date is written.
Remind me to start writing a diary in clay tablets, I’m gonna own the rest of graveyard and future archaeologists!
It worked for our boy Ea-Nasir.
Make sure those tablets get baked by a fire when your city is pillaged and burned. Raw clay doesn’t stand up well to water.
Bold of you to assume everyone gets a tombstone, some are gonna end up in a mass graves after being mass murdered by their government.
Accept the fact that nothing matters, obviously.
Nietzsche: Duh!
Nothing matters and all you have are the stories and the memories
And this feeling is why I started picking up music again after I stopped playing/recording for nearly 12 years. I’ve worked too hard and focused so much on being successful when I’ve forgotten what makes me truly happy.
Word. All of these efficiencies and inefficiencies… humanness is distinct from it
It’s hard to come to terms with sometimes. Looking at a staff with 3 bars, or a short riff, then thinking man, did I review my finances for the month? But the time isn’t wasted. The pastime isn’t a reward. It’s as important as the work.
But you don’t have to be a monk to balance again :)
Everyone wants to be happy. Be the least asshole possible.
This is why hedonism is a good thing.
You just can’t be so hedonistic that you can’t keep being one next year, and the year after. Or in a way that screws someone over.
Let go and let life slip through your hand like sand
I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
just like life
Ani, have you always been such a whiny bitch?
Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
All we are is dust in the wind.
I notice a lot of comments here saying “Hey go live your life now! Pick up that guitar or paintbrush or dancing shoes or whatever! Live for you!” And I agree. I often struggle with these existential thoughts.
But something they might leave out is that it’s HARD.
Following your own path can be unpredictable, and meandering, and you need to know who to trust and lean on them, and let them lean on you.
It can be a one-move-to-the-next kind of existing without that facade of “predictability” a society-prescribed life will get you. The good news is that stability is a myth anyway, so why not see it for what it really is?
I was treading water in a soul-destroying job for almost a decade when I finally saw the opportunity to strike out for myself, and I ran for it. My wife was promoted to a position that paid more and she didn’t hate it, so we discussed it and I quit, and took on more household duties and put my efforts towards finally becoming a 3D artist.
It’s been like a year+ and I still haven’t “made it” yet! It’s scary! But I’ve gotten some gigs! I’m still slow, and not as wildly creative as I’d like to be, but I do random labor on the side and try to keep my costs as low as possible. But she’s happier with how not-depressed I am, and I’ve made so much progress more than I ever would have otherwise.
Are we even able to start saving for retirement? Not even close! But I’m betting on myself and in the process I get a lot more time well-spent with the person I love.
No, not everyone is gonna have these opportunities or privileges, I know. But keep looking, talk to people, DO THE WORK instead of just talking about it. Help people! Let people help you! There will be some foothold for you somewhere.
And if you gotta pull some shifts at a coffee shop to keep the lights on there’s no shame in that! And you’re gonna have people who think you’re crazy and try to pull you back into the pot with the other cranky crabs because you’re there reminding them that they could’ve done something with their lives too.
My point is, taking charge of your life instead of asking permission from various gatekeepers is HARD. You might follow your dreams and find out you suck at it. The dream might even change at some point.
But it’s worth doing. Because what’s the alternative?
Lord knows if the worst were to happen, your boss will be filling your job before your body is cold. So where is your effort, energy, discipline, talents, love, best spent?
As Bruce Lee once said: “Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
I’d add, “one worth living.”
Yeah… it’s hard.
The status quo, even if its dredged from a lake, is so comfortably uncomfortable. You resolve to change, but do futilities. You resolve to change, but your leg is caught and you return by week two (aka the New Years’ Resolutions number).
And to leap out and be instantly different is to play as something that doesn’t have the safe façade of being a system gear. Then you’re an oxbow lake, rather than in the river, and you wonder if everyone else is “floating by” already while you erode the soil that kept you streamlined down the main.
And then comes the “Should I have stayed? Was I being arrogant, spoilt enough to give up what I had?”
Idk what the moral of my comment is. I don’t want to say “I’ll discover it in a few years” either (,>ࡇ<,). Hopefully the mystery box is truer to my self than the alternative
That’s a pretty big question, with a couple of different interpretations. If you are asking how I handle thinking about the passage of time, the easiest answer is to make it tomorrow’s problem. This is probably not the healthiest answer; but it doesn’t pay to stress over inevitabilities, so I just do my best to put them out of my mind.
If you are asking the best way to utilize your time, my recommendation is to start focusing on yourself immediately. It’s very easy to prioritize work by staying late or overworking yourself to make your bosses happy, but no amount of overwork will ever satiate your company; it will only serve to drain the life from your body. It’s very important to set firm boundaries with your job. I, personally, will not even look at my work phone or computer the minute I leave the office (on Mon-WFH days) and have a hard stop every day at 5PM unless agreed upon well in advance. You lose so much time and energy to your job that just standing firm on your boundaries can be a huge QoL boost.
Please also do your best to cultivate a creative outlet as a hobby. A lot of people don’t think they are/can be creative, but anyone can be creative if they find the right outlet. It could be art, sewing, crochet, music, writing, or even creative programming. The important thing is to find a way to explore your feelings and do something productive with them. In my experience, I am often the most vivacious are when I am making art in one form or another; I highly recommend it.
Thank you for this. This comment is just a little push but now I see – I’ve already forgotten how long I’d gone without writing a note onto a staff. How long I’ve spent on just “things that will pay me or pay off.”
I will do this immediately.
I wholeheartedly agree with all your points! You are not your job (even if you love your job)! Set clear boundaries, have hobbies, friends, take walks in nature, do some sports/pottery/gardening/whatever, try different things, til you find some you enjoy.
There are no destinations, only journeys. If you don’t find meaning in the path you’re walking you have three choices:
- Change the path
- Change yourself
- Live a life you feel is meaningless
There is no right or wrong answer, only choices and your experience of making them.
I have outlook on life similar to lichen
For work-life balance on the basis of the comic, by refusing to do any kind of overtime on a regular basis, and making sure any time it happens I’m compensated for it. I’m also fortunate enough to earn enough that I was able to reduce my working hours to have Fridays free. Having half of the year free gives me the opportunity to actually do some living.
Now for the more general question, I mostly try to not think about it, because it tends to throw me into a FOMO driven frenzy where I do things to cross them from a checklist and end up not really enjoying anything. For the most part, I found I’m much happier trying to live in the moment even if I’m not very good at it.
https://i.imgur.com/LMlTKLM.jpeg
Kaiji expressed the sentiment as well though imo a smidge better
Wasn’t this a villain speech? I don’t fully remember it but I feel like it might mean something different with the context
It was a villain speech, but sometimes the bad guys have a point. Remember the villain from the first James Cameron Avatar movie? He had this speech, which, gotta be real, he’s not wrong.
I have to say I totally disagree with the idea but this is really good writing.
They have a point, but ultimately it’s still a biased rationalization. The idea that life is impermanent and you can’t defer doing what you care about with it is true, but it does bug me when this is posted that it’s also an imagined, hostile caricature from the perspective of a character who sees people (in particular people who have found themselves in debt slavery to his organized crime group) as just worthless losers. That’s its focus, as a putdown from that perspective; portraying a man who works a low paying job, can’t get women, commits the sins of gambling and drinking. Unstated but implied is that this is about a failure of achievement that is at its core financial, that positions himself above them both by being rich and doing fucked up things that are by his logic “meaningful”.
The OP comic is kind of an interesting contrast to that, making a similar point, but about a woman with a successful career, where that success might not hold much meaning.
If I may add, to some people, connecting to nature is their “real life”, while building empires and going on adventurous journeys is but a struggle they have to endure.
Capitalism is the hidden antagonist here.
Make your life as close to what you want it to be in the present as you can personally achieve, and make plans. Focus on what you want to accomplish this day, week, month, year, 5 years, decade, and by the time you retire. Adjust as necessary if you go off track, whether faster or slower.
Time will pass. Harness it.
