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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 4 months ago

An unusual job posting

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An unusual job posting

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 4 months ago
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  • JustinTheGM@ttrpg.network
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    4 months ago

    For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn’t know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

    • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      We fired our fact-checkers, so we cannot verify whether that is true or not.

      • talentedkiwi@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        True or not, this is the outcome we deserve.

      • affiliate@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        i would like to post a community note saying that i personally believe it to be true

        • LoudWaterHombre@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          I can assure you it is true as I was there. I was the $100 note.

      • lath@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        The AI replacement says this is true.

      • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        They couldn’t before they fired them either, so not a lot has changed. Their “fact checkers” were poorly written algorithms that frequently flagged benign content as misinformation.

        • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          Their “fact checkers” were poorly written algorithms that frequently flagged benign content as misinformation.

          I think the goal was to flag benign content as misinformation to push truthful content to the same level as flat earth content.

          So doing exactly what was intended.

    • BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Yep you can read the follow up here: https://www.reddit.com/r/harrisonburg/comments/1hvdyv8/fake_kidpissed_wife_epilogue/

      • Cyborganism@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        Look at mister MVP over here.

      • big_slap@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        ahahahaha, thanks for linking

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

      He’s playing checkers, she’s playing 3d go.

      • pyre@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I think 3d go is called gone

    • noobface@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      and everyone clapped

  • mad_asshatter@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    $500 minimum, and I’d really have to think hard about it.
    $1000, done deal.

    • tiramichu@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Even at $100 it’s a pretty reasonable time/compensation ratio, assuming you only have to spend like 10 minutes on actual performance time.

      Of course there is potentially travel time and the overhead of communicating ahead of time to set up the prank.

      May not be worth it if you have a full time job already.

      • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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        4 months ago

        Any acting student would take the 100 gladly.

        • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Any acting student would take the 100 gladly.

          • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            > Any acting student would take the 100 gladly.

            • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              any acting stuDent would take 100 his towel

      • Yeller_king@reddthat.com
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        4 months ago

        It’s reasonable for a steady gig but not for a one-off contract.

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        4 months ago

        Eh I’d even take the gig for an entire evening

    • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Sorry, someone else already has the job. Thanks for your application though!

  • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Dealer’s choice ehh? Let’s go with “explosive herpes”.

    • Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Doctor’s have never seen anything like it before, explosive, just completely explosive.

      • Comment105@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Like a minefield around the mouth that usually looks like almost everything just went off. The boils in-between could get pretty huge for the face, too. Like a quarter inch. I actually have a dormant variety because I once tried to hug mom and a few of them popped. She screamed and hit me and made me promise to never do it again…

    • TheOgreChef@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      To shreds you say

    • trolololol@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Sounds like something will Farrell would say. Approved.

  • ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 months ago

    Sounds like the basis of a very healthy marriage!

    • merde alors@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      he sounds playful. They will be alright

    • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

      Once again a random user diagnoses a marriage from a single post. What a time we live in to have access to so many skilled experts capable of diagnosing such things with just a little bit of information!

      I think they’ll be fine: https://www.reddit.com/r/harrisonburg/comments/1hvdyv8/fake_kidpissed_wife_epilogue/

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      This is definitely healthy marriage shit. And a marriage that is better off than at least half. Humor is a necessary ingredient to happiness and the crazier the better sometimes.

      Edit: and if it wouldn’t work on your marriage, one or both of you is fragile.

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I’ve got some free time but I don’t think I could pass for twenty. RIP, $100.

  • Omega@discuss.online
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    4 months ago

    Oh shit I wanna do this

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    4 months ago

    Oh I would have totally done this lol

  • carl_dungeon@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I really want to know how this played out

    • turboturtle@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1i06kiv/need_a_fake_kid_to_piss_off_my_wife/

      • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        deleted by creator

      • carl_dungeon@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Thanks! That was a fun read :)

    • turboturtle@sh.itjust.works
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      deleted by creator

  • NineMileTower@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I like how OP denotes the actors, as to be very clear in his description of how he’s either going to get divorced or murdered.

    Let’s pretend you accomplish this and she sees the err of her ways. Then what? She’s going to kill you when she finds out the kid is not really yours.

    • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Actually it went really well. The wife thought it was hilarious, according to the husband.

      “I can’t decide what amused her more… the effort I put into the ruse or the fact that I ended up proving her right in the process. […She said] ‘Next time you can save $100 and just assume you’re wrong.’”

      • NineMileTower@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I’ll be damned. He found someone to match his crazy.

        • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          It’s not as uncommon as sitcoms make it seem. My wife–brilliant, hilarious, way smarter and better at things than I am–would probably think it was hilarious, too. It wouldn’t work for our situation (we got together too early in life for it to be believable), but I wouldn’t expect any backlash.

          I would expect payback in-kind, though.

          • NineMileTower@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            My wife found out last year that her mom cheated and that her dad was not her biological dad. He didn’t know either. 3 months later he died. Then when she found her biological dad, he had just died too. Then her mom got divorced from her current husband.

            Ain’t NO way am I fucking around with that right now.

            • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Whoa. Yep, I’d call that…like, the dictionary definition of reading the room. Yikes.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    This sounds fun but will for sure end with someone trying to blackmail him for more money or filing a fake paternity suit lol

    • DesolateMood@lemm.ee
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      The post, along with any dms for confirmation of the job, payment, etc, would be sufficient evidence of op’s innocence

    • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Sounds like the “kid” ended up being a pretty good actor and didn’t try anything shady. At least not yet.

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