Avoid talking to them!
They might make sense, and we haven’t finished indoctrinating you!
They call me godless when they use Comic Sans top to bottom.
I love comic sans.
Name another font that can start a small officeplace insurrection just being used to announce cupcakes in the fridge. I love watching people catch fire over a cupcake announcement.
Hey you sure seem grumpy. Are you atheist?
witnessing techniques
I’m not even gonna ask.
It’s their word for “proselytizing”
witness in(terrogatin)g techniques
Holy shit. I can’t believe I recognize this art.
This shit is ancient, and it was drawn as satire/bait. Nobody is handing out these flyers seriously. This post is rather embarrassing. Satire is dead I guess.
Edit: sources:
Source for text: scroll for text. I don’t know where the goat went. This website is a high-effort satire page that hasn’t been updated since like 2010. Looks real at first glance but just click around, it’s clearly not a real church.
This site may be satire, but it’s also linking to the southern baptist’s on the off chance you want to “find christ”. So, they’re definitely Christians. if it is satire, then it’s triggering poe’s law.
So I followed your link, found the quoted text, and and had a look around the website. I genuinely cannot tell if this is satire. Most of the links are now dead, but the ones that work seem to lead to serious sources. If it is satire, it is very high effort.
Anyway, I’m going to share with a friend who has more personal experience with this kind of thing and get their perspective.
It’s very well written satire. As someone who’s previously been part of evangelical house churches I can tell it’s been written by someone who was part of church life for years.
It’s so very well done I wasn’t sure myself of it was real or not. Believe it or not I’ve known many genuine Christians who could crank out earnest content that was this cheesy and insane.
The clincher for me if that it neither asks for money nor gives an address. => Satire
(On the kids ministry page, the music track listings are particular genius)
There is an image to a shop page:
This link is broken. Hmm… If this were a real organization that needed money, wouldn’t they either shut this site down entirely or fix their shop page?
Notice the LOL acronym. Now visit this page:
Here are some of my favorites (notice most of these children are pretty talented and drawing with computer programs in 2010):
Edit: I should have grabbed the image with “shotacat” lmao
So quick update: my friend who was homeschooled in a religious household but is now atheist thinks it is not satire. My take is that if this is satire, it’s going over a lot of people’s heads.
Well, there’s this…
…but honestly, I could see somebody sufficiently naive not recognizing that for what it is.
This one, however, is a bit less covert:
And then you recall reading this in the intro on the first page, and a pattern starts to develop:
My OBJECTIVE is JUST 4 KIDZ! The “Z” is for “ZEALOUSNESS,” 'cause Jesus wants us to be hot for Him, not lukewarm.
I don’t know where the goat went.
It tries to serve you
.swf(Shockwave Flash) versions unless your browser doesn’t support embedding, in which case it’ll serve you.gifs instead. I guess that, since modern browsers do support embedding in general but not Flash, that’s why they don’t display either version.Here are some of the
.gifalternatives:
deleted by creator
Very advanced witnessing techniques are required, such as compromat or threat of hanging.
You cannot attempt to battle an atheist unless you’re a level 10 Christian with at least a max level crucifix.
I love tricking people into neglecting god’s word.
Avoid talking to them
Yes please
I don’t believe in a higher power. That’s why I’m so fucking grumpy. It’s certainly not because we can’t have healthcare. It’s not because of a genocide. It’s not because workers are exploited. Not because our planet is destroyed. No, it’s all because I don’t believe in a cloud man.
Witness to me and I’ll gore you with my horns. Bah.
I remember two adults acting as aegis for their child. The kid approached my door, handed me a flyer and asked me to come to his Jesus party. The parents were smiling hopefully. I have no idea what Jesus party even meant.
I kneeled and said flatly “There’s no such thing as Jesus. Your parents and your pastor are lying to you.”
They were HORRIFIED, the parents rushed up my stoop, the father literally grabbed the kid under his arm like a football and they fled.
Am I an asshole? No. That child needed to know he’s being deceived.
Possibly unpopular opinion by a fellow atheist, but you’re just as bad as a preaching Christian by doing that. Trying to turn others to your belief system, however right it may be, is shitty, homie. Way to ruin a kids party, when you admit yourself you didn’t even know what they meant by Jesus Party. Made an assumption, ruined a kids week. YTA.
The difference is OP didnt go knocking on their door spreading their belief. If they cant handle differing views fear of shaking their faith… than maybe dont go knocking on stranger’s doors preaching your beliefs.
When did he say they were spreading their beliefs? Didn’t sound like they said anything about religion except that it was a Jesus themed party, and he didn’t even know what that meant, it could have meant a lot of things.
I was WAY more grumpy as a believer. Whoever wrote this probably pisses off all the atheists around them because they don’t know how to treat them.
Fr. I was so grumpy when I thought I believed in God because I’d gaslit myself into thinking I deserved to go to hell for not being able to force myself to believe “enough”. Super healthy mindset for an 8 year old right? Right??
