We have to lock ours in a safe because our cat’s an asshole
We would like to see the evidence
Oh, you’ve got a carb nibbling goblin, too? If we accidentally forget to put away the bagels, the bread, the muffins, the cookies, the cake, the insert whatever carb treat here… We will inevitably wake up to find tiny holes chewed out of the bag or box and shredded crumbs everywhere, including stuck to the little asshole’s fur.
Hate this diagram because who uses a bread box without any of the other non-chaotic evil options.
Chaotic neutral and lawful good is the GOAT
Drop the bread box and just gently squish the entire loaf before twisting and tucking to basically vacuum seal it. That’s my GOAT
This. For soft crumb American sandwich sliced bread, you want as little air circulation as possible, balanced only by not crushing the loaf. A bread box is a quaint place to toss the bread once you squish the air out, but without the bag it’s basically the same as the chaotic evil option.
This image is fairly old, and I have disagreed with it from the get go. Chaotic evil is tying as many knots as possible, forcing one to cut the bag open.
After licking every slice.
Chaotic evil is leaving the bag wide open … in the freezer … behind the three bags of frozen fries … for three weeks … but it’s the only bread you have at 11pm on a Saturday night and you don’t feel like doing or getting anything else to make you sandwich.
what is the bottle hack?
You put the bread in a bottle and you can just put the cap on it to keep it fresh. You can just pour it into your toaster after that!
🎶please don’t forget to close my bread that’s in a bottle, yeah🎶
Cut the top off of a 2 liter bottle and put the bread bag through the neck, spread it around the neck, then put on the bottle cap.
sounds like a lot of work when I can just leave the bag open
Why even put it back tbh
- cut the neck off a plastic bottle
- thread the end of the bag through
- fold the bag open around the bottle neck
- close the cap, trapping the bag between the bottle neck and the cap.
I’m sure it works but any other method of closing the bag from the top two rows are better imo, at least for bread.
Bottle the bread?
Idk
the… the bottle hack is for things like popcorn kernels that you can pour…
whoever closes a bread with the bottle hack is the true evil hiding in plain sight
Does anyone still have a bread box? I assume it’s to stop rodents, but hopefully most people don’t have rodents in their house. Does a bread box do anything else, or is that another technology that can fade into history?
Edit: TIL;
I bought bread box once but every time we used it the bread wouldn’t last 3 days. Can anyone explain why that was?
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Really I am supposed to use whole loaf of bread in 3 days?
No, you’re supposed to buy a loaf, use 1/3 of it before it goes bad, throw away the rest, and buy another loaf.
That’s fuck up.
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I have a bread box…which I generally don’t keep my bread in
I have one! I love it, it’s got a magnetic door my cat can’t open is one of my best purchases ever. I use it for baked goods, though, not bread. It’s too humid where I am to keep bread fresh at room temperature.
Never thought of that - I usually put baked goods in the microwave to keep them sort of fresh. Is it big enough for a 9”x12” baking pan? Tall enough for a layer cake?
Mine is not, it has two shelves which would each fit a 9*5 loaf pan with a little room on each end. Or like four cereal bowls of cookies. They do make bigger ones, but I imagine a microwave probably works just as well for something that gets eaten quickly.
I use one to protect my bread products from pets.
I do neutral evil because I haven’t seen a reason to do anything else.
You’ve never ended up with stale or moldy bread? I’m envious.
Bread is a stapleware, as such it needs to be eaten. Keeping the bag open for easier (tactical), time-critical access is a thus a necessity.
That’s why I live that chaotic neutral life.
Because of that? Not that I know of. From it being much past the best before date of course.
I tried the rubber band. I tried the clip. Neither work.
Only the fridge does. And that works well enough. I either tuck it, or I take it all out and keep it on a tray. Open. If I keep it for long enough to make it dehydrated, it’s my fault.I use the twist-and-tuck and the fridge in combination. Works well. When I worked at a restaurant we did the twist-and-tuck, but never needed to refrigerate bread because we went through it fast enough.
In my case, twisting it just causes too much moisture and sogging. So the twist-less tuck, keeping the air changing, is actually more intentional than lazy.
That’s fair! Whatever works for your situation.
Jokes on you, de-aired, twisted, twist tied and tucked
Just like my balls.
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When you say de-air, do you gently squish the whole loaf before twisting as well to effectively vacuum seal it?
Yes
Here’s a version for my fellow gluten-free peeps:
Funniest comment so far, you get a prize! An upvote.
Thank you! I want to ::sniff:: thank my coach, the whole team ::sniff::, and especially my mom for helping make this happen! ::sniff:: Love you mom!
Chaotic neutral for me. The twist tie goes in my twist tie collection.
idk why anyone would choose anything but chaotic neutral
unless you own a breadbox
Exactly! Everything else is just extra steps for the same result.
I put mine in the fridge. Why? It lasts longer.
That’s actually false. Bread is one of the few items that turn bad quicker in the fridge than on the counter. https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/shopping-storing/food/bread-storage
I live in a hot, humid environment. Keeping bread in the fridge helps it to stay good for multiple weeks. If I leave it out, it molds way quicker. I also sometimes will store bread in the freezer to keep it fresh even longer if I know I’m just going to make toast out of it.
Oh I don’t mean homemade. I meant regular bread. I don’t bake. I cook. But good to know!
Yeah, good point, but that article isn’t talking about what’s in this picture.
Store-bought sandwich bread usually can be kept in the fridge without much change in texture. That’s because it often contains additives and preservatives that keep it fresh longer.
Freezer is my preference. Stays good for very long and keeps the texture and freshness. Put it in toaster or microwave after if in a hurry, otherwise you can just put slices in the fridge so you have unfrozen ones for the breakfast.
I just never bake mine.
I use a bread box and still put the bread in its original bag with the original clip.
True lawful good. Bread box alone is chaotic evil disguised as lawful good.
Bread box doesn’t preserve air retention or protect against anything smaller than a mouse (roaches, air borne nasties).
Where does “twist and pull back over the loaf” fall? Same as twist and tuck essentially?
Its really just the best method no need for some stupid ass bottle cap. But it seals it just as well.
Yeah, it’s really just chaotic neutral but fancier.
I think in my entire life I’ve only ever seen one or maybe 2 bread boxes.
I have an old bread box; but I don’t use it for bread.
Did you know you can put your weed in there?
Did you know you can put your weed anywhere? Some places have better results but you can still put it there.
I hide my weed in the bread.
In that case, does it become a weed box? Is a bread box still a “bread box” if it doesn’t contain bread?
10th option: eat the entire loaf in one sitting.
I was thinking that this matrix is missing an accompanying time-chart but I don’t know how to plot the y axis.
