That is seriously how my mother cooked when I was a kid. The dreaded words before dinner were, “this was an experiment.”
And it was always shit like this. “Well, it called for four cups of sugar, but sugar is bad for you, so I substituted potato flour.”
Working in tech support be like
Except they don’t tell you that they did something different and you have to spend half an hour just figuring that out.
Yeah. You would have had to triangulate your way around to getting the information that is exactly the information that you knew already that it was.
“Sir, I need you to go to the oil that you used and check if it is non-hydrogenated or hydrogenated. It should be printed on the back of the label.”
“What do you mean, I never had this problem before”
“Yes, I’m aware, they have changed the oil constitution recently. I’ll be able to resolve this problem for you, I just need to know if the oil is hydrogenated or not.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything”
“Can you just check the back of the bottle, please? Then I’m sure we’ll be able to get your recipe working again”
“Okay, well I didn’t actually use oil, I used toothpaste because it was expired and I wanted to get rid of it”
“Aha! Okay, I understand sir. I’m glad we were able to get to the bottom of the issue you’re having. So, if you make the recipe with toothpaste, it definitely won’t taste the same or have a good consistency. I think if you switch back to using oil you’ll find that the pancakes still taste the same as they used to”
“But I think I should be able to use toothpaste.”
“Absolutely. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Fuck this is painfully on point. Both as someone whose worked in customer service and IT.
Click the start button. The start button. It’s on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don’t click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.
I remember one call where the customer didn’t know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.
I legit had the following interaction.
Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened. Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later. Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there? Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me. Me: dies internally
I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used: Client: “My modem is colorful and full of lights!”
seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn’t happen to you.
I used to work in tech support for a pharmacy chain.
One day I ask the pharmacist to unplug for 10 seconds. He tells me he doesn’t know how to count to 10, just 30. Sometimes he has to count to 60, or 90, or even 180…but he doesn’t. He just counts to 30 until it looks good.
I’m sorry, what?? Are you leaving something out, or was the pharmacist mixing their own samples?
In the US, most retail pharmacists do little compounding. They mostly check for drug interactions (since most prescribers don’t talk to each other unless you’re a patient of a holistic care team) and make sure the techs and the software don’t screw up.
The joke is that most pills are dispensed in multiples of 30.
HoHohHOhOHohohOHoHOhoHOhoHOohHOHOHOHO
You good?
I think Santa has been huffing the coal or something.
