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BPD is becoming increasingly more treatable and less therapists have the opinion that you stated here. It’s just that CBT, the traditionally used approach, is not the most effective solution. It’s DBT that is effective for BPD. As the commenter below you said, mindfulness has been great for them, and that’s a core part of BPD. I don’t have BPD but my diagnosis includes “traits of BPD” on my chart and I thought therapy didn’t work for me until I went to a specifically DBT-focused skills group.
its true. as a person with cptsd (bpd) ive mainly had to resort to giving myself the therapy i need through reading, being mindful every moment of the day (i legit have conversations with myself in real time to decide-what i want to say- vs the impact it will have), and psychiatric medication. The real difficult thing is getting the said person with BPD to WANT to change, and i mean with a desperate fervor, otherwise therapy is basically a silly talk session for me where i jab at the therapist to make them say what i want them to say.
too add an analogy to this, its like building a car with Kinex building sticks, painting it over and making it look like a normal vehicle but driving it is a whole different issue. you cant change the structure under the paint, but you can slowly reinforce every bit of it until its ready to drive on the freeway.
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its very real. My principle (a 72 year old educator) sent me to counseling after telling me, a fifteen year old boy, “there is something wrong with you”, however when i got to counseling i passed with flying colors. I legitimately thought i was normal for the longest time.
Honesty will take us a long way. Allistic people treat honesty like a two sided blade, but if you can find somebody who will let you know when youre being shitty and you can legitimately look up too (not a fucked up attachment syndrome where they’re perfect) then itll make all the difference.
oh and medication. Find a good psych, theres no shame in it and it beats self harm lol
It’s ok to look back at a painful event and have empathy for that younger person, then you can either stay there or accept any wisdom to be learned and write the next chapter but you can’t live in both places at once.
“You don’t have to do everything all at once” and “it’s okay to have a meltdown when you get home” helped a lot to be honest
If my employer wants to be ‘like a family,’ then they shouldn’t have an issue with a meltdown on company time.
Please remember to bring exact change next time.
Schizophrenia isn’t real and you are the way you are because of social anxiety.
NO! THE PHYSIOLOGICAL EVIDENCE MATTER! I DON’T CARE ABOUT SCANS OF THE NEOCORTEX! THESE
10077 CASES THAT WE CHERRY-PICKED FOR THEIR RESULTS ARE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED TO MAKE MY CASE!YOU’RE WORSE THEN THE TENURE COMMITEE!
I HOPE ALL YOUR PETS DIE AND YOU KILL YOURSELF!
You should seek out a new therapist, that’s bad advice.
Hard to believe he was Head of Psychiatry at a major hospital, huh?
Nah, some people need to hear that their issue isn’t real for them to move on
“I think you should come here twice a week to work that out”
I’m not sure how that helps you though.
They always tell me “sorry, you’re too complex, go somewhere else”
Been there…
I went in saying that work feels boring and repetitive. Feel stuck in the same job for the rest of my life, even though i hate it.
She said we all feel that way.
I would throw a fucking truck at her.
That’ll be 200 bucks please
Thoughts are habits. You can’t always change your circumstances, but you can change the way you think about them. The more you practice healthy thought patterns, the better you develop good habits.
Based stoicism
I need to work on this one
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Actually I want every living and potentially living thing in the universe to expire, including spores, viruses, text and LLMs
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I can assure you it would not. It would not feel like anything.
Pain is relative. Yes other people may have it worse than you. The worst pain you’ve felt in your life is still the worst, for you. So don’t write it off so easily.
I love this! Thank you ❤️
Someone, not a therapist, told me pain isn’t a competition. I don’t have to wait for my pain to be worse than the pain of the people around me before I go get help for myself.
In this case, I had physical pain I put off getting checked because it wasn’t worse than what why partner deals with daily. Turned out I needed antibiotics for a bad infection.
More generally, feelings do not care about facts. We must accept how we feel, even if those feelings don’t “make sense”. Trying to reason with feelings is a fools errand.
That doesn’t mean we can’t change how we feel. It just doesn’t happen by denying reality.
I have a few but my absolute favorite was when he said " Imagine there’s a woman, maybe she is homeless or on drugs, and she shouts at you as you walk by across the street. She says you look like a cockroach. What would you do? " “Probably laugh” “Exactly, think of your parent as that woman. They have no effect on your life but noise” I’m paraphrasing but I liked the idea of my negative thoughts ingrained by generations of trauma being like a random shouting on the street.
Learn to identify what you’re feeling.
This, big time.
One thing that helped me: I went out and found a list online of emotional descriptor words and, while journaling, I’d start my entries listing the emotions I felt in the moment and elaborate on them individually.
I struggle hard to verbalize my thoughts in general, but emotions (especially strong & conflicted ones) can be overwhelming to verbalize!
That sounds very helpful. I’ve found charts like
helpful for drilling down from a general feeling to something more specific.
I especially like
because it associates them with how the body feels.
Oh wow this is amazing! I especially like that you can work both ways, starting with something broad and narrowing down or vice versa. Thanks for these!!
Allow yourself to feel something first.
“I’m sorry but I have to respond to an emergency. Please see reception about rescheduling your appointment.”
If you can’t stop thinking about the worst possible outcome, try imagining the opposite. A nice and comfortable situation that makes you happy. To take up space in your thoughts and orient you towards more pleasant emotions
Shitty low-quality advice tbh
Eh? How it will change the outcome?
It’s not about changing the outcome, it’s about stopping anxiety. This advice was given to me for use when feeling anxiety that is debilitating about a potential worst-case scenario which is usually unrealistic
Doing something could stop it, not doing anything will not stop anything…
Outcomes are rarely determined by your own thoughts about the situation.
It’s like being anxious about driving because you’re worried someone is going to hit you. As long as you’re being safe and careful, being an anxious mess isn’t going to make you any safer and it can even make things worse.
Of course I’m not trying to say “just stop being anxious!” but you have to understand that only ever thinking about the worst case scenario will hinder far more progress than it will help.
Yeah, it’s a matter of possibilities, and yeah anxiety doesn’t help. As a cybersec specialist worst case scenario always have to be taken into consideration under the premise of realistic outputs. You have always be ready for the worse, do damage control and after the possible disgrace you have new lessons learned. “Control what you can, prepare for the worst, and move forward despite the risk.”
LaW oF aTtRaCtIoN