I also judge this guy.
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
I also judge this guy’s fake girlfriend
Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
I know. Straight girls cannot have standards. Or need to fetishize awful shit. Or die alone.
Edit: to be clear, this is because men are fucking horrible. Straight girls are tragic figures here. I hope someday we find a cure for heterosexuality, for their sake, and the incels.
I…what?
A cure for hetero. Imagine if you could casually hook up with any of your similarly cute friends. And also intuitively understamd the plot of anything made by hideo kojima.
Dude, heterosexuality isn’t some kind of disease that needs to be cured. I would take intuitive understanding of Kojima’s plots, though.
It wouldn’t be some kind of disease if men didn’t generally suck so badly. Instead we need to invent the bisexuality gas.
This makes me angry
Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.
Being angry? That makes me even more angry!
Just use perfume
Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.
is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.
Why stop at just one?
Even once is more often than never.
Septic masculinity
I guess he forgot to scratch his back as well
That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.
People should not rip on the guy unless he is one of those “it’s gay to wipe my ass” morons. I have no idea how many, but some amount of people have issues with things like this; I know I did when I was younger. Slamming people should not be the first choice.
I agree with you, especially since he did ask for help. I have a feeling he was aware of what the issue was but was in denial about it. But, if someone were to ask me if I could sum up Reddit in a thread, that would be a contender if not the top choice as an example of what to expect. That or “what is potato”
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
For some reason I am offended that you used a / between itchy and smelly implying that it will be both.
It absolutely can be both
if there is poo left there, it will be both
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
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So you know that ice cold water sprayed into your ass can give you brain freeze, right?
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what brand? i tried a biobidet and was horribly disappointed with the water strength compared to my cold non electric
The vivohome with knob, not remote.
Pressure is great, too much actually, depending.
I got it because it was the cheapest one with all the features, and in fact is even cheaper now than when I bought it.
It’s been going strong for 3 and a half years now
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
Having tried simple bidets in both warm, cold, and neutral-ish climates, I find that cold water bidets seem to stiffen the poo bits and make it hard to actually get them off your butt esp since they stick to the hairs. You and I might be talking about different levels of cold, though.
I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
It is literally a small bottle with a folding spigot thingie. I do clean mine with soap and water every once in a while, but it is kinda hard to get dirty.
A shower with soap is best, preferably after a different method. But whatever it’s your house, you can shit direct to shower if you like.
If you got poop on you anywhere else. Dry wiping it would not be sufficient. Rinsing it off and patting it dry would not be sufficient. You would wash with soap.
That said, I have a bidet I use some of the time and plain old TP the rest of the time.
yup, i sit on the edge of the batch and get it with warm water and shower gel usually
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If you can’t afford one, or rent, or wander around, travel bidets are about $20-$30 and are a water bottle with a hook-shaped wand-spout and an air valve.
My proctologist has a personal vendetta against wiping, and I messed up my piles from ages of wiping too hard. Bidet and dab to dry.
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Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?
Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman’s sauna and changing room haven’t.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it’s been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I’ve been really bothered by itNo they don’t. At least mine doesn’t. Probably because they clean their toilets and showers.
Find a new gym. If they’re not cleaning the shower, what else don’t they clean?
As I said, it’s been a universal experience in the 5 or so different gyms I’ve tried so far. I’m obviously not going into the bad smelling shower because the women’s showers actually are clean. So idk if that can be blamed on the gym
I’m saying this without knowing anything about your gym. But in my experience. There are often more guys than girls who work out at a gym. Guys are more likely to go to the gym more often, with a set routine and put in some work.
Where am I going with this? More guys, who sweat more, use the shower and thus it becomes dirtier, quicker. Simply due to there being more guys that use them. And then it starts to smell more. Especially, when the staff doesn’t clean the showers very often. And doesn’t do a very thoroughly job either. Dirt and bacteria accumulates as a result and stink up the place.
the fact that you’ve experienced this at multiple gyms, I don’t think is attributed as much to guys shitting in the shower, as I would say it’s the multiple gyms that are consistent in not cleaning their showers.
The gym I go to have a sheet inside the locker room where the cleaners sign off every time they clean the toilet and showers. According to the sheet, they do so regularly, and by the cleanliness of both the showers and the toilet. I believe them.
No. If I went to the showers and they smelled like poop I would leave that gym.
yep, if showers smell like shit, its cause theres shit somewhere.
No, they don’t.
It’s either a weird coincidence or in perhaps that the fitness chains areusing the same plumber and that guy is doing a shit job.
One possibility: Guys will keep the same crack-sweaty shorts in their locker and use them over and over without washing them. It doesn’t take too many doing that for the aura take over the locker room. Some guys really have no sense of personal hygiene.
If it’s specifically the showers, then the staff are not cleaning things up properly.
Maybe it’s just terrible plumbing, that pushes shit below where those showers are.
We had an issue at work where flushing in the men’s would cause the shit to pop up in the ladies toilet. There was a fair few arguments among the women over who was leaving floaters.
That’s horrible but kinda hilarious too. Wondering how the hell they tracked that one down.
“Well this one had bits of corn and bean in it but only Bob had that today for lunch and I’m positive I saw him bolting for the men’s room, so mayyybe…”
Could be just poop, but combining old man smell, body odor and mold will make some gnarly stench. Still someone needs to get out the cleaning supplies.
There are an awful lot of men that are so insecure and terrified of being gay/are so homophobic that they think touching their own ass to wipe/wash it makes them gay… So they don’t wipe/wash their ass at all.
And thats why they, the things they touch, and the areas they congregate, always smell like shit.
It smells like shit, because it IS shit.
I worked at a foundry a while back and they had a locker room and showers so it was normal to have fully naked guys just walking around, this was fine, the problem was the guys that didn’t wipe their ass properly and sat down on the bench by the lockers before showering… The benches were a light pine color, you could see spots of shit where people sat, just dried on there.
I never sat on those benches, even to put my boots on, people are disgusting.
Yeeup… That kind of shit (in both the literal and figurative meaning of the word) is why I hate any public/shared/not my at home shower.
Go to the bathrooooooommm!!!
Not yet!guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it’s brown now because of the smell. I’ve been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can’t let her see the room because I’ve smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can’t get the smell out dad said he’s going to force me to get a job!
I didn’t know Asmongold was on Lemmy!
how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!
5 bucks says he doesnt wipe his ass after shitting, or wash his ass in the shower, so has a perpetual skidmark, possibly even full blown melted toblerone.
I hate the phrase, “full blown melted toblerone”. Thanks for sharing 🤣
I am glad to have, now, a permanant place of residence within the warehouse of your trauma. 💩
Remember this from the Tony Hawk soumdtrack, what a classic!
Fake: op has gf
Gay: he’s fucking his chair?
