I think people don’t realize how many doors are automatically open for them if they’re polite and hard working. Lots of interactions go way smoother if your end is always covered and the person you’re talking to wants to help you because you’re being nice.
Compare this to someone who is lazy and impolite. I think polite people would be genuinely surprised at how shit the day-to-day life of someone impolite is. Of course we’ll never hear it from the impolite because a defining characteristic is that they’re self-centered and ignorant.
The key is asking for it. Someone lazy and impolite who asks/demands that things go their way will get a lot of validation (externally at least)
But if you’re polite and hardworking and ask to get your way (which is not necessarily impolite, no matter what the perpetually anxious try to tell you), you actually have even more opportunities laid out for you.
To quote Parasite (2019):
Ki-taek: She’s rich but she’s still nice.
Chung-sook: Not “Rich but still nice.” Nice because she’s rich, you know? Hell, if I had all this money, I’d be nice too!
*laughs in a plethora of doors opened with everyone else barging through them instead
What? Yeah? Some doors open in some ways other doors open in others?
my comment was about how doors open in my life, and I never make it through because other people enter before I do and close the door leaving me standing around confused
Similarly, it also closes doors, especially in the US where the egregore of the “Executive leader” dominates - the kind of people who’ll forward an email with just “?!” as the body and expect their team to fix whatever problem it contains.
I end up doing a lot of my admin at home (I’m salaried) bc people won’t leave me alone with their conversations that…aren’t important. But the hours are really good. One more year and I can move on and take a massive pay bump without working outside of campus hours.
I am meticulously polite and helpful. It’s who I am, and I won’t stop because the people who deserve to be treated like I treat people really are worth it.
People who treat you like shit don’t deserve shit.
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I do whats required of me at work, no more no less, and I’m always kind if I can help it. Bosses don’t care much about an employee who won’t go over and beyond, but at least i’m less stressed out…
Hmm, Yeah, I guess I’m only now coming around it, not sure . . . I’m 32.
I mean, I realized it much earlier, but did I change my behaviour right away? Of course not.
It’s definitely a topic I’m embarrassed to speak about with family.
Highschool when I was stonewalled from fixing my academics.
I just found out I got lied to and I actually passed the honors placement test.
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10 years old. Parents and teachers are full of bullshit.
When i changed careers in my early 30’s. I was in retail for over a decade, hated everything about it, but was too worried about finding a new job. Buddy of mine offers me a desk job, i take it and it changed my life for the better.
I realized after a week that i’ve been busting my ASS for years with nothing to show for it. My coworkers have been here for 1-4 decades and none of them leave.
If you find the right job and the right management, everything gets so much easier.
During college. Worked in IT and the biggest raise I could get from the CEO above my minimum wage pay was $1 per hour. Even with a friend we couldn’t afford to rent a place. Houses went from $300,000 to $1,000,000 over a few years while I was working there. That’s when I knew living in the city and having a house was off the tables. 20 years later I now live in an RV off grid in the middle of the desert. Own the land, own the freedom. (Plus the land was cheaper than 1 year of rent in the city)
Damn, that’s nice! Good for you! Checked your other posts, do you have any chickens yet?
Not yet, I do plan to get some. We have an incubator and some solar coop doors we found deals on. We have some free fencing from Craigslist. Eventually we will get everything and build a coop and chicken run.
Nice, keep rocking!
Was this people’s original plan? Why?
Around 32, when I started working for Blizzard Entertainment.
Probably my first career job, if I had to make a guess. I’m loaded with enough ADHD, and I think a pinch of autism to taste, to make it hard to not notice these things. It also means in general I can have a hard time being really in the moment but if it means that I can’t be as easily brainwashed well that’s ok by me.
It was probably also connected to the first time I had to pay proper bills. I’m fairly privileged so I had always assumed that people were paid decently because why wouldn’t they be? Woof, was that painful, but I try to make sure it’s the thieving execs problem and not mine.
I switched jobs and it started working again. So I’m still of the opinion that it can work in the right job. Sometimes you still have to go ask for more money directly, but sometimes it’s just handed to you.
If it doesn’t work out, you have a lot of extra experience to talk about in your next job interview.
And all this doesn’t usually apply in dead end jobs of course. This is when you’re actually on a career path.
