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Well, on my property it’s probably 70 million ants and just me. I’m doing the real work.
Anyone else have a mental image of the guy in John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness who says “pray for death” as his body falls apart into a pile of ants?
Where can I claim mine?
Just stick your bare hand in this bag and grab whatever you need. Did I mention that your share are all bullet ants?
Don’t listen to this guy. Stick your hand in MY bag. There’s no bullet ants in here. Just reach in, and grab the handle inside, and shake it to release the ants.
Yeah girl, shake it real hard! Just like that! Yeeeeaaaahhhhh…
I’ve got a mechanical device that will shake the ants out … I’ll just crank it up to 10,000 rpm so I can get my ants fast and be on my way … let me just adjust the carburetor so I pull start the engine to get started … HOLD STILL!!!
username checks out, wait does this work here?
Nope. Sorry. Nobody has any idea what you’re talking about. Like is the username buying something at a store or…!?
And there would be even more if it wasn’t for those damned kids!
Take the magnifying lens away from the kids.
Alright… So what the fuck am I supposed to do with 2.5m ants?
Citation needed.
I hope mine are fire ants!
All ants are fire yo
I must have killed at least 10 peoples worth of ants in my garden this year.
Explains why the ecosystem is collapsing.
But can they fuck up the environment the way we do? I don’t think so
“The average person has one Fallopian tube.” ―Bo Burnham
deleted by creator
I didn’t get any. :( Can someone share their extras? Redistribute fallopian tubes!
And <1 ball
Wait, really? How do I get mine?
Star by rubbing syrup all over yourself. Then lie down in the grass. Then start squirming around. Then roll around. What was the question?
I don’t know, but I need a cigarette. Hope it was good for you, too.
At an average weight of 2.5 mg per ant that’s 6.25 kg of ants per person or about the weight of a 6 month old human baby.
And I could beat the shit out of a 6 month old baby, so I think I’m fine.
I don’t think the average person could defend themselves against 2.5m ants. They could overthrow us at any moment.
Do I get prep time?
An indefinite amount. They could come for you today. They could come for you in 43 years. You’ll never know until you see the wave marching across your shoes.
All we have to do is get them going in a circle
But how many ants are there? […] “According to our estimates, the global ant population is 20 x 10¹⁵ – that is, 20 quadrillion animals. […]”
Divided by 8 billion yields the 2.5 million per person.
Here’s one from NPR too: https://www.npr.org/2022/09/21/1124216118/ants-number-study-quadrillion
Where are my personal ants?
Mike stole them
