It depends on if I owe anyone money or not.

my voicemail greeting is super fast, about 5 seconds. its just my first name and leave a message so the caller can actually leave one

Mine says if you’ve reached this message it means you’re not on my contacts list and you’ve been filtered. I’ll get to you when I check the message.

But everyone gets the message if I miss their call. It definitely helps reduce spam.

I don’t have voicemail set up. I haven’t called myself in a long time to check but I don’t get voicemail notifications on my phone. I hope its that way because I’ll never check it anyway. I don’t even know how.

I guess if I did do voicemail I’d make it sound like I answered the phone and can’t hear well for as long as it would allow. I don’t fully understand the telemarketing industry but an open call line is an open call line and I’ll be happy to waste something of theirs if they want to waste my time.

Most calls I get are spam, fruad or potentially dangerous so I do record a voicemail but I mirror my carrier default, just "You have reached the voice mail of phone # . I am unable to answer your call right now, please leave your message.

I only have one recorded voicemail for my work mobile phone telling people I am on leave and call the support line.

Several customers got confused when I answered the support line.

“Hello and thank you for calling. At the tone, please hang up and text me instead. Have a nice day.”

Mine says it doesn’t accept messages and to please text me if its important.

I had one client that caused that. He’d call after work hours and leave seemingly endless messages about nothing almost daily. So I let my mailbox fill up and changed my outgoing message. Its been close to 4 years and my mailbox is still full of his rambling.

I got mine based on inspiration from Voicemail: The Musical

I never listen to my voicemail, so I never bothered recording anything.

Default nothing fancy, I don’t give info to random phone calls

I’ve been meaning to record one that says, “Due to the high influx of fraudulent calls, I don’t answer numbers that I don’t have saved. If you fall into this category and would like me to respond, please leave a message or send a text.”

I added the sound of a disconnected land line to the beginning, a short pause, and then my voicemail message. Has done a pretty decent job of weeding out spam, scams, and impatient idiots.

For a long time my voicemail was “Hello?” followed by about a 5 second pause, and then an actual “this is $name you’ve got my voicemail, leave a message thank you”

People. fucking. hated that voicemail with a passion. my own parents would get got by it, and then after not calling me for a few months get got by it all over again

I had recruiters suggest I change it because it was “unprofessional”, which I didn’t because if you can’t laugh at a prank like that I wouldn’t want to work for you I feel like there were more good-natured recruiters that found it funny, and I’d like to think it helped set the tone for the interaction better because of it

it also worked well to filter out spam calls, my speech-to-text voicemail app would out the bots when the text of the recording started mid-sentence and didn’t stop the recorded spiel

more people than not enjoyed the mild prank, and I loved it as a conversation started when calling someone back

Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. At the tone, please hang up and send me a text.