No matter what, I cannot seem to adhere to unwritten rules for things. Everything has to be laid out step-by-step and clearly for me like I’m a robot or something. I hate it. I sometimes can’t process language of any kind, not even my own native English to the point where people think I’m a second language speaker.

I can’t fit in to any social media, it feels like, except my own communities. I got banned from Reddit once before making a new account and they didn’t even tell me why, I just didn’t stick to their rules and I don’t know exactly the threshold or what the unwritten rules are unless I’m given that super clearly.

I feel like a dumb, beat-up dog. I always have felt that way.

I never fit in at school either. When I talk and try to make friends, I should “mind my own business” and I’m too loud and talkative. When I don’t talk at all, I don’t get bullied but no one notices me and I’d rather have negative attention than no attention.

People say that I think it’s all about me, and whenever I try to find an outlet to express myself, I get called an attention-seeker by people. My therapist says I’m not a narcissist just because I want an outlet and attention, but other people would beg to differ.

Luckily, my friends are all neurodivergent as are my boyfriend and girlfriend who love me. My family doesn’t have views I agree with, but they love me too.

I only seem to fit in on my own communities I make, such as my Learn Norwegian community and my Small talk one in Norwegian (Småprat)

  • sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    4·
    12 hours ago

    Are you autistic? It can make it difficult to fit in if you’re not registering social archetypes or performing them in ways that help people “get” you in a glance. Sucks but generally people tend to decide how they feel about a person within 30 seconds of meeting them, usually shorter.

    Also, the only thing I’ve learned about Nordic culture is it can be kind of easy to be seen as self centered. Like apparently you generally don’t bring up money or finances casually because it implies things. You know, just little rules that must be easy to trip over. But being an attention-seeker there seems like one of the more transgressive kinds of ways to be perceived. You might be signaling something on accident.

    • Becky/Tricia@nord.pubOPEnglish
      4·
      12 hours ago

      Thanks. It’s cuz I talk about myself so much when I want an outlet for my emotions. And yep, I am autistic

      • sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyzEnglish
        4·
        12 hours ago

        That’ll do it. I hear they process a lot of emotions in complete silence, that would be kind of hard energy to try to match.

        I’ll sub to your com though 👍 I’m learning Norge on the side of another language and it could help my dad and I practice

          • sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyzEnglish
            4·
            12 hours ago

            OH! That really changes things. Americans are the most self centered people I know and usually become easily enamored with people who only talk about themselves. But we’re also pretty awful to autistic people. Yeah you might not even be breaking any social rules. I’m sorry, dude. Run, if you can

            • Becky/Tricia@nord.pubOPEnglish
              3·
              12 hours ago

              Thank you so much :) I try to be the best I can and I want to move to another country but I’m stuck with family and no job and they want me to stay in the USA