Only one time use.

Think of like world leaders, celebrities, ya know 😉. Are you gonna make them do some embarassing things, or illegal acts.

My answer:

spoiler

Take control of an NSA agent with access to the most powerful hacking tools, hack everyone’s phone, install a program that randomly have a popup at random intervals, the popup message says “I’m watching you”. This also tries to spread itself to any other phone it can connect to. Pure chaos 😈

Pretty sure I can do this in a minute, depending on how good the NSA tools are.

  • NineMileTower@lemmy.world
    382·
    13 days ago

    People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I’m going to control my boss and have him double my salary.

    • aramis87@fedia.io
      6·
      13 days ago

      Ooh - Jeff Bezos, and some way to irreversibly triple every non-executive Amazon worker/contractor’s pay, plus full healthcare. He can afford it and Amazon has enough direct and indirect workers that it’ll be felt throughout the country and the economy, and other companies will eventually be forced to compete, raising living standards for most people (and increasing tax revenue).

      End with a tweet supporting an inflation-linked living wage, Medicare for All, and UBI.

  • AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    281·
    13 days ago

    Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).

    • Uriel238 [all pronouns]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      3·
      12 days ago

      Oh that’s a good one. Get the pope to pass a bull offering everyone salvation, past, present, future, fictional, factual, human, animal, spirit.

      They’d reverse it quickly, but it would be too late. It happened.

      And because the Holy See has ecclesiastic jurisdiction (as we all learned in Dogma ) then it would totally count. Heaven for everyone.

      And if there are angels in Wisconsin cursed by God and breaking divine infallibility unmakes the universe (it doesn’t) then the world would end.

  • Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    21·
    12 days ago

    Okay, I’ve had a nice nap, so here’s the answer: I’d take over Putin’s body, demand the nearest person’s gun, and rid the world of him (Putin) once and for all.

  • slazer2au@lemmy.worldEnglish
    201·
    13 days ago

    Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.

    “After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social”

    Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
    18·
    12 days ago

    take over Trump on inauguration day just as he’s about to take the oath. claim the election was rigged in my favor by the Russians and everyone I know was in on it also that I’m (he) a Russian spy. call all magas mentally retarded and they should drink bleach to cleanse the world of their filth.

    finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

    • EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world
      3·
      9 days ago

      The best part of this would not be the act itself but the insane mental gymnastics that Americans would put themselves through to deny or justify it so as to result in, ultimately, no change at all.

      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
        2·
        12 days ago

        The human body is amazing and has limiters that stop one from pushing too hard.

        in times of great stress an individual can push past those limits.

        Every fiber of my soul would be screaming to get out of that sack of shit, even if it would blow out his ACL’s, I would ensure that fatass would at least get 10 good inches off the ground.

      • Stern@lemmy.world
        5·
        13 days ago

        Vance doesn’t have Trumps cult so he wouldn’t be able to get away with any sort of Trump stuff. He’d try of course, but deffo get a lot more pushback.

        • aramis87@fedia.io
          1·
          13 days ago

          Vance is an opportunist and would cheerfully go along with the Project 2025 folks in order to be their figurehead and grab a bunch of loot. And they’d be happy to have him as a figurehead, so long as he does what they tell him to.

    • stinerman [Ohio]@midwest.socialEnglish
      2·
      13 days ago

      The actual problem here is that it’s not clear when he will be near a gun to the point that someone could do that. You only have a minute. Is Trump within a minute’s range of a gun and would not be stopped by his security detail if he tried to use it?

      • Stern@lemmy.world
        2·
        13 days ago

        My thought process is: Turn to security guy, say, “gib gun plz, pres order”. Offhand I dunno if they’d comply, but worth a shot (see what i did there?)

  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.caEnglish
    8·
    13 days ago

    Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.

    If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he’ll have two young replacements in mind.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
    91·
    13 days ago

    The only people it would be ethical to use this on are those in permanent vegetative states… and myself.

    I think I’d opt for one minute of true self-control. Maybe I could overclock myself or something. Never know until you try.

    • j4k3@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      13 days ago

      Nice job of spotting the philosophical.

      I say doctors should have a way to do this with patients to deterministically diagnose a person, (with consent of course). I’d do that in a heartbeat with my chronic issues.