Wholesome one this time.

I played a club sport in college. Nothing fancy and I was a fine but not top-of-the-roster player. Several of us rode the city bus to practice every day.

There was often a woman on the same bus as us. She obviously had some mental and physical challenges. She would chat with other passengers at times, and eventually figured out many of us were teammates. She started getting into it, asking us who was the best player and if we were going to win “the big game”. (There was no “big game” ever upcoming, it was just a question she associated with sports and asked frequently). One time she brought her autograph book and asked us all to sign it.

When we did finally play in a “big game”, it got posted on YT. So I showed her a bit the next time we were on the bus together. She was pretty excited and asked for another round of autographs now that we were TV famous.

She never came to a game, I think a disruption like that to her routine might have been really hard on her, but it was fun having such a non-judgemental, joyous fan.

• Guy with his pants down furiously masturbating in the middle of rush hour. Caused a delay.
• Tweaker trying to grind on us til a BAMF lady with a tazer and a huge afro scared him off
• Two rival gangs threatening each other with guns. Police raided the train from both ends
• Masturbaters on the bus
• Delusional woman accusing everyone of touching her hair and trying to pick a fight
• Guy blowing off another guy in between moving train cars
• Subway surfers
• On the bus, guy kept saying “mmm gassy” while eating Chinese takeout and loudly farting

NYC is wild

Guy sets a bluetooth speaker down on a seat, and then proceeds to do a full gymnastic dance routine right there in the subway car. Plenty of “regular” dancing, but also handstands, hanging from the rails, spinning on the floor, walking on the walls, the works. All well-timed to the music.

Didn’t ask for money. Just got off at the next station. Dude just wanted to dance, I guess.

On a bus from El Paso to Phoenix someone smoked a joint in the bus bathroom and got dumped on the side of the highway immediately after.

Two hours later on that same bus trip the bus got raided by immigration and I got into an argument with the officer that wouldn’t accept my ACTIVE, UNEXPIRED Military ID as a valid form of ID and started yelling at me for my passport (I have a Spanish last name). I threw my passport at him and told him to fuck off before I got my command group involved with his. I don’t know how that worked but he got real quiet and left me alone immediately after that lol. There were several people that were pulled off of that bus that night. It was overall pretty shitty.

Young dude sitting waiting for a train flicking a bic lighter until it exploded in his hand.

Old lady fell off the platform between two cars while the train was still rolling. Had all the toes on one foot crushed and cut off. The sock was still intact so when we helped the conductor pull her back up it was just a bloody tube of sock with… stuff at the bottom.

Train stopped in the middle of nowhere after it hit a horse. The train won.

As I was preparing to get off the train, I heard the man next to me say “hublublublubluh”.

I looked over. He was lying down.

“hublublublubluh” he repeated, and this time I got to witness the exit of pints of beery vomit onto the floor.

The train stopped. The vomit rushed across the floor under other people’s feet and bags. As I got off I noticed the smell.

Really glad that was my stop.

I was reading a book on the train. A guy had the nerve to come up to me and ask me about the book I was reading.

I was taking the train to work and there was this homeless dude sitting there quietly scooping chocolate powder over his head.

Just using the little plastic scoop that comes in the can. Scoop, scoop, scoop.

He wasn’t hurting anyone, so I called it in to the transit authority when I got to my stop. On the one hand, I didn’t want anyone seeing a bunch of brown powder thinking we got anthraxed, at the same time, I didn’t want to be late for work. ;)

“Yeah, there’s a guy on the Westbound train quietly covering himself in chocolate powder.”

“What kind of chocolate powder?”

“. . . I dunno, Nestlé Quik? Does it matter?”

high speed train. a scrawny dude in a tracksuit asks someone when the train will stop. next station in 40 minutes, someone tells him. (there are only five stops and all in large cities) this reassures him for a while.

30 minutes to the city. dude stands up and asks when will the train stop. the same someone tells him that in half an hour, but this time he doesn’t chill out. he wants to get out, RIGHT NOW. dude gets increasingly more agitated and hovers around train door. he found a hammer somewhere and tried to break open glass in that door, but it’s reinforced so it doesn’t fall apart. at that point someone alerted train staff. he wants to get out, right now, and won’t through that hole. train got stopped shortly after, everyone in that car was moved out to others. other than that dude, that is, now without hammer, repeating I WANNA GET OUT

some of staff tries to pacify him, but it doesn’t work. border guard and some other uniformed officer, both on leave, tackle him and hold until railway security arrive. it took six of them to take that tracksuit dude out to ambulance. (he got to leave train) motherfucker caused 4h of delay for this train and many delays downstream

The bus driver watching loud porn on his phone and cheering them on loud enough for the whole bus to hear.

There are night busses in my city, and there are loads of wild stories but maybe my favorite is this wholesome one:

So friends were returning from pub with guitars (some jam night) and didn’t want to stop. Get to the bus and started playing again, few stops another guy with guitar gets on, joins them… So the trip went like all the people singing, players hops on and of on their stops and everyone have a good time returning from pubs.

When we did something like that on few hour long train ride some German girls really liked it, they didn’t understand a word but they clapped after each song.

Clipping their fingernails

Nails flew all over the train

Dude on the train runs a successful business selling plain white socks. See him hustling nearly every day.

Does a handjob under an umbrella count or is that too tame?

It was some memorable first impression of the Philippines though.

I did not expect the sheer amount of posts from Americans about mentally ill people or drug users. I taught this would get more vibes, like people moving weird furniture in trams, or people in weird costumes, or stuff like that.