During the Mexican-American War the US secretly bribed Alaska to sneak up behind Mexico and eat Mexico in one big gulp.
Then the US put Alaska in a box to quarantine it because it started to get sick. This is what you see illustrated on many maps because it was historically a very important moment to US geography.
Eventually Alaska got too nauseous, threw Mexico back up and crawled back on top of Canada.
What a lot of people don’t realize though is what made Alaska so sick wasn’t Mexico, it was that Alaska mistook Texas for part of Mexico and took both Mexico and Texas in one bite, and it was only the extreme toxicity of Texas that made Alaska so queasy.
Ultimately the plan of course backfired, Mexico was fine chilling inside Alaska (Alaskans and Mexicans had even taken to calling it “Mexicalaska”) and this upset the rest of the US and caused riots all over the country for weeks… and unfortunately for architects of the Alaska Ambush, Alaska was not big enough to dilute the corrosive bigotry of Texas in order for Alaska to keep it down permanently.
Bravo, I love this kind of ‘analogy taken too far’ creative writing =D
Perhaps not for this reason, but yes, we are stupid
And why didn’t they just call it the Gulf of Hawaii? That would’ve been a lot less controversial.
You could build this, but it would be a tunnel. Actually now I want to see that for real.
I understand that this is just a shitpost, but the scaling here is crazy 😆 Alaska is more than twice the size of Texas
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Now that you mention it, the projection is unusual. Is this the map they use in Texas to make it look bigger?
Mexlaska
(I hope I’m not giving him ideas)
Gulf of Alaska
The Straits of America!
Gulf of Hawaii, it’s right there
That would be a very long bridge, probably too long to biuld. Notice the size of lake Ponchartrain by New Orleans, which is 24 miles. This would be a bridge hundreds of miles long. It’s likely not feasible, sadly.
Not with that attitude! What has become of us? We used to do big things like put monkeys on the Empire State Building.
I’m glad I checked the comments because I was going to point out the same hypothetical issue lol
I was really hoping for this level of engineering pedantry and sensibility, thank you.
🫡
Because then they couldn’t sell their precious Alaskan cruises.
We tried. Canada kept getting in the way.
The Rockies did too
We wouldn’t have that problem if they would just voluntarily surrender their sovereignty and become the 51st state smh
...
Edit: hopefully I don’t need the /s but there it is anyway
Because there’s a country between the Mainland and Alaska. Any bridge would need to be negotiated with Mexico.
Because a bridge that long would be prohibitively expensive, gosh.
Yes. VERY. I have encountered three people in the wild who actually believe that Alaska is an island. The best time was when I was traveling with my kid and they said we were from Alaska to a group of people in an elevator. One of the kids in the elevator said “can you drive to Alaska?”. the mom told then her , “they can’t drive to Alaska because it’s an island! and that’s why there at the airport!” To which the DAD replied “ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS? WTF.” 
That was pretty good.
I’ve done that to my ex wife in public a couple of times.
I learned that someone being hot does not compensate for stupid.
Cuz the material is needed for THE WALL
Apparently they are, cause the people of New Mexico voted No on that
