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fossilesque@mander.xyz
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to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 7 months ago

Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

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Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

fossilesque@mander.xyz
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to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 7 months ago
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Matt, 41, from London had to cancel his holiday because of the injury
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  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Ok that is the most ridiculous explanation I have ever heard. Do you have to see your feet to know where they are? And how do large busted or pregnant women manage then?

    Oof it must suck to be hung that big though. No balls deep in anyone, ever, and careful sex only.

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Wait, you have busted and/or pregnant women watching your feet?

    • T156@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Do people even focus on their body parts that much on the day-to-day? It seems like something that you wouldn’t think about usually.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        7 months ago

        When you have a 37cm pénis that’s probably all you can think about.

        • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 months ago

          At that size, it better be paying the bills.

    • TisI@reddthat.com
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      7 months ago

      I promise it’s a real issue for women.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I have been pregnant but don’t remember falling down because I couldn’t see my feet! I do remember my belly knocking into doorways when I miscalculated though, since it keeps growing.

        • TisI@reddthat.com
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          7 months ago

          Oh don’t get me wrong. His excuse is absurd! Because you can move your feet in the shower if something is obstructing your view. My point was that yes having a body part that prevents you from seeing immediately below it can be a nuisance.

        • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 months ago

          Keeps?! How? They didn’t cover that in Sex Ed. 😶

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Well until the baby comes out, lol. The things I remember trying that were much harder with the constantly shifting weight distribution were roller skating and cartwheels. Bigger and bigger till the baby punches its way out of your abdomen (since in sex ed they probably didn’t cover that part either).

            But seriously, if women can handle that constant change in weight distribution, I am sure a guy with a massive schlong can handle having it without falling over. Unless it has a mind of its own and gets tangled around his legs or something.

  • JamesNZ@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Summary of the article. " By the way I have a massive cock, it is just huge, biggest in the world. Did I say about my massive unit? It is really big…oh I slipped in the shower and broke my arm,…but let’s get back to the massive third leg I have going on. ,"

    • wetsoggybread@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      “Oops, I dropped my magnum condom for my magnum dong”

      • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 months ago

        FWIW, that brand was specifically designed and marketed for average dicks to feel bigger. It’s their whole thing.

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          7 months ago

          It’s a product within a brand, but it actually is larger. You can look up the dimensions if you want.

          • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            7 months ago

            Not the “ummakshually” you thought it’d be.

    • 46_and_2@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      This dude has been in the news before, and again for some non-story, but thinly veiled trying to spread as much as possible exactly how long and thick his dong was. I mean good for him (or bad, many women’s vaginas won’t accommodate that), but he comes off as attention-seeker of the lowest order.

  • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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    7 months ago

    Funny story, but the size of my penis is why my balls always get wet when I pee.

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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      7 months ago

      Me too!

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Speaking of gargantuan penises.

    I swear to god in heaven that video is worth a minute of your time.

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Fuck that guy. He’s a gargantuan dick.

  • MrSulu@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    The world is full of men that can’t see their own feet in the shower!

  • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Broken arm you say?

    • El Barto@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      [x] One broken arm
      [ ] Second broken arm
      [ ] Mom

  • Pennomi@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    14.5 inches, what an absolute unit

    • bacon_pdp@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        In the Godfather novel, Sonny Corleone couldn’t have a decent sex life because of his gargantuan penis until he landed a woman with a deep vagina. I am not making this up.

        • misterdoctor@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Dong Corleone

  • JackLSauce@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    …independently measured at [37cm], and a cast of it has been included in a museum in Iceland.

    I have questions for Iceland; mostly about how to pronounce ð but we’ll get to that later

    • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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      Is that flacid or erect length?

      Edit: its erect length. When flacid, it was 25cm long

    • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Like a T, but slide your tongue forward a little so it’s against your teeth

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        7 months ago

        do you not have your tongue against the teeth when saying T?

        • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Not usually. “Not” has my tongue against the top of my mouth, just back from the base of the teeth. But if we’re talking about Lindt chocolate, that has your tongue against your teeth and you pull it back, making that sharp release of air. That’s the thorn sound.

    • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      uh, a 14er. Climbers everywhere, rejoice.

    • fossilesque@mander.xyz
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      7 months ago

      Th

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      7 months ago

      It’s pronounced like the “th” in “weather.”

    • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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      7 months ago

      a museum in Iceland

      a museum? when it comes to phalluses i believe it is the museum: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_Phallological_Museum

      • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 months ago

        Something tells me the author knew it didn’t need to be named. 😜

      • ButtDrugs@lemmy.zip
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        Sigh… https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2c/Matt_Barr%2C_World's_Largest_Penis_Cast_on_Display.jpg/500px-Matt_Barr%2C_World's_Largest_Penis_Cast_on_Display.jpg

    • fossilesque@mander.xyz
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      The fucked up pronunciation in Icelandic comes from when you put to Ls together, e.g. Eyjafjallajökull. It makes an almost click sound. You can hear it on the wiki below.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyjafjallajökull

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    Wow poor guy is probably going to get a lot of sympathy cards. Must be awful.

    • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I can all but guarantee most women run away at the sight of it.

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        7 months ago

        i mean you don’t have to put it in, i’m sure plenty of women would still have lots of fun in other ways.

        • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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          That’s on them.

      • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        And the ones that don’t, he’s running from.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    My gf and her best friend and I were at a cafe in high school. Best friend’s bf was packing serious heat, and everyone knew it, kind of a school joke.

    Gf: “OK. Seriously. How big is it?”

    Her friend slaps a full can of AquaNet Extra Super Hold (in the pink can) on the table. (It was the 80s! Not like we had a banana for scale.)

    “I… I’m not sure, not sure… I believe that… um…”

    Gf: “How?!”

    Best friend: “No idea, but it fits.”

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Hol’up. When were bananas invented, then?

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    OMG it’s real

  • celeste@kbin.earth
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    7 months ago

    this guy gets a burn cooking and he’s like “must’ve been because of my enormous penis” trips on the stairs “dick got caught in the spindles it’s so big” gets sleep apnea “my giant schlong wraps itself around my throat when I’m sleeping”

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      It’s just curious.

    • Bunbury@feddit.nl
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      I mean, to be fair… it must be pretty annoying. Chances are he’s not compatible size wise with 99.99% of women. Probably even jerking off is a massive workout. Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood. Seriously… when you’re this far out of the normal range I recon attention is the main positive thing that comes out of the situation (at least for people who like attention). Everything else just seems needlessly difficult.

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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        No one heard about outercourse. There’s plenty of women that would just…why am I explaining this.

        • Bunbury@feddit.nl
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          I mean, yes there are other ways to be intimate with each other than penetration. However as far as I can tell a lot of men are very attached to the idea of penetration when it comes to sex. I would assume it would feel quite debilitating not to have the option when you really want to have the option. Then again what do I know. I am missing the necessary parts to know what any of that feels like from the male side.

          • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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            7 months ago

            can confirm it’d be low-key existentially horrifying to not be able to plug it in, it’s not just that it feels good but it’s the… symbolic? aspect of it, for me. Like a hug but you can do it while also embracing each other, hell yeah.

          • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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            7 months ago

            Yeah sure. Just find an open-minded man, and give him a prostate massage. And before you know it, he will be whimpering like a bitch. So so many ways. It’s a culture issue.

      • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
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        Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood.

        There was an interview with someone who has a record sized penis, and one of the funniest yet saddest moments was him and his wife talking about how she has to be careful and ‘manage’ his erection during sexual activities so he wouldn’t pass out.

        I think I would go get a medical license of some kind and solicit blood donations from friends just so I could pump my blood pressure up to avoid that.

        • Bunbury@feddit.nl
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          Yeah, I might have seen the same interview. I just didn’t want to put the relevant words into a search engine to figure out specifically what I was vaguely remembering.

  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Lol his face in that pic says it all

    • winkly@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      “signature look of superiority”

  • darthinvidious@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    WTS Dubs has entered the chat.

  • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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    7 months ago

    Article doesn’t load. It’s just a blank page

    • fossilesque@mander.xyz
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      7 months ago

      Alt links

      https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-left-broken-arm-because-10421316

      https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-worlds-largest-penis-seriously-35728280

      • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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        Thanks. Those both load fine

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