Which one’s the seat warmer?
Keep plane in sky, above the ground (unless you meant to), check!✈️
Do a barrel roll!
Or simply aim at the ground and miss :-P
Just don’t learn flying from Colonel Stuart (Die Hard 2).
Learn from this guy.
Pff.
Just caption an Airbus. Assuming you’re in flight, you just need the buttons to engage cat III auto landing, make wings bigger, make wheels stick out, and brakes after you land.
Hopefully just activate ILS. There’s no way you wouldn’t be diverted to an airport that doesn’t require a Cat III landing, even a IIIA is stupid dangerous for a trained crew. iirc you only have a 1-2 second correction window for any Cat III landing where the ILS cuts out, compared to something like 8-10 for a Cat I (which is plenty of time for an amateur that’s been coached on the procedure to do a missed landing then give it back to the autopilot, that’s super easy). Plus the number of airports that can even do just a Cat II at least used to be pretty low (150 in the US?), and Cat III rated airports are even fewer (I dont think there’s double digits that can do a IIIB, and afaik there’s still none in the world rated for IIIC…)
(edit: came off more aggro than I meant, changed wording so I sound like less of a dick!)
I like your funny words, flying person. Keep 'em coming.
Super important to know where the radio is, cause I’m gonna want to listen to some nice chill songs while I soar through the air towards certain death cause I don’t know how to fly a plane but the guy behind me kept kicking my chair so I yelled “If you don’t stop kicking my chair, I swear to god, I am turning this plane around!” and he didn’t stop so I had to do it to save face.
Where is the AI button?
Ask the copilot.
Here, take this: 🍪
He says he’s got Cursory knowledge.
Music is my aeroplane.
It’s my aeroplane.
Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
And music is my aeroplane,
It’s my aeroplane.
What does “make wings bigger” actually do?
Extends the flaps, i.e. makes the chord of the wing longer making it able to be more effective at lower airspeed. (takeoff and landing).
The flaps are retracted at cruise to make the wing more efficient at cruise.
Is it separate from the ailerons?
Ailerons are for imparting roll.
Flaps and slats are not for steeringI believe the ailerons are on the outside half of the wing, and the flaps are on the inside half (toward the fuselage)
Removed by mod
If it’s a newer 737, it is already a very expensive wreck.
You know what? You’re absolutely right.
People: please leave flying 737s to trained experts with the know-how, FAA licensure, and medical clearance. They know better than you even if you think you can do it from a meme.
It’s very important that you not touch ANY of the buttons and dials on a 737. People could get hurt or even die if you do.
You just saved countless lives by clarifying this🙏🙏🙏 (i was about to steal one)
Chill, it’s just a shitpost.
BTW, a regular person can likely fly and land a 737 with some basic ATC instructions, there have been multiple experiments demonstrating this (in a simulator). A guide like this would be immensely helpful in that situation.
Set autopilot to fly approach -> activate ILS. Besides the radio there’s essentially no other controls you would need to touch in an emergency (landing gear (if not handled by ILS), autobrake, engine stop, parking brake, door controls), and it’s very easy (by design) for the tower to talk you through the settings to do that. This meme is more than enough to familiarize you with the basic control locations in case you need to make an adjustment based off tower instructions, but at the same time buddy chill TF out it’s a meme.
(note that realistically it would never be you-a-passenger doing this, it’d be one of the cabin crew)
thank
Me flipping on reverse thrust and parking brake before touching the ground in FSX because I’m like 100 kts above the landing speed
Instructions unclear, I’ve pulled and turned the red thingies with “1” and “2” and “APU” written on them, now it says “Airspeed low” and the the steering wheel is shaking. What do I do now, please send instructions urgently.
Ok, first take a deep breath and calm down. Airspeed low is a good thing, you need to take this slowly! If the shaking of the steering wheel bugs you too much, they are adjustable, you just need to push it away from you.
Now one of the biggest dangers to planes flown randomly around the sky is other planes, so you need to get on the radio with air traffic control and request permission to crash and they can give you a clear vector from your current position to a suitable crash site.
If you’re lucky, there will be a nearby deserted island, in which case surviving the crash will make a much more interesting story than a plane crashing on a deserted island and everyone dying (or maybe the island will be purgatory or something and you really did die, or maybe purgatory will be a version where you didn’t crash… Be prepared to be very confused, especially since you won’t get to see any of the flashbacks that gives context to everyone who will lie about everything, even stupid shit like miraculously being able to walk again or other things that would be cool to talk about).
Oh, that is unless you’re one of the few adults on a plane full of kids, in which case, sorry, you’re fucked.
Push it.
Twist it.
Bop it.
I’m about to have dinner, but I’ll be back as soon as I’m done, I swearsies
Soon there are self flying AI Airplanes
I know how to drive sick. I got this. /s
Dejavu theme intensifies
All I need is “Danger Zone” playing and some aviator sunglasses.
If it has autopilot and autobrakes, surely all those other buttons aren’t needed?
They are needed, and don’t call me Shirley.
