I wish CBS did this.
This graphic came from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert so, technically they did :)
That pie is missing the “comitting war crimes” slice
How does he have the extra time to leak investigations? I barely can get to my cider drink before bedtime
See, this is why he’s in charge of the greatest military the world has ever known. He can multitask! Only the best people!
He drinks a drink to remind him of the OpSec
He drinks a drink to remind him of the Oops Sec
Something something triple sec
The answer was a Hegseth Margarita®!
4oz tequila
0oz Opsec
1oz Limejuice
1oz syrup
20oz Donnie Cum
He just falls down
He can’t get up again
Gotta add a portion for taking a leak after all the drinks, and another for leaking things via Signal.
What leaks do you think he’s investigating?
The random ones that appear in his pants. He still hasn’t found the culprit tho.
leaking the night away
leaking the niiiiiight away
he drinks two drinks in the morning he drinks two drinks at night he drinks two drinks in the afternoon it makes him feel alt-right
He drinks two drinks in times of peace, and two in time of war. He drinks two drinks before he drinks two drinks, and then he drinks two more.
He needs drink in the morning,
He needs drink in the evening,
Every day of the we-ee-eek give him liquor
He don’t care if it’s rainin’, don’t care if it’s snowin’
Long as there’s a bottle standin’ there showin’
Oh he needs drink always, can’t go a single day
If he ain’t riding high, then honey, he just can’t stay,
He needs drink always, from the sunset to the dawn
If you ain’t got a big ole’ flask, boy, just move along
10/10, thank you
the late show
He sings the songs that remind him of the Signal chat.
He sings songs that remind of the murderin’
Ohhh hegsyboy, hegsyboyyy
He slurps one down, then fills it up again
Where’s “accidentally group chatting state secrets to randos?”
There should be 2 circles, as he’s always doing both at the same time.
And seeing double
🎶He blows up boats,
And the survivors too
While he drinks that whiskey down
He chats on apps
That are insecure
And he’ll never be held to account🎶
