She clearly doesn’t know how to talk to men either.
If all you text is “hey” to a woman as a first message, you can be sure 99.9% percent of them won’t even respond.
At least he tried and gave her a compliment.
YoU hAvE tO rEaD bEtWeEn tHe LiNeS Or sOmE sHiT - her probably
Same bro same
bumble was designed so women could message first.
the messages: “hey”
bumble was designed so women could message first.
Not anymore if what I’ve read is correct.
Women are people so you talk to them how you would talk to another person
I don’t know how to talk to another person either.
That’s fair
Dont worry, here on the internet everyone is a dog using the humans internet whole they are gone to work.
Yall are dogs to, right?
ARF.
Talking to women and talking to women you want to date are slightly different things tbh. The latter doesn’t necessarily come naturally for all.
And online, it gets even harder oftentimes. Creating a captivating conversation out of an empty bio, two generic photos and a name? That’s still damn difficult for me and I’ve been on tinder for like 4 years out of the last 8. Obviously it’s easier if the conversational partner throws you a bone. OOP didn’t exactly have a great opener to begin with and then was given a “tyyy”. Try riffing on that. Good luck. I can see why OOP gave up on the conversation.
Online “dating” sucks. I’m sure women have their own reasons why it sucks (safety in particular), but for men it sucks because generally speaking, you’re expected to prove yourself as an interesting conversational partner within 2-3 messages. Even on Bumble it’s the same, as seen in the screenshot. Women have to write first there, but usually it’s just “hi” or an emoji.
So I also don’t know how to talk to women. I have female friends. I’m not an incel, I’ve had a couple of long-term relationships and some, eh, situationships I guess? Even some with people I met on dating apps. Meet me in person? We’re staying awake talking until 5 AM. Actually give me something to riff about in your bio or at least reply to me with more than one word? We’re at the very least going to have a fun conversation, maybe meet in real life. But give me an empty bio and one word replies? I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to talk to you.
An empty bio and one-word replies sounds like someone who’s not worth talking to. I don’t think that’s your failure.
That’s half the girls on Tinder sadly. I tend to swipe most of the empty bios left and lately just abandon the conversation if the other half doesn’t seem interested or interesting enough to at least reply with something creative too.
But that’s just the reality of online “dating”. It’s a numbers game and heavily in favour of women. As someone once said, men are looking for drinking water in the desert, while women are looking for it in the ocean. Sucks for everyone, just in different ways.
I did, end result was someone actually contacts me for a date, but I just…don’t feel anything, so I just end up talking to hear her life story, and nothing actually happens.
I will be single for life 🥲
But that’s ok! I don’t want to drag anyone into a relationship with a miserable person who does not want to live anyway (hence, relationships are last place).
I’m feeling like a lot of people relate to this these days unfortunately
“I took a mad shit today, it smelt acidic bro, even after I flushed, it stuck to the side of the bowel. I used my kegel muscles to piss at Mach 10 speed, but all it really did it spray a bit of piss on the toilet seat. So anyway how you doing, are you free to catch up for a coffee?”
I’m sure there’s someone out there for you but generally unfiltered honesty increases after a relationship has been established. You probably wouldn’t start a conversation with this when meeting anyone new but if you would I’m sure someone like that is out there there’s a lot of weirdos out there
this explains so much about my life and my oddly shaped churo penis.
Care to elaborate over a coffee?
sure, churos taste great with good coffee.
Ok but like. Dating and flirting talk is different from normal talk. More giggly, more vibes. Some people can’t do that for shit
There’s a lot of women who can’t do that either. It’s not a movie and a lot of us have the same executive functioning disorders that make this confusing. I think people need to find someone who connects with them so pretending to be someone else is a bad strategy
I think people need to find someone who connects with them
I get very connected to the randos on grindr.
That’s almost impossible to do over text.
Almost.
So I talk to them how I talk to my friends with a lot more enthusiastism.
That ends up where I start just turning into an essay writer and I have overwhelmed at 6 in the past year.
So maybe not normal talk either.
I’m so bad at flirting over text. I can do it irl somewhat once the first bit of convo gets jumpstarted but mannn dating apps kill me. I get far more people down to hang in person then ever from a dating app.
Women are literally just people. Talk to them like you talk to other people.
But are they men? Have you seen gay dudes flirting? It ain’t the same. Sure, they’re people, what else would we all be? But they’re distinctively different from men.
they’re distinctively different from men.
They’re really not. Every person is different from every other person, but a woman is still just a person. And most people aren’t comfortable being treated like they’re different.
Be friendly and most people will also be friendly.
I mean on a base level of course you are right. But seriously? Men and women are very different when it comes to a crap ton of things.
I have many friends who are women, and a wife who is a woman, and none of them are significantly different for me to talk to than men. I don’t know what to tell you.
Sure there are cultural differences. Men are more likely to discuss some topics than women are, and vice versa. And there are stereotypical differences like women being more open with their feelings (though I’ve always been pretty open about my own as a man). We assign plenty of interests to specific genders, but there are always those who cross those lines.
I’ve always found that treating women essentially the same way I treat men has worked just fine.
My wife is a woman too and most of my friends are women too and, unless you’re surrounded by masculine women or are yourself a feminine man, people’s tendencies, things they’ll tolerate and preferences are largely defined down sex lines, with small variations. Not that this matters, but saying “be nice, people are people” is both true and foundational and also completely useless to any straight dude trying to escape loneliness, lol.
Yeah but I’m not looking to impress most people unlike my crushes
Okay great, good stuff… Any tips for talking to other people?
Practice. Conversation is a skill like any other, you won’t be good at it until you work at it.
“Practice; but not like that.”
One dick pic coming up. Works on grindr. Dont worry, I always ask first.
Do they send u one too? Did either of you say, “Ty, but no thanks I don’t like the look of it?”
Sometimes, or an ass pic. Depends on context.
That’s the problem
The issue isn’t talking to women. The issue is talking to people you are attracted to.
I’m bi but I’m not attracted everyone. And I can tell you it takes a lot more from me to talk to someone I’m attracted to and I don’t think I could easily just be normal friends with someone I badly want to fuck and just have normal conversations with them.
That guy is a keeper! Lock him down and he’ll be loyal for life! He doesn’t even know how to talk to other women!!
Makes family dinners with his own mom really awkward though.
The most lesbian thing I have seen today.
As a straight dude, I know lots of straight dudes that are represented in this picture.
We all have our little problems. ❤️
…she even…she even opened
Only used one word sentences though.
It is bumble. She has to start.
They changed that. Now no one texts ever.
It is from 2023. I don’t know when they changed what. But the last time I used it, women had to start the conversation but they could set a question to ask automatically, skipping the first message
Bumble was like “what a cool idea, I wonder why no one has done this before” and then they found out why
My experience was, about half just let the match time out, and most of the remaining half opened with something like “hey.”, or that gif of Monica from friends waving at you.
Also, a decent chunk of people had profiles on Tinder as well.
PSA: “tyyy” - thanks, ya yella yutz.
Such language. Tsk.
The next generation of young men is going to be a split of lonely, sad boys and andrew tate wannabes lmao.
It’s kinda funny but also pretty damn sad.
You think the Andrew Tate men arent lonely and sad?
Nah, you will have a bunch of those sad lonely assholes that want to be like tate. And you will have normal people with empathy that get most of the girls.
The manospehere is self-defeating. They can only get additional members by preying on sad loners with no experience in women. Once they do get experience (if ever), they quickly realize how much they got lied to, or they will lose the women that got them their experience in the first place.
And you will have normal people with empathy that get most of the girls.
I think that isn’t entirely true. Because there isn’t just a manosphere, there is also a “womanosphere” who seems to be hell-bent on exploiting men. Like, there’s a huge amount of clips of woman saying that men that don’t earn enough/are not tall enough/don’t pay everything/etc are useless. This entire situation isn’t only the fault of andrew tate and other wannabe-“alphas” - barely any situation ever is the fault of a single party - but it’s basically “teamwork” between those two really toxic bubbles and all the normal people are basically caught in the crossfire.
omg damn that’s me. i ended up sending a shitpost meme/pic of my dinner to a female co-student. still waiting for her response.
If I learned anything from the internet she’s basically your wife now. Start collecting pieces of string and straw because you’re gonna be building a nest soon!
i hope xD
An unsolicited photo of something random might not be something everyone responds to. I wouldn’t necessarily send a response.
So if she doesn’t respond, it doesn’t definitively mean she doesn’t want to talk to you. Maybe try again with something that actually indicates that you’re looking for a response. Like … ask a question about something you know you have in common.
Did you finish the reading for class? I think the part about ABC could be interpreted to apply to XYZ. What do you think?
You said you like comedians. Have you seen the new Marcello Hernandez special on Netflix?
Make it something that could turn into an actual conversation if she answers you.
yeah yeah i know, we’ll see, i’ll update you tomorrow
As a cishet man who isn’t passionate about hyping himself up and gets burnt out socially easily…
No one on dating apps is worth the effort required to overcome the illusion of comparison. We don’t know you and we’re not going become infatuated over what you can put in a profile. At most our interest will be piqued, but we know we have to compete with HUNDREDS of other dudes and …ehhhhh.
To put it another way if I was at a party and there was a beautiful girl surrounded by 10 to 20 dudes I wouldn’t even bother and instead try to have fun and talk to people I found interesting. But with dating apps pretty much every girl is always surrounded by guys like that trying too hard and the same guys are surrounding as many girls as possible since online they are not limited by the physics of space online.
The apps are literally designed to keep you single
Worked just fine for me.
Feel free to ask for advice or whatever.
I used to think this. Then I went on some dates, I made connections, etc.
But only once I started paying. The apps are built to maximize profit.
Hinge > Boo > Tinder > Bumble.
Most apps are owned by like 2 companies really
Yeah and they all suck as a result.
I keep meaning to have a proper look into it and see if there are any actual dating site / apps that are independent. It’s a massive pain because usually you can’t really tell if an app is going to be any good or if it’s just another clone until after you’ve already signed up. It’s quite the time investment.
Yea most of them suck
I tried Lovetastic and liked the fact that they don’t use pictures and it’s mostly based on text
They don’t seem to have advanced algorithms that are here to fuck you
But hey, I met my SO on a relatively niche but non ethical dating app. It was filed with ads and badly optimized but I figured out the algorithm wouldn’t be all ELO type of shit, and it worked after some time
This is exactly how it works - I became single after 13 years and so had no previous experience with dating apps, so I decided to go all in and get one month’s subscription to Hinge, Bumble and Grindr. Before the end of the month I was concurrently dating five people (four women and one man) as a bi man in his thirties. Shit was pretty cash.
A lot of people asked me why I was so successful and I told them it’s because I paid for the subscriptions. For what ended up amounting to around $100AUD I got to date a bunch of people, had some great dates and great sex, and one of those five people is now my long term partner with whom I’m living. She was one of the ‘top recommended’ people on Hinge and the algorithm really got it right!
YMMV but paying for the apps actually provides quite a good service.
Ok well, I haven’t had that kind of success. But success none the less.
The issue here, beside being a sample of one is that you immediately paid so other factors could be in play.
I think people’s biggest fear with paying for the apps is that they’ll end up in a situation where they are just throwing good money after bad and not getting anything for it. Then you get into the sunk cost fallacy and it’s really difficult to get yourself out of that headspace.
The problem is the apps say that they have recommendations that you only have to pay to unlock but I don’t believe them.
While yes, that is the case, I cannot help but feel it’s not the app’s fault this time
The Algorithm used to match people isn’t designed to encourage healthy and normal conversations. It’s designed to encourage people to spend more time on the apps (and, eventually, more money).
While yes, that is the case, I cannot help but feel it’s not the app’s fault this time
yeah we need sth like fediverse dating services tbh
Dating concerns of the modern era: “Now, how do I make it clear I’m not a murderer without looking like a murderer 🤔 .”
Pose with a bloody Axe in front of a Maserati or so. Does wonders 😁
