- cross-posted to:
- lemmydirectory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- wizards@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- lemmydirectory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- wizards@lemmy.world
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I would love a fully functional self powered Star Trek industrial replicator (pre-programmed)… oh, and while you’re at it, if you could tweak my brain to do the dopamine thing in a healthy way, I’d appreciate it, but fully understand if that’s too much of an ask.
You are now the proud owner of a fully-functional/powered industrial replicator (as seen in Star Trek). The replicator requires a massive energy input which is supplied by its own matter-antimatter reactors. There are numerous built-in safety and ethical protocols, including an inability to replicate functional weapons. The government has detected that you have this technology, and would like to ask you a few questions:
As long as the replicator works, I’d call that a win and sort out the rest in a classic Star Trek hairbrained way.
Everybody’s got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.
I would like sanity to be part of our country again. Too big an ask?
Sanity is a part of the country again but does not prevail against opposing forces:
monkeys paw curls
Granted. Fascist authoritarianism are now the norm and are considered “sane” by the majority of the world
I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.
Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:
You say butt hair, I say fart suppressor.
Some spaghetti please!
Order up! In front of you, there is a plate of blood-red spaghetti. It is the Japanese “Spaghetti Naporitan”, which heavily features ketchup:
On the internet, no one will know you’ve been turned into spaghetti.
Complete obliviation.
Sure, you are now the owner (of a copy) of the “Rex Nihilio” album from Massachusetts death metal/deathcore band “Obliviation”.
A little rough around the edges, but solid stuff, no complaints. Really not bad for a monkey paw thing.
best boyscout troop ever
24 of the best boyscouts in history form. Camping, knot-tying, and team building exercises ensue. You aren’t associated with them, but know they exist and grow up to be upstanding citizens.
Ohhh what sad times are these when passing
ruffianswizards can corrupt even the most mundane and reasonable wishes. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who tire of this mortal coil are under considerable physical, mental, and socioeconomic stress at this period in history.
I’d like a pleasant surprise that has no negative consequences whatsoever.
Done. 152 Visual Phenomena & Optical Illusions with explanations by Michael Bach: https://michaelbach.de/ot/
Neat, thank you!
The Combine off Earth. I want the Combine off Earth!
Half-Life 3 Confirmed:
Wow, the other guy told me that was too large a nudge! Thanks, balderdash!
Greater empathy is everyone’s ultimate goal, rather than wealth, fame, sexual conquests, etc.
In a flash, everyone’s prime directive is empathy. Our modern systems of government based on greed and sex drive crumble away. In its place rises the Feelings Bureaucracy; a dictatorial government in which social offenses, inflicted on the unified society of empathic feelers, is punished severely. The fastest way to deal with bad actors to ensure they do not make others feel bad is to execute them. In response, the world develops a culture of putting another’s needs before one’s own, or else:
Sounds like what chuds think the world is already like
You might enjoy this podcast
Thank you. That was very interesting!
100 tacos for $100 deal at the local shack
The printers at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing run wild printing money; the Federal Reserve distributes the money across the country. Hyperinflation like the United States has never seen drives the prices of goods and services up 90%. The $100 tacos now cost $1000. You may still choose to purchase them, however:
90% of $100 is $90. So the tacos are $190, or $1.90 each. Still a solid deal.
I mean to say that the tacos were $100 (wish granted) but the economy then inflated and changed all the prices. Still, the tacos are available and we continue living in a society that uses dollars so it could be worse.
No backsies, genie! You stated the terms and I’m gorging myself on sub-$2 tacos.
Well I have never had a girlfriend before. And I would really like to have one. So, how about that?
You now have a fully conscious virtual girlfriend in your phone:
If I break my phone, will it kill her? Because I had a little accident just now…
Her memory is not tied to the cloud. So, in one sense, yes…
I want to win a multimillion Euro lottery jackpot soon. Many thanks.
You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers “8 15 26 33 41 9 10”. These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have “won” against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:
In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler
From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.
This fucking house to close. Jesus, just get done already.
Granted. All of the doors and windows of the house close, simultaneously.
Happiness
I wanna be my fursona.
You and your fursona are now one. Big hit in the furry community; everyone is visibly scared. You also have the dietary restrictions that your fursona has:
![Everybody gets one [choose wisely]](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp){kind=link}