if i fill her in will she respectfully become my gf ?
No, for that you have to fill her up.
Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈
The sad thing is that some people will take this advice.
What’s sad about learning something new and getting laid?
I sincerely hope you’re /s ing.
Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.
Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.
Hi. Welcome to the Internet.
Have a look around 🎶
Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.
Certainly, m’lady!
And some woman will have a good laugh and a narrow escape
We all know that won’t work. Try this instead.
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
Wait, all opiods? If so does that man that heroin addicts could have a few slices of cheese and use less smack? Gotta have the healthier option, ya know
A heroin addict is taking way more opioids than he would make endogenously from eating a piece of cheese. Cheese contains tryptophan, an amino acid that is a precursor to serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation. It also contains tyrosine, which is a precursor to dopamine, another neurotransmitter involved in pleasure and reward. Additionally, cheese is high in fat, which can stimulate the release of endorphins, hormones that have mood-boosting effects. Cheese contains many ingredients that activates at least 3 signaling pathways involved in boosting mood.
I read that as “a slice of milk” and like. Technically yeah it’s not wrong
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!
Bitches love cheddar
Fascinating
🖖
also: username checks out
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I’m single again.
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.
“Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are.”
Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.
no wonder it didn’t work, that’s not even cheese
Nilered did a video on this, it’s technically at least cheese-adjacent
i mean, so is grass
It’s cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It’s essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.
But why would you?
Road trip nachos. The cheese only melts when you get into Death Valley.
He failed though. Arrest him, and bring me someone taller.
Edit: or better at jump shots.
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they’re ovulating.
The cheese is under my foreskin
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it’s given me are shouting matches
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?
So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.
From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?
It’s called a fromagerie, pleb
Wherever.
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can’t believe. 10/10 mom and person.
This made me cry.
Ha. She’s one worth crying over. Lost her in April, and I don’t know that I’ll recover. Hug your loved ones. ♥️
But I will tell you, she taught me how to steal fantastic cheeses, and we never went hungry again. Haha.
That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women’s shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.
That sounds like Strong Bad’s alter ego.
The Cheat is vacuuming.
The Cheat is ovulating.
No relation.
Damn I guess I’ve never ovulated in my life
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.
Why, thank you, I’ve just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.
Pretty sure that’s my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.
Madam, my compliments to your ovaries 🎩💪🏼🥚🙇
I do all the vacuuming here.
Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as “incel drivel” and thrown into the fire.
Username is definitely relevant. :)
I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.
Have a good day.
Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know anything about women to dispute it.
Suckers gonna suck
This has to be satire.
I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they’re in before commenting
You can’t really expect consciousness from straight cis men.
A bit of sexism, wouldn’t be funny otherwise, right?
Yeah thats absolutely what that is. You’re so good at reading.
I understand the user is using this as a shitpost but that doesn’t mean the original content was for sure satire. It could also just be written by an idiot. Shitposts and idiot generated content are not mutually exclusive.
I thought so too until I went to the website and I still couldn’t tell :/
There’s lots of really fucking stupid people out there so who knows.
It’s not. This has worked on me four times.
There’s no way that last sentence especially isn’t satire
It’s not. It’s from 2008 and the site is still posting weird shit now.
Here’s an archive of this particular tip, the others are cringe too. So are the comments
Edit: there was a dating tips newsletter too
“No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!”
Poe’s law
Feels like an example of crabs in a bucket
Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed
You’re right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.
Can confirm, was stabbed.
