- cross-posted to:
- civil_religion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- cross-posted to:
- civil_religion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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Calling it now, once Trump finds out this exists, he’ll do something to try and supersede that to put him at the top.
Maybe a 6 star general with the pips arranged like a Star of David.
US Presidents are literally thenCommander in Chief (the highest ranking military position).
The beautiful thing is: Washington was literally the 1st President, so nothing Trump does or says can change that.
~Albeit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried. #gulfofmexico4ever~
Just post-date his first presidency to be before Washington
Well, he does want to be first king
if anything would bring the OG GW back, it would be that.
Monkey’s Paw: Granted. But the people will quickly rise up and overthrow him and subject him to the guillotine.
That’s how you invoke the ire of Zombie Elvis.
this tradition stems for Washington holding a general rank in the British military before rebellion, and the US traditionally never having a rank higher than the one he held in the British military, so when we actually did need those ranks because practicality, they just bumped him up.
Do zombies follow rules of engagement and chain of command?
Usual US militarism
Chat, is this real?
Yeah. We’re just really grateful he got us an ohio
Holy shit George Washington would hate this policy. He was done being commander in chief! That’s why he stepped down after 2 terms! I get it’s symbolic, but his whole thing regarding the office was “don’t deify me.”
Which makes The Apotheosis of Washington pretty ironic. Beautiful, though.
Which would really explain why he might come back as a zombie. The rage just builds until he pops up out of his grave and shouts, “DID I STUTTER?”
And then after he says that, he turns slightly and says, “not that there’s anything bad or wrong about people who struggle with their speech. What I’m saying is, IF YOU HAD TROUBLE HEARING ME, YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME AS MUCH IN 1799!”
“…You named how many cities after me?!”
“…The Capital?!”
“…And also an entire state?!?”
“Nope, you know what, fine. I am a god. And I am vengeful.”
Bew Pest.
Counterpoint. These are military titles and not presidential ones. When Washington left office he wanted his official formal title to return to General and not President. Meaning he would be more okay with this.
Phony AF. Dude lived as a god among the people he enslaved.
That means the military is still run by enslaver trash. Still worships enslaver trash. No surprise we live in a fascist hellscape.
North Korea does something similar. America needs to get over the founding fathers and progress as a country.
They actually ignore history and background behind the founding of their country and how it isn’t so grandiose.
But, the propaganda is so ingrained, it’s literally tied to their personalities. And then they force it on every social platforms (because they own major platforms) and pretend their patriotism is different from the ones in North Korea and China.
It’s SAD
That sounds just weird as hell
Cripes. Wait until the demented rapist hears that. New EO incoming.
“No kings”
Just generals
only a necromancer would be able ressurect george washington.
Only a necro-romancer would be able to lay him back to rest.
“Dearest Zombie Martha: Winter at Valley Forge is exceedingly desperate. The harsh wind whistles through the men’s exposed rib cages, and our supply of brains is running low.”
That’s probably America’s greatest defence against zombies. Any outbreak will starve to death in short order.
Well, that and any zombie who eats one of us will likely get taken down by a combination of measles, mumps, chicken pox, COVID, and high cholesterol as well.
A reanimated body couldn’t be worse at governing than our current administration.
I’m not sure that replacing a racist with a literal enslaver would be much of an improvement.
Zombie Washington probably wouldn’t/ couldn’t rape children, so yes. I’ll give it to you.
Pretty sure Washington oversaw the rape of many many slaves, assuming he didn’t participate himself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington_and_slavery#Interracial_sexual_relations
Your phrasing there is intentionally misleading.
The wiki you link discusses 20 people of obviously mixed race, with half? of those likely parentages seeming coercive. ‘Many many’ sounds like dozens.
I guess you mean that the number is rapes likely far exceeds the number of people conceived from rapes? The wiki also mentions guests expecting sexual gratification from slaves, but not whether or not those expectations were met. “Overseeing” any activity, kind of implies you’re managing said activity, seeing it through to it’s completion. Looking the other way would certainly be complicit, but it’s not the same thing as commanding and ensuring those rapes happened.
Also, I set the bar intentionally low for zombie Washington. Child rape was the bar. There’s no amount of revision of American history that has lowered Washington to Trump levels of evil yet. And I further wrote couldn’t rape kids with the expectation that zombie dicks probably fall off.
So anyway, zombie Washington still gets my vote over Trump.
Transcription
A Tweet by Sandy Petersen @#SandyofCthulhu
Whenever the US Army has created a new higher rank, George Washington is promoted to it, and if he isn’t the first, his promotion is postdated so that he has seniority. So when we instigated the rank of 3 star officers in the Civil War for Grant & Farragut, and the rank of 4 star general in WW1 for Pershing, George got to be that rank too.
This means George Washington is always the highest ranked soldier, senior to every other officer. This means in the zombie apocalypse, he will be in charge.
[A photo of George Washington, edited so he has blood stains around the neck, a partly-healed wound on his forehead with the stains of blood dripping down from it, and unnatural eyes, so he appears as a zombie.]
