I’m with everyone else, does ANYONE really care about those?
Yeah saying something like that is irrelevant to me. Like, “So? Hope you had fun”
Why would anyone care? Huh?
Yeah but why the fuck say that
You’re going to get your dad to beat up my dad? For real? Ok, hang on, lemme find a pen ans give you my address. He’ll be mowing the lawn on Sunday afternoon, I’ll see you there! This is going to be great!
(This is a poorly paraphrased rendition of a Bill Hicks sketch, it’s stuck with me since I fist saw it as a kid tho as my parents were also assholes. My dad was built tho and would probably have killed anyone elses dad who was stupid enough to try anything, but the sketch made me laugh, so that’s something.)
I care that some one wants to insult me. My go to response for anything related to my mom is “sorry you had to find that out”.
Insults like that can be replaced with the words “I am trying to upset you” in the same way any line delivered by Brian Blessed can be replaced with the words “Did someone order a LARGE HAM?” so… no, not really.
I had a good relationship with my parents.
When someone threw a fat mom joke at me, I didn’t care, unless it was a good one and landed hard, in which case I congratulated them on a great quip and applauded it.
Switching gears a little bit, I heard one of the funniest comebacks from my friends son when he was 12.
He was horsing around with his friends and one said “you’re gayyyyy”.
Scotty, without skipping a beat retorted
“Oh so I fuck your father one time and that makes me gay?”
I don’t care, really.
It is said by people who truly only peaked in high school and think still saying that is the cool thing to do.
Like if my mom died and someone said that, I’d probably be like “oh so you’re into necrophilia? good to know, champ”
I always responded with “You fucked MY mom? What is wrong with you she is fucking disgusting.” That would take their power away and put the onus of embarrassment on them. Worked pretty well. It’s hard to joke about someone’s mom or anything for that matter if the person you are trying to make fun of takes it in stride and turns it around on you.
I always used this:
“I fucked your mom last night!”
“Ew. You need to get yourself tested…”
I like to act like they just reminded me that she asked me to talk to them about it and then start talking about some really bizarre fetish stuff that she can’t deal with anymore.
One of my favorite ones actually got gagging noises from another person in the room. ‘Look, she asked me to talk to you about the diaper thing. Hold on. Don’t get upset… she’s fine with you wearing them, and even fine with you “soiling” them, but she can’t deal with you bringing them in “pre-soiled” anymore. It’s not like it happens every time you put on a different one, but even if only 1 out 10 has an issue with cough “leakage”, that’s still at least 2 times per night that she has to stop and clean it up or else the smell just like never leaves the room… and anyway, she says that really kills the mood.’
I get the pleasure of a conversation-ending comeback. I wield it sporadically.
“She died 20 years ago so that’s pretty nasty, but I’m proud of you for admitting your kinks so publicly!”
If they stop and think about it they realize I was young when it happened and it shuts them down HARD. If they don’t, I upped the ante in such a way as to be largely un-toppable.
Friends mom is a POS, it doesn’t seem to bother him, he hates her too. But I’m sure he’d much rather have a healthy relationship with her if it was possible, that part probably hurts some what.
No, we don’t. My response to that would be something like, “damn, that’s why she sounded so disappointed. We hadn’t spoken in a few weeks, so I know it wasn’t me this time… it sounded like she got some bad dick, thanks for providing context I suppose.”
Or if it were in passing/in person, maybe something more short and to the point like “she told me, said it wasn’t the worst she had, nor the smallest, but definitely the saddest.”
Or maybe just “I’m sorry, you should go get tested.”
Wouldn’t bother me in the least.
I don’t have a “bad” relationship with my mother, but a joke like that is hardly worth considering. Might as well have some fun with it.
Or maybe just “I’m sorry, you should go get tested.”
That’s a good one. 😀
the feed page has spoken:
Well those insults are usually not very serious. If they are intended genuinely then no I don’t care if you insult my parents.
