Man it’s hard to teach non-violence in an age of violence and emotional deregulation.
“it is very unfortunate that our Jaeydighn used the calming banana as a weapon but we believe it’s important for him to express himself freely and from now on we will peel it in an effort to make the impact softer for everyone involved.”
I’m surprised teachers haven’t gone full ISIS post-covid.
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“Calming Banana” actually sounds like a great band name. Seriously!
Ok great, next time your kid hits me I’m going to hit him back.
You’re an adult. Just bring your own calming banana. Duh!
Unfortunately I don’t possess any banana related super powers.
hits the kid with the banana
“Calm the fuck down!”
So like, I’ve trained martial arts briefly, right? It’s really important not to train your “I’m in danger” instincts away, because they can protect you. However, this can unfortunately lead to you punting a 7 year old.
Banana of calming, plus 10 to calmness.
best way to learn a subject. i couldn’t do it more than a few years. imagine gradeschool math for 20 years with screaming kids. no thanks
This would all go through the administration and definitely not tolerated outside a behavioral challenges classroom at my kids school.
IMO the only real reason is 80k after 20 years . And I live in an affluent neighborhood in a decently funded state.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist. The kid may have a behavioral disorder, and seeking referrals for conduct disorder or something is usually a joint effort since parents get defensive even when such a disorder is often biological, like depression.
Or, y’know, zero tolerance bullshit and the kid gets expelled. That’s more common in the US.
I work at a school and I received training that explicitly told us zero tolerance does not work, made me do a double take. So in at least the northern states things are changing for the better.
Yup, I teach at University in California and get to cite that. It’s a little counter intuitive for people, but it’s true and much better for teachers to understand. I imagine some places ignore data, though.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist.
Bananas are a lot more affordable (for now).
Does Venezuela produce bananas?
Expelled? If they’re Black we just send them right to prison!
Sadly this isn’t a joke
Yes, depending on the age and if police are on campus. Police tend to be permanent on some campuses for “security” but schools with them statistically show a much higher rate of incarceration. Although expulsion is also a fast track to prison, too.
Unsurprisingly, police tend to be in predominantly black schools, although even in desegregated schools (for which there are very few), it’s black students most likely to get in trouble for acting out. Socioeconomic status accounts for some of this, though.
If this is the US, ain’t nobody can afford a therapist now.
They chose that.
How.
No, really. Specifically tell us all here how “they chose that”.
By voting against their own interests for decades.
By fucking the economy so hard they most people live paycheck to paycheck, no savings, and since there’s no universal healthcare people need to pay therapy from money they don’t have.
This is by design, keep the poor poor so they don’t learn enough and get enough resources to change things. Things like fair pay and healthcare cost a lot to industries that pay lobbyists.
If the current status is costing the government more than universal healthcare, who is pocketing the difference? Hospitals, insurance companies.
Yeah, “they choose that”. “They” being the industries that pay lobbyists to make sure that “that” keeps happening, and “that” being US citizens not being able to afford therapy, in between other things.
My sister in law and her husband are these people.
She had a kid in high school was non-verbal autistic that she gave up for adoption and ignored. Her first son with her husband was definitely on the spectrum and struggled hard in social situations and in school. School actually pushed for the diagnosis, but there were the “no way. Not my kid.” Kind of people. And did nothing.
Their second kid came along and hes further along the spectrum than their other kid. He’s 6 and still not potty trained and barely talking. My 4 year old passed him developmentally a year or more ago, which seems to have been the catalyst for them to seek help.
Both kids are doing better no that theyre seeing specialist and on development plans with the school. I just cant believe they waited so long… especially because her brother has a son who is also non verbal autistic, and his parents got him diagnosed before i even knew you could see those traits in children
I mean, that depends on the age. If that kid is 7 or older, yeah, you should probably look into therapy to figure out where that behavior is coming from. 5 or 6, well, kids are still developing emotional regulation at that point. I’m not saying the reaction should be, “OK, we packed a banana,” but probably something more like, “Oh no, I’m so sorry, we’re going to have a talk about how it’s never OK to hit, have you witnessed this kind of behavior before?” then offer to pay for the glasses. (Also, packing a banana isn’t a bad idea, as well as making sure he’s getting enough sleep. 9 times out of 10, when young kid gets disregulated, they’re over-tired or hungry).
It’s kind of amazing how nobody suspects the teacher or the school when they’re the most obvious culprits in ruining the lives of children.
I’m here thinking people are so quick to insist on therapy. We don’t even know if they’ve tried to discipline their child like a normal parent should.
In many ways, bad parenting is often why people go to therapy in the first place, haha. That said, I’m referring to something unrelated to parenting, as there are an assortment of disorders that have little to do with parenting.
Also, discipline is tricky; parents have to use more than punishment in their toolbox, like praise for good work, modeling kindness, etc., and avoid modeling physical punishment since that tends to be the main reason a kid hit other kids… although I doubt the banana parents hit their kids.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior. In the US, that legally is required by the schools in federal law (i.e. IDEA), but obviously enforcing said law isn’t happening, even in better administrations.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior.
It’s the school. There’s no mystery here.
In a situation like this is it better to punch the kid or the parents?
Yes.
Jumping uppercut ala Ryu in Streetfighter
The Rising Dragon Fist, AKA “Shooooooryuken!”
You sound angry. How about eating a nice banana instead?
Bananas piss me off.
Do you just never know the size of anything?
Have you tried putting them in the other end?
Punch the parent and they might learn how to help their kid learn better.
Hey! This is the internet, someone will suggest to play safe, take a swing at all three.
I know I sound old, but I miss the days when I (or even my kids) went to school. If a teacher reached out to parents you knew troubles where waiting at home. Not like being beaten senseless, but a punishment was lurking in your near future which would match your wrong doing.
Teaching is not Teaching anymore, its doing the job of the breeders these days and raising their kids teaching them decent manners and how not to be a cunt.
Being a teacher is literally like adopting a class full of feral fuckin cats and trying to turn them into decent humans from the POS ipad baby version their parents have created.
Teaching is not Teaching anymore, [its] … teaching them …
This is a miserable take. Either
- parents were historically solely responsible for everything a child received, including instruction, and thus you are in fact already contracting to do part of a parent’s job anyway Or
- raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
You have beef with the disparity between the lines for who has responsibility for the child vs who has ultimate authority over the child. And that is fair! But it’s a problem with the current structure of the system, and we don’t need to harken back to some stupid lie about the good old days to justify the current impasse.
- raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
US perspective here. The problems I see:
- In many cases, the parents don’t have time to give their child the attention that they need and the “extended community” has shrunk to maybe some extended family like grandparents or aunts/uncles. This is particularly bad for those in poverty and working multiple jobs.
- Existential dread and financial uncertainty for the parents, the child, and the teachers.
- Reduced educational funding - downward pressure on teacher compensation, teachers paying for classroom supplies the school and parents can’t provide.
- Increasingly corporate structure in school districts - a focus on efficiency, metrics, test performance, etc. instead of the much harder to measure intellectual and social growth of the students. See NCLB.
- Massive, rapid-paced social and technological change.
Going back to when one income could support a family and almost everyone had a parent that was at home that they could rely on is not a stupid lie.
The stupid lie is it is the parent’s fault when they both have to work 40+ hours a week (if you even have two parents), take care of the household, help with homework, and deal with the constant curve balls thrown at you by life (car broken down, major sickness, mental disease, dental issues, housing emergency, etc.)
I am lucky to maybe have a hour a day maximum to myself and that is half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night getting ready or going to bed. We are far past the breaking point for the US.
That never fucking existed. There was never a large portion of the population that made enough money for the woman to stay at home, and even when there was enough to apparently make memes about it, it was at most 2 decades.
For real people, women have always worked. In the 1950s, my maternal grandmother ran the general store they owned and lived above while he worked in the factory, and she helped him bale hay on the weekends when it was in season. My paternal grandmother didn’t work, and they were dirt poor. She thought it was a woman’s place to stay at home and they barely kept food on the table and a roof over their heads. They got frequent financial help from her parents.
My husband: His maternal grandmother didn’t work, and the husband had a decent job. And my MiL died bitter because her parents would take all the kids’ incomes as teenagers to support the household/themselves. His paternal grandmother worked and retired from a federal job.
It’s a lie. It was a lie then to keep women suppressed, and it’s a lie now that doesn’t serve you like you think it does. The average American has always worked, and women’s work has always been discounted. The only ones who didn’t work were the wealthy parasite class.
I agree with you that the person I responded to was wrong for dumping on the parents, but everything else is just more grievance politics, but this time from the left.
Seriously. We were middle class wealthy growing up. Mom always worked. When dad was in college, she put him through his degrees. Ran a dry cleaners. When he was a fresh college grad, she did taxes. Still does taxes but is winding down her practice. She picked up bookkeeping reliable enough she ended up being an office manager for a few successful medical and legal practices. Dad ended up retiring when he could no longer work. Physically, not mentally. Mom still works, more for her health than her finances.
Gran, she always worked. She was an RN. Tough as nails, worked prisons because she took the parable of the sheep and goats to heart and was an atheist because the Christians she grew up with didn’t.
Gramgram, she was a cost accountant. Worked her whole adult life. Grumpa was a cost accountant, and when he discovered he was not one for the ladies he taught her his trade so she could make money just as well as he could, then he fucked off to San Francisco. And Gramgram, she looked after the family. Remarried, specifically a worthless lump of flesh who could help pay the bills, but she was the main breadwinner.
My wife, well when we got married she was already outearning me even before I said fuck it let’s play jazz and she said honey you supported my dreams I’ll support yours even though bwahahaha jazz really you couldn’t even be a clown so I’m not sure what your point is
You are passionate but wrong. There was a large portion of society that did this in the past and continue to do so.
In Europe almost 50% of the time children are with one parent or the other. It is very common for one parent to not work or work very little during the first five years of child rearing.
Almost a fourth of US households have a stay at home parent. With over 11 million stay at home parents in the US alone. I have a hard time understanding where you are coming from.
You also seem to confuse the issue of parents making enough to comfortably take a lot of time away from work to raise children and the fact that housework has been traditionally unpaid.
I think as a society we should recognize the need for a parent, particularly during the first five years, to be at home. We shouldn’t be penalizing people for this. Raising children is tough enough without the economic reality that you will be significantly behind your peers if you actually raise your kids.
No wonder birth rates are down. Having kids has become cost prohibitive in a society that tries to squeeze every penny out of people. We have prioritized making money to the detriment of all over raising children. The system in the US in particular is beyond broken.
I am not talking about unpaid housework, nor did I ever mention parental leave from work/ a pause in a career. I am talking about paid work. Running a general store and baling hay is not housework. Most poor women have always worked. I read the autobiography of Grandma Moses a while back. You’d probably label her a housewife, but she worked a dairy farm like a dog for years with her husband to sell milk and butter. If she’s working to make money and provide, she’s not a housewife who is free to spend her energies only tending to the family’s needs. That is a luxury.
Further, when you mention the European stat… Which I’ll take in good faith since there’s no citation… You are confusing the first five years of life (preschool) with the original comment which seemed to be about grade school kids as well as your other comments about helping with homework, etc, that also imply grade school age kids. Maybe I could buy your argument about small children, but not school age children.
My point is not to penalize people who choose/have the financial ability to stay home. My point is that it was only really ever economy viable for the wealthier people. For the left to sit around and demand it makes them seem as coddled and out of touch as when they demanded student loan repayment. You are asking for subsidized luxury goods on the backs of people who can barely provide food and shelter for themselves. And maybe you think the whole system should be restructured for the wealthy to pay for it and/ or for us to cut back on military spending to pay for it, etc. but that’s not what people lead the argument with. They lead with this expensive, privileged demand.
Most poor women did the work they knew how to. This was often housework. It was common for women to do laundry, dishes, and general cleaning for others. This was also work unless we are going to ignore its value.
I totally understand your poor women angle, but a lot of poor mothers lived in poverty without jobs taking care of their family. Sometimes it was by choice and sometimes not. I am not going to stand in moral judgement of women who were dirt poor and stayed with their family.
I get it, your stock was hard workers. They struggled despite working hard. This is pretty common as my mother’s side was literally the Grapes of Wrath because their farm went under during the dustbowl.
I am not sure you understand the struggle of raising children as you stand in judgement to trivialize other’s experiences. My wife stayed at home for several years raising our kids and we survived on one income.
Tens of millions of people who are not wealthy choose to stay at home with their children. 20% of stay home parents are men in the US. People are doing what you deny every single day and making it work.
Society and the wealthy benefit greatly from parents raising kids. The problem with the US it is extremely exploitive taking that value and not giving back with garbage childcare, uncaring employers, inflated housing, insane medical costs, etc.
I think people are crazy to have kids in the US. So that makes me insane I guess.
I am a married working mother of two. Don’t tell me what I don’t understand. I am not trying to uphold my family as some paragon of virtue. They were the most accessible anecdotes I have on hand. My point is women always worked, and the view that they didn’t is just a rewrite of history to erase them and their contributions by conservatives, and now this fake history is being repurposed by liberals as some achievable ideal. Why do you think all the early women’s rights advocates were demanding equal pay for equal work? Because they were working!
I was going to throw out anecdotes about the folks I know now where one parent has stayed home, but it didn’t help to paint the picture of how things “used to be”. But as far as what people I know do, the picture remains that it is largely a luxury of the well-off: in households where I am fairly sure the husband makes >$250k/yr, I think they do/did fine (past tense for the mother’s that still chose to go back once the children were school-aged). They don’t live extravagantly, but there is no hardship. I know a couple where the Dad stays home, unemployed not by choice. The mom makes (I think) between $200k-$250k/yr, and their finances are tight. They are managing, but it’s not great. She actually took an assignment overseas where their money would go further and more expenses would be paid by her company, but this administration ended that opportunity and they are back. The last couple I know, the husband makes maybe $100k, and it is a hardship that she thinks her role is at home and will not work. They are constantly struggling to pay rent, to pay their bills, and to buy vehicles. They frequently seek financial help from everyone they know.
Anyway, go read some Simone de Beauvoir. Historically most people were poor and most women worked. She called the women in the upper class who didn’t work “parasite women”.
Teaching is capitalist babysitting so the kids grow up indoctrinated and so the parents can waste their lives serving capital without the distraction of kids.
Oh yeah, the parents are almost as feral as the kids these days.
Unless, and hear me out, they beat that child with multiple bananas at home for 6 straight hours. I mean they pelt him non stop with those large, hard, and un-ripe South American bananas that are like 2lbs of concrete. Then they send him to school with one of those things in his backpack to induce trauma to be a better human.
Ahh, child abuse to ensure compliance. I like it.
isn’t there vicarious liability for parents of their kids when the runts exhibit continuous violent behavior?
Absolutely not. I know multiple teachers and I’ve never once seen a parent held accountable for their child’s behavior.
“Worst” a school can do is suspend them and the parents bitch about that and threaten to sue.
Dude school kids were awful when I was one and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t think logically. I cant imagine how bad it is now after decades of brainrot and phones in schools. I would NEVER be a teacher.
I would but no one is offering enough money for me to do that job
Coming up on three generations now who are afraid of conflict.
I feel like I’m entering my old man phase, but it feels like we’re teaching kids to do everything they can to evade accountability as a rule.
I don’t think this is evading responsibility. I think this is a family who can’t afford mental health care for their child, and the school system is ill-equipped to handle it.
Well yeah, accountability only gets you in trouble. There’s no incentive for taking accountability.
There’s no “at least you were honest.” Even if someone unintentionally makes a genuine mistake, they’ll burn for it if it’s ever pinned to them. Just fade into the background and don’t attract notice to yourself, cause as soon as you accept blame for one thing, people will use you as a scapegoat for everything else that goes wrong.
Don’t practice self-awareness, it’ll only get you punished. Don’t feel remorse for your actions, it’ll only get you punished. That’s the prevailing and all-pervading messaging these days. Do you want to be the sorry sucker to try to reverse that trend?
The authorities never accept accountability, they just pass the buck to their subordinates. Everyone seems to follow that example, and the buck gets passed down until it can’t go any lower and the person at the bottom gets stuck with the hot potato.
This behavior is continuously reinforced by society. Anyone who expects it to be otherwise learns their lesson real quick. Never admit to being anything less than perfect, or else the consequences may follow you for the rest of your life.
I used to be a buyer for a manufacturing facility. We’d joke that if something went wrong in production, they would blame the scheduler, the scheduler would blame the buyer, the buyer would blame the supplier, and the supplier would blame our quality team.
As long as you’re not the last on the list, your job is secure.
(Our QA dept had incredibly high turnover.)
