Transcript:
“Hello fellow humans. I shall soon commence sensory analysis of this new human food product. I SHALL INGEST THIS FOR MY MIDDAY REFUELLING. Let us scrutinise the product. It has dimensions which impress me. It has constituent components. I am able to identify some of them. I am inexperienced in eating this kind of human food product so must first determine an effective strategem for inserting it into my face hole. I shall now appear to consume a small sample. Yes, indeed that is a human food product. Only McDonalds could produce a distinctive human food product like this.”
- ingest *
Woopise. Thanks, I’ll change it. Though ‘in jest’ does seem appropriate.
No worries, I hated to see such a great joke ruined by one misspelled word.
kinda like zuckerborg trying to act human.
Just outside, smoking some meats is totally normal behavior.
All these CEO’s look like they came from Megan’s list
It should be a rule, that a food executive is required to eat at least seven meals a week from the business they are running. Their attitude about food quality would fundamentally change.
The comments were hilarious, “like watching a gay man forced to have sex with a woman”.
He described the burger with the word gooeyness
Ew.
That’s a dude that knows their food is literal poison.
maybe this is the problem with public companies??
Don’t like parasocial corporate social media accounts but these were pretty funny.
Mini should probably start by test driving their cars.
They do. They aren’t built for you or me, given how several of them have caught fire in my city I think they are for the IRA.
Do we think this CEO fucks his employees too?
What even qualifies someone to be a CEO? Is it the MBA or whatever? I’ve been doing writing coach work for business majors and it’s just amazing how easy the work is. Imagine your term paper being “write a professional email.”
What the fuck is wrong with his face.
Does he know how to shave?
He looks like someone spray-painted his face while rolling past on a skareboard
That’s some serious McDicking around.
Maybe that’s why a lot of them think AI is the future. It can do their easy fucking bullshit of a job so they believe it can also do real work.
Ding ding
I’ve always considered McD’s to be the bottom of the barrel as far as fast food.
That was fine when it costed significantly less than the other options, same principle that Little Caesars operates on
It doesn’t anymore
Same with taco bell. Its not cheap anymore and everything has their ass-flavored fake cheese sauce on it.
When it was cheap it was just cheap garbage that destroys the planet. Now it’s expensive garbage that destroys the planet.
fast food is the bottom of the barrel
for me i consider McD average it isnt good nor bad.(mcflurry is good though, also it depends on the food)
but ofc there are better restaurantsthere are a few worse regional chains (i know one that uses a fuckin inch of miracle whip on each burger. not even a reasonable amount but like an inch thick on every burger), but national chains yeah
Which country are you from?
Here in Italy McDonald’s is top quality; probably the best American fast food.
McDonalds is easily the worst fast food out there, except for their breakfast, which is surprisingly decent. Their burgers are the worst in the biz.
If you think McDonalds represents the best, you should try Culver’s.
We don’t have Culver’s in Italy, that’s why I specified that.
And McDonald’s is different in Italy, both in their menu and the quality of the ingredients they use.
Sorry, I missed that you were from Italy. Perhaps McDonalds is better over there. In America? Not so much.
“Perhaps Mcdonalds is better over there.”
Seriously? The US having much worse quality food, especially fast food, is common knowledge. How are you not aware of this? American fast food chains, and also other american food products, wouldn’t sell at all outside the US if they had the same barely edible quality as they do in the US. Many things wouldn’t even be legal to sell in much of the world because many ingredients and levels of quality are banned in most other countries, especially in Europe. It’s so odd to see anyone that doesn’t know this.
Yes, I tried it in the US and it was way worse. I’m not saying that the Italian one is delicious, but it’s still better than all the rest.
We don’t have many American fast foods in Italy anyway. McDonald’s, Burger King, a few KFC’s, very few Starbuck’s’ (about ~30 in all of Italy, mainly aimed at tourists and wanna be social media influencers) and less than a dozen Five Guys.
We also used to have some Domino’s Pizza but they all failed less than two years after they opened.
McDonald’s is the second best in that list too, after 5guys. KFC is straight up inedible half the time.
Dominos in Italy? That should be a crime.
the best American fast food.
Let me dig a hole for the bar you’re setting there.
I know. That’s why I said that’s super good for that horrible category. KFC is dirty and oily, Burger King is shit-tier both in speed and cleanliness, even though I think their hamburgers are the best
I’ve had McDonald’s in Italy and it’s the same cardboard taste there as it is elsewhere in Europe imo.
goes to Italy, eats at McDonalds.
That’s cause they care about ya and want you to want them. They already raw dogged us.
Well, I think the Big Arch is trash so I don’t fault him
How much money is being spent daily for a marketing team? Let them do their job and stay out of it. He didn’t even know what toppings are on the damn thing.
Elon Musk should have been enough of a warning to CEOs everywhere that being in the public eye is bad for business.
CEOs should be replaced by AI. They might actually make a good decision or two this way, and save the company tens of millions of dollars.
AI can’t be held responsible when it hurts people though.
And CEOs are being held to account are they? Interesting…
At least it’s possible to hold a CEO accountable, we just aren’t. Putting a computer program in charge of any kind of management decision is a terrible idea.
I highly doubt an AI agent that’s ready to suggest nuking everyone would make anything but the most extreme decisions to make more money. Like laughably evil shit like sending contaminated baby formula to 3rd world countries or knocking down governments to sell more bananas or reducing quality ingredients to the bare minimum that still technically qualifies as food… Oh wait I see your point now.
I highly doubt an AI agent that’s ready to suggest nuking everyone
That Nazi CEO swore up and down that we could inhabit Mars if we just nuked the crap out of it. AI doesn’t have the ability to come up with these kinds of statements on its own, which means that it was fed content with people already identifying nukes as a solution to anything.
The nuking issue is less of an off-the-rails Matrix kinda situation, and more of a “I learned it by watching our CEOs!”
deleted by creator
I wondered what Nathan Fielder was up to lately.
Big Obama drinking water in Flint, Michigan vibes. The man knows exactly what poison he’s selling, and that he has to balance the risks of eating it vs. the need to do so on camera.
McDonald’s isn’t gourmet but poison is a huge stretch
Well that’s how the CEO treated it
IDK, I remember seeing a post a few years back of someone who left a McDonalds cheeseburger and fries out to see how long it would take to spoil. IIRC the damn things went on close to a decade without a single bit of decomposition. While that may not be directly poison per se, that amount of preservatives and chemicals can’t be good for the human body.
There’s a lot of food that won’t rot if left out to dry.
Not that McDonald’s is any good, just that that particular experiment was flawed because there was no control showing that other food left out in similar circumstances would have decomposed more (and even then, decent burger patties make McDonald’s’ look like jokes; “thick and juicy” is more likely to decompose than thin and whatever you’d call the moisture level in a McDonald’s burger).
Food lasts way longer than what one would expect. I got a bunch of eggs in the fridge from CostCo from about a year ago. They still taste alright, much to my surprise.
Yeah, it’s all about a) whether microbes can get to it, b) whether microbes can survive on it, and c) whether microbes can thrive on it. If the answer to any of those is no, then it won’t decompose.
If it just relies on a, then opening it starts its countdown.
If it just relies on b, then it won’t rot but the preservatives might be an issue for us, too. Though it could rot eventually if circumstances change (like it gets soaked with clean water or if the preservatives break down over time).
If it just relies on c, then it might just be waiting for some moisture for an existing colony to take off, but it’ll just sit until then.
Eggs are a and maybe a bit of b mixed in. You don’t even need to refridgerate eggs if they weren’t washed like they do for commercially available ones (at least in north america, dunno about elsewhere). Not that unwashed eggs are necessarily better, as they can have bacteria on the outside of the shell from things like chicken shit.
Once I understood the role moisture plays, I stopped using a lid on my garbage so that it would dry out and stink less. It works unless I’m thowing out a bunch of fish guts or something that stores/traps moisture well, and even then, the stink isn’t as bad.
It’s not 'chemicals", it’s grease. The frying process removes almost all the water in a McDonald’s burger.
That doesn’t explain the untarnished bun.
Bread doesn’t rot, it molds. Whether mold can grow depends on the conditions it’s kept in. The ingredients are availble to the public, the only preservative in the bun is calcium propionate which you’ll find in just about any other baked good on store shelves.
I bought a twin pack of Nutella from Costco. The unopened one developed mold after awhile, but the opened jar in the fridge was just fine. If anything, I was expecting at least the reverse.
I never mentioned rot, I don’t think so anyway. Any bread I’ve ever had doesn’t look the same after 5 days.
It’s ultraprocessed food with additives and ingredients we aren’t fully sure what effect they have on the human body.
imminent liver failure in just one month.
Oh look a different kind of propaganda people are eager to lap up with 0 follow up.
That was from being an alcoholic
ok, now do this:
Yeah, look I’ll stand on cancer and obesity; bro was fuckin cooked
