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I was at some fast food joint with a buddy and his girlfriend, and after ordering my friend’s girlfriend told me the cashier was so flirting with me.
Me and my friend: What? She was? How so?
Nah I don’t trust it, she was just being nice cuz it’s her job
Your buddies girl was the one flirting with you.
I used to own a retail shop, and I had one young woman assistant who had a sixth sense about those things. I’d wait on a customer, and after they left, my assistant would say"Wow, she really had the hots for you," and I’d always be like WTF are you talking about?
We typically have no idea unless explicitly told, no.
To a degree that once a woman chatted me up, gave me her number and I somehow still missed it entirely.
Even if we’re explicitly told the first twenty times we’ll just think she’s being nice.
Yeah, see, my girlfriend just right out told me. But we’re both AuADHD. So you know, things happen impulsively and directly.
I asked her on a date, she said yes. We get to the date we have fun, we have a long night out, she goes home and texts me “I like you.”
Yep. Which is a good thing too because I liked her and was a lot nervous about that.
God damn that’s the dream. This chick at the store smiles at me a lot and giggles when I’m nearby. I like hearing her laugh and seeing her smile and don’t want things to get awkward, so I’m not saying anything :/
Just give her your phone number.
just ask her out.
she will say yes or no. anything that isn’t ‘yes!’ is a no.
The problem with doing something like that is it can make the situation awkward permanently afterwards
it’s already permanently awkward
Be direct with “Hey, I noticed that you smile a lot at me and giggle when I am around. If you want to talk outside of the store. Can I give you my phone number?”
If she’s an employee and your a customer, don’t ask her for her phone number or out when she’s working. She will feel trapped and pressured to say yes. However. by giving her your number she gets to decide if they moves forward or not. If you are co-workers, same advice. Don’t ask her out or her number. Give her your number, let her decide to move forward or not.
Also respect any boundaries she has.
Aw yeah. There was this beauty at the store that, in hindsight, obviously gave me the eye, repeatedly. I wanted to ask her to a coffee the next time, but then she already wasn’t around anymore. Don’t be too late.
We can, we just don’t want to reveal our telepathic abilities. Shhhhh
Oh my yes. I do ask, subtley, if they can read minds. And on the off-chance they say yes, I take a hot minute to push the brain “clear browser history” button before carrying on – just in case.
You just made me think of a book I once read, written by an AI researcher and author who wanted to try his hand at a format akin to a Japanese light novel. The premise is a girl who is absolutely depraved and terminally online as an isekai. She literally gets summoned while masturbating, gets asked if she is a virgin because the plan relies on giving her holy magic by binding an angel to her and she has to be a virgin for that to work (and thankfully masturbation doesn’t count). The angel is bound to her, which gives it access to her mind, and it immediately begins screaming in horror.
Cool!
If you want to know why men with basic decency are so oblivious, head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”. I’m friends with several real life women, and most of them hold that same opinion and have damn good reasons for it (“Except you glitch, you’re one of the good ones”). More than one have expressed to me that they hate being straight because they’ve never dated a man who hasn’t taken advantage of them.
So yeah, I’m not making a move on a lady, well mostly because I’m gay, but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t unless she explicitly asked for it. (I’d also have to run it by my boyfriend, and ask if she wanted a threesome with us, but that’s another topic.)
Let’s check out womens stuff… arts and crafts, cute outfits, articles on women’s health, weekly accomplishments, friday games, memes… did not see a single comment or post calling all men rapists. Probably because it goes against the rules.
sounds like today is a good day. To be fair, I only pay them a visit when they hit the all feed so my observation may be heavily skewed.
I was looking at the last month. Mind linking where they call all men rapists?
I block those posts when I see them, so no I don’t have links
That’s because you made it up. I’ve been commenting and posting to that community for months. Most of the comment sections don’t even mention men.
So how do I move into the universe you live in? Sounds better than the reality I’m in.
You can start when you stop lying about benign shit.
You stop taking crazy pills provided by manosphere grifters.
Reminds me of an interaction my friend had with a girl that he usually just had casual sex with. She asked him if they could do some rougher stuff, things that definitely would leave a physical mark. He said OK, but ONLY if she wrote up a statement beforehand explaining that this is in fact something she wanted to have done to her.
There isn’t a single iota he could have said or done if she decided after the fact that it wasn’t for her and just reported it to the police. Most decent guys are very cautious about being wrongly accused, as the fallout entails the same thing as actually having violated someone.
I’d say most guys are as afraid of being accused of violence as most women are afraid of being exposed to it.
I’ve dated plenty of women who lecture me about ‘enthusiastic consent’ and condom use and safe sex. but if you try to practice it with them in the bedroom, they call you a pussy and tell you to grow a pair and how they just want you to make them feel like a rape victim. they are often two-faced.
it’s stupid and insane and no well-intention ed person is going to do that. only violent weirdo nutcases are going to want to do that. And plenty of them see nothing wrong with being verbally of physically violent towards men that disappoint them. violence is only bad if it’s done to them, it’s totally OK if they do it to other people, especially men.
head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”.
basically online feminism is super toxic. don’t take it serious. women in real life are not like that, at least most aren’t.
in fact i even suggest that these people are online because they can’t deal with real life.
I’m sick of this lie that the internet isn’t real.
Have you ever heard it said that character is who you are in the dark? Kind of a Jungian take, the whole “you change your persona depending on environment and company, you’re only ever your true self when you think nobody’s watching.”
Well, I think the internet is “in the dark.” It brings out the actual in people.
The G.I.F.T. Later referred to in actual research as the online disinhibition effect.
I can always tell when someone wants to get in my pants (danger signals I developed as a young girl), but I can never tell when someone genuinely likes me.
I’m just going to give you a little hint here, men can both want to get in your pants in genuinely like you at the same time. It’s not an either or thing. I’m pretty sure if a man genuinely likes you he also probably at some point wants to have sex with you. And yeah there’s going to be those guys that just want to have sex with you just have sex with you. That’s the part you probably have to differentiate.
Well, yeah. There’s a difference between wanting to hit it and quit it and having a sexual desire that comes with genuinely liking someone. The former views me as a piece of meat, and that’s easy to clock. I should have been more clear, but I thought sexual desire being a spectrum was implied.
Sleazebags are easy to spot, everyone else is just a normal person who may be interested in you as a person and that interest can grow or wane depending on successive interactions.
When women can’t communicate and frustrate themselves.
Autism is severely under-diagnosed in women. Probably just a coincidence…
I have dated women who expect me to read their minds and think if I am not Professor X I don’t care about them.
One breakup the reason was “I shouldn’t have to ask you for anything, you should already know what I want before I want it. That is what love is!”
Then I asked her if she does that for me and she made a face and said “No, you’re a man you don’t deserve that.”
That sounds like a bullet dodged honestly.
You deserve someone to love you in a way that includes showing it by doing little things to make your life easier/better/more comfortable.
I don’t meet anyone like that. So I stay single. I was just on a date last week with a woman who made it clear it was my job to serve her, and my ‘reward’ was her company and I should never ask anything of her… this is the most common attitude I get these days. Along with a lot of ‘equal respectful partnership is slavery for the woman’ nonsense.
That was my wife for the last 20 years… The divorce is almost final (almost as in we’ve both signed off, it’s been sent to the court (Friday afternoon) we’re just waiting to hear back…). Yeah, she cheated on me. Yeah, it was a surprise. Yeah, she blamed me for not paying enough attention to her.
yep, the woman i quoted above, also was cheating.
she also told me it ‘wasn’t her fault’ that she was 175K in debt and that it was my job to help her back it back…
As a dude in my 20s, actively trying to find some random 20 year old woman to date for a long term relationship is such a bad decision. I’ve stopped trying to date people (for now) because it’s just so draining as a man to have to deal with all the expectations and stereotypes placed on us.
my teenage nephews feel exactly the same way. they are completely cynical about romance due to the ridiculous and hypocritical BS that their potential dates put on them. and they have only had 1 girlfriend for a few months. It took me 30 years dozens of girlfriends and 100s of dates to get to that point!
something something equal rights
“therefore I must say 10.4, dinosaur” 💀
tell us
A lot of the time we do know, but we’re terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.
One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn’t do the mating dance right or something idk.
Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it’s the same for many of the “creeps” and “sluts” out there.
I rejected a girl in college and she went around telling everyone she could that I sexually harassed her.
She got her comeuppance and got booted out of school after she did it to other guys too, but it was terrifying for that brief window when people believed her. I’d be eating lunch and random weirdos would come up to me and go ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKING CREEP!’ Very few people supported me, and it was only my few closest friends, and my ex.
And even better, when I share that experience, at least 50% of the people who hear it, still think it is my fault or I’m lying. Because men are all rapists, and women are all hapless victims who never do anything bad or wrong…
That really is not ok, sorry bro. This happened to a friend of mine too, and I saw what that did to him. It’s so much worse than people realize. He nearly got kicked out of school over it even.
What saved him was the same thing that saved you: she was stupid enough to make a pattern out of the behaviour. That said it didn’t make it all better, because he no longer trusted the people who abandoned him. The social dynamics of that group never recovered.
I had a couple of people apologize to me after she was found out. That was cool. But most didn’t.
People love to make up fake bullshit. I had another issue with this other woman… that I never ever even met who kept going around telling other people who I slept with her and how shit in bed I was. I literally never met her, but people told me about it. Maybe she had a crush or something. it was fucking weird.
after being rejected 100 times in a row for “ew gross i don’t associate disabled people” when after a couple dates i let them see me take a blood pressure pill (hadn’t even let them see any of my massive collection of scars except my arm and face, which i can’t exactly hide without michael jacksoning) you kind of just start making fairly accurate assumptions about the women in your society
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahaha.
That’s one of those easy things for me to overshare. I take half a dozen pills daily to function. If they aren’t, or at least don’t know why I take them, it ain’t gonna work.
The actual like, really disabling thing about me isn’t any of the things I’m treated for. It’s my sleep disorder. I still have to show up to my 9-5. My kid still has arrival and pickup times at school. Banks are only open 9-5.
I’ve found that women with treated or untreated disabilities understand this shit way more than normies. That’s not to say go look for them, but don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
it took me so so long to learn that one
Been there. Not blaming women either, men are equally ableist.
Women and men are ableist because society as a whole is ableist.
Wouldn’t be better to do it on the first date?
there are better ways to vet potential dates
Damn the incels turned OUT for this post lmao
It’s mostly stories of people saying they missed hints in the past, or recounting toxic dating experiences they’ve had in the past.
I’m not sure why you think that’s worthy of mockery.
Sorry this observation hurt your feelings I guess?
Whenever a comment section becomes this much of an incel circle jerk, it’s always the same few people madly posting their grade school gender research for what I assume is Jordan Peterson’s psychology class.
Ah yes, “Deciphering Females”, the most enrolled course at Trust Me Bro University (accreditation pending).
Well said!
The only wisdom is in knowing we know nothing.
Edit: who downvotes Socrates and B&T‽
This feels like “haha men stupid” and I dont like it.
Unfortunately I’ve very definitely had this problem many times in my life. I really don’t like to assume someone’s interested in me unless it’s far beyond obvious.
but it’s in the context of husband and wife, not even dating. I can understand dating, but married? long term? what?
damn I think it’s worse now, just boomer humor wife/husband bad. aw damn.
I get the dating side of the joke.
People change and feelings change in 25 years, and with children in the house we’re more like coworkers than a couple now. There’s plenty of opportunities for conflict and so little time for each other. So yes, it’s natural to doubt in such circumstances.
I thought I knew my wife after 20 years, but she surprised me. Apparently, being direct with me was terrible for her, just the most emotionally draining experience imaginable for her, and she got tired of it- but rather than tell me that, she just stopped being direct and expected me to pick up on it, and when I inevitably didn’t, she decided the relationship was over- but again, she didn’t tell me that, just started boinking our son’s best friend’s dad, then when I started to figure it out, told me I was crazy for thinking it, that he was just a friend… When she finally did tell me she wanted to divorce (one year ago today, matter of fact), she didn’t want either of us to move out, she expected me to be ok with continuing to live together sharing a house (and bed!) while she screwed her side piece… I moved out so quickly I didn’t even have furniture, just slept on an air mattress on the floor for the first couple weeks… Then after I had signed a year lease, I found out the other guy lived right around the corner from my apartment… Rather than randomly bump into each other at the grocery store, I decided to call him (son’s best friend’s dad, remember?) Turns out, she had been lying to him too, told him we had been separated “for some time”, just living together for the sake of the kids… He seemed genuinely horrified to hear that wasn’t true, apologized for his part, and said he was going to break it off with her. I didn’t really believe him at the time, but as things have played out since, while she was trying to make me think they were still seeing each other, I could tell they weren’t - my son lamenting not seeing his friend much anymore for one. Some months later after I had dropped off the kids with her, she let it slip that “he’s always busy now”. Gee, I wonder why…
Anywho, you think you know someone…
It’s putting all responsibility on others. Like, honey, use your words. Communicate. Don’t expect people to read your mind. If you set the expectation that you want people to guess how you’re feeling, then you’ll have to deal with the fallout of some wrong guesses. It’s easier to just make yourself clear.
In the context of marriage??
Like, we can assume there were years of intimacy involved, followed by formal proceedings.
2 things:
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It has provoked a lot of great conversation, if you haven’t come back to read it.
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I’m approaching 20 years and very much still need my wife to tell me how she’s feeling. My wife appears to be in tune emotionally and often is right, but from my perspective sometimes she seem to be overreaching.
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This feels like “haha men stupid” and this is why I like it
EDIT: Are the MRAs upset, and missing all of the men in this thread saying “lol literally me”?
Haha women stupid
Y’know I’m glad I am aromantic, emotionally insular, and paranoid as fuck. Makes my dumbass not even have to factor this shit together, was she flirting with me quickly turns into I don’t care. Though I will say having sex would probably be nice, but I’m also hypersexual and autistic so it’s almost guaranteed id probably fuck it up and go too far.
Are you me?
No but I am me.
She’s just being polite.
A girl told me in 8th grade that she knew I liked her, and was cool with it. I thought she was nice for not being creeped out that I liked her, until one day on college when I finally realized what she meant.
A girl in college told me she liked me when we were in high school, took me like two days to realize what she meant…
It’s clear that when they say they liked you in high school, it means that they don’t like you any more, and you blew your one shot. Don’t be a dick and try now, that ship has sailed.
Or it means they’ve had a long term crush on you, and are very interested. Sometimes you get little context.
Good communication is important.
If that were true, they’d say it. Don’t be that creepy guy who thinks a girl likes them just because they’re nice. - What guys believe.
Well don’t leave us hanging! What did she mean?
No man knows what she means.
What did she meant?!
Well, don’t leave us bros hanging! What did she mean?
She lived in a refrigerator.
That’s cool
That she might be down to clown if the circus is in town, but our boy left her hanging around at the dog pound
!remindme 3years
do we have a remindme here?
!remindme 1 second
I told a girl who told me she likes me that she is bluffing… 🤦♂️
Yeah she played a stupid game and won the customary prize
