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Weird…
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be…
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
But surely it won’t happen until after God sees those files. They might affect who gets raptured. /s
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
“Life was filled with guns and war,” the song begins, “and everyone got trampled on the floor. I wish we’d all been ready.”
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
What about the 12000 from each of the 12 tribes?
Esoterica channel on YT is a bit over halfway through a lecture series on Merkavah, that talks about apocalypse predictions and the language used and why (which by extrapolation applies to occult topics and language used).
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
“Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn’t counting on a genius like me coming along.”
- a whole shitload of different preachers
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
The ones that could self selected out. (Or were kicked out.)
Wait people were taking the rapture seriously
My aunt is basically a crazy evangelical, and yes, she thinks we are living in the end times, and wants to usher in the end times faster so she can get to heaven. Its batshit insane.
Bud, my entire family says this every time I talk to them. Which is rare, thankfully.
Kooky shit.
I can suggest a way she can get to heaven more quickly.
It’s mental illness is what it is.
All religion is mental illness, it’s just so common it isn’t politically correct to tell that truth about it.
not even god knows what’s in the files? this does go deep!
Imagine you wake up in the morning and realize all the annoying Christian fundies have been raptured away and the world is all unicorn farts and rainbow cotton candy for a while…
You guys, we have the best opportunity. Next time they hold a Rapture, we all just go completely cold turkey silent for like, three days. Let them all think they’ve been left behind. Then we all come back to social media and the rest of the real world on the third day like, “whoa, that was so cool, what was your favourite part of it?”
After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday
be the change you want to see in the world
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
Swallow the sins of man
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can’t lift it?
He’s about to release the… Look squirrel!
Jesus works for those in power so therefore he’s protecting them, that’s the only answer to this.
That’s Supply Side Jesus, the one Evangelicals worship. He’s a dick
Yeah but he doesn’t know how to use windows 11, so he’s just going to print out an email and send it in the post.
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
I mean that really all depends on the religion that they are. The rapture is used in different context for different religions and it’s not always called the same thing. However the word rapture is typically prevalent among sects such as Southern Baptist and any of the other evangelical faith. But it’s not typically found among many of the base Lutheran religions and the exact words as well as Catholicism.
In the UK, some Christians have used the term “Rapture” to just refer to the second coming. I’ve heard people use the term and not even know Rapture Theology (where Christians just disappear) to be a thing.
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
And now guess why the billionaires behave like they do.
Christians are almost always been selective about what parts of the bible they believe (or even bother to read) and this is an easy example. The bible makes very clear that the date the world ends will be known to none but god. There won’t be a warning from angels and humans won’t be able to figure out in advance. There could be signs it’s coming that people pick up on but someone saying “it’ll be this day on this month” will always be a lie. That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
Sell car.
Donate to church.
GGEZ
Church: no re
Even Jesus, who is God, sorta, didn’t know when it would happen. He told his disciples he would return in their lifetime.
From what I understand this is a common misconception
The most common Christian apologetic is to say he was talking about the transfiguration. That fails because the language is clearly talking about his return. The early church clearly thought he was going to return in their lifetime. Also, the transfiguration a few days later. It’s weird to say “some of you will still be alive in a few days”
Would be funny if that’s what he meant
Its literally what it says in the bible.
There’s a lot of mental gymnastics Christians do to pretend this isn’t true, but that is transparent and pathetic.
Apparently it’s a case of misinterpretation and he was talking about the destruction of Herod’s temple which happened in 70 AD
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So, what got misinterpreted to turn “Herod’s temple will be destroyed” into
“Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” ?
You need the context of what he said before that. He wasn’t talking about his return he was talking about specific signs.
The problem with a lot of the Bible is that it is too easy to misinterpret. Its why biblical scholars exist.
Hell so much of it even requires historical context.
But for this specifically you jumped to the end of a long speech Jesus gave and ignored the body of it. And I don’t blame you. It’s easy to get lost in such a dull and antiquated collection of books.
It’s why Young Earth Creationists think there are references to dinosaurs in the Old Testament. Lack of paying attention to a hard to follow text
But yes he was talking about the rise of Christianity and specific things that would come with it. Not his second coming.
Well that’s just not true…
Most of that chapter has to do woth “the identity of christ”, not signs and symbols of the rise of Christianity.
He forgot to convert from God Time to mortal time. He was thinking they would live another couple dozen years or whatever, a thousand times as long as it took HimDadSelf to create the universe and speedrun evolution. Forgetting those the same kind of Days.
Didn’t he technically return for a short bit?
I wonder if the inverse would hold true
If somebody “knows” its the rapture, then it must not actually be the rapture
Pretty sure it is a time when it’s least expected
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
it’s all carnies and rubes.
This was like a slim minority of Christians
Oh I know. But there have been many similar slim minorities of Christians over the Millenia.
Yes… And?
I mean, “Yes…And?” Would have been a fair response to what you said
You do realize Christianity is pretty diverse group, right?
You can believe what you want to believe
If you hold a single text to be the very word of your god, and you use it to justify all that you do or do not do, then you must follow it to the letter or admit that you’re just a tourist. There is zero in between when you claim that the thing is pure and divine, cannot be questioned, and should be the basis for all your laws.
Christians just keep throwing out whole chunks of the fucking thing except all the parts that they can misinterpret and mistranslate to allow them to do awful things to people they don’t like for “reasons”.
My favorite part is how every pastor and many laypeople will have their own particular set of interpretations. Never mind that, at most, only one of those could be fully right, and therefore the rest are doing/believing some things wrong.
Although everything is like that. Some people have different political, scientific, philosophical theories about a load of things. It’s not that big of a deal.
Nobody thinks you’re going to hell for having a new idea about quantum gravity. Nobody has set up car bombs over whether or not plucked chickens are human. Political differences do have a very different history with violence, of course.
But when there is a large number of people who are happy to make me feel profoundly wrong for not accepting their deity, or thinking the wrong day is the day God wants us to rest, or who think plenary indulgences are or aren’t a good idea, or if Jesus abolished or fulfilled the old law, or if God thinks we should kill all trans people… we have hit a different territory.
These are not the same thing, and sometimes it is a VERY big deal. Literally life and death.
Nobody is going to hell for believing in Calvinism/Arminianism. Nobody is going to hell for believing in Memorialism or Real Presence. You go to hell for your sin.
But when there is a large number of people who are happy to make me feel profoundly wrong for not accepting their deity, or thinking the wrong day is the day God wants us to rest, or who think plenary indulgences are or aren’t a good idea, or if Jesus abolished or fulfilled the old law, or if God thinks we should kill all trans people… we have hit a different territory.
These aren’t necessarily salvation issues, although some beliefs may be signs of someone being unsaved (for example thinking they can buy their way into heaven or wanting to kill trans people- both show examples of someone who hasn’t been regenerated by the Holy Spirit)
Well, Ortodox Cristians for example, do as a matter of fact, believe you go to hell for believing in heretic shit.
If you hold a single text to be the very word of your god
Which not all Christians do. There are many who believe to be the words of human beings, just divinely inspired or significant.
Sure, but why do they get to pick and choose what is more important than the rest? How do intentionally bad mistraslations for kings and personal gain provide the basis for a religion? Even the best Christians I know, who don’t force their own beliefs on others, still consider themselves to be pro-life because of the bible, or if they treat gay people with all the respect a human being deserves otherwise they still believe beung gay to be a sin. Why choose that stuff to follow but ignore the mixed cloth and tattoo parts?
You(maybe you, maybe the general “you”) don’t get to pick what part of your holy text is important or not. That’s not a religion, just a theology enthusiast with potentially questionable ideas all of their own.
Why choose that stuff to follow but ignore the mixed cloth and tattoo parts?
The mixed cloth and tattoo parts are from the Old Testament, which many Christians believe was superseded by the sacrifice of Christ. A new covenant - Abraham didn’t sacrifice Isaac, but God sacrificed his son. No longer a need to sacrifice in the temple, no longer a need to follow dietary laws.
There’s nothing in the text of the Bible that justifies a “pro life” position. The only part that mentions abortion is an Old Testament verse about forcing a woman who is suspected of cheating to drink something that will cause an abortion.
The language used by Paul in the New Testament about gay men is ambiguous and could easily be interpreted to only prohibit pedophilic sex.
Several of “Paul’s” letters in the New Testament are known forgeries. It’s very easy to “pick and choose” to reject those. One could even reject Paul entirely.
It’s a text written in multiple different ancient languages. It’s not cut and dry always that “the Bible says this.” (Same with other ancient texts - most translations of the I Ching are absolutely bonkers in how they look nothing alike.)
Even if someone would want to call themselves a “literalist,” there’s clearly poetry and figurative language. I don’t think anyone has baby dear for mammaries.
You cannot flatten Christianity like this. The fundamentalist interpretation/“Biblical literalist” interpretation is really a product of the 19th century (as is fundamentalist Islam - these are both tied to more widespread literacy in the world). It’s not one coherent ideology you can throw r/atheism logical “gotchas!” at.
A lot of shit that is part of mainstream Christianity isn’t even biblical. The Satan and hell most imagine is more from Milton and Dante than it is from the text of the Bible.
Religions aren’t their texts - even the ones that purport to be. They’re centuries of folk traditions and interpretations stacked on those ambiguous texts.
You’ve proven my point exactly. The only text that christians follow, the one that is front and centre of their entire ideology no matter how they choose to interpret it, is comepletely full of holes. Without the bible there is no religion. What do you honestly think Christianity looks like, and where could you even find enough information on it, if you removed the bible and all references to it?
There is nothing without the bible, and the bible itself is nothing of you refuse to obey it to the letter. If there are clear lies they must be removed or else that is an edorsement of said lies contained within, and a willful corruption of the holy text.
And the extra funny thing is that the muslims believe in the same god and they follow the rules in the book. It’s the same guy but apparently all the people who don’t even live in the birthplace of the religion get a free pass to just go off and do whatever? Sure, ok.
Diverse, sure. But some statements hold true across most of that diversity. Almost every Christian individual and denomination is selective about what parts of the bible they listen to. Since some parts of the bible are contradictory, this is sometimes a necessity. But other times it’s just people being people.
I’m gonna write a book that contradicts itself, not give clarification on those parts, leave it up to the readers to figure it out, and base the afterlife on how right they were. Because at least some Christians think they are doing it exactly right, and they will not be having the afterlife they think they will.
You left out “pick the correct translation of that book”. There are people who are ‘KJV Only’ who believe that the King James Version of the bible is the only correct divinely inspired version.
Look, the list of corrections and amendments we could make to what I said could fill out a book of their own. The Bible of Why The Bible Is Fallible, or whatever.
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
They must not think Trump is releasing the Epstein files any time soon.
Well…on that front, they wouldn’t be wrong.
I have yet to meet a Christian who doesn’t regularly practice at least one of the 7 deadly sins.
In the modern age, just Greedy, Envy and Wrath are already common amongst the vast majority of Christians - I mean, if you want to punish immigrants becuase you think that “they’re taking our jobs” that’s already Greed and Wrath and possibly also Envy.
Then even the most pious religious people are generally Prideful, at the very least on how close to the Lord they thing they are and how superior their own moral and ways are.
Sloth and Gluthony also tend to be very common - you certainly don’t get overweight “epidemics” in a country without tons of people doing very little when they could do more (say, riding their car everywhere) and eating far beyond what they need.
If there’s ever a Rapture, nobody will notice because only a handful of people - most of whom eremits living separate from the rest of the World - dissapears.
Theyre not going to be in the rolls anyway
Jesus loves the little children… all the children of the world…
JE is very much alive, whilst some of the victims are not.
August 9, 2019 Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) is reported dead, released in July 2025, the Federal Bureau of Prisons release an 11 hour surveillance video of Jeffrey Epstein’s upper atrium corridor, except it contains this sudden cut and minute removed from it. The footage has been transformed on the X axis and scaled about 3.5% on X axis so, again, there’s no way to check frame by frame for repeat use frames.
The United States Department of Justice (DOJ) release the 11 hour prison surveillance in two modified versions :
https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video1.mp4 https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video2.mp4
The video at 11:21:34pm shows a mouse cursor moving over the released footage, which signifies this is not RAW video 'source footage’, the purest form of footage captured by the camera sensor. The FBI released a doctored version, through a video editing program. The timestamp at the beginning is 7:40:00pm and the last timestamp is 6:40:00am, but the video is 10:52:23 in length, meaning there’s almost 7.5 minutes missing, not just this one minute, which is seen in the cut. The initial report tells us that Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) was allowed to make an unscheduled, unrecorded phone call (unmonitored) to Epstein’s mother (who was dead in 2004). Using a non inmate telephone system line to a local 646 area code, at 6:58pm, contrary to BOP policy but with the permission of a Unit Manager, which lasted until 7:19pm then Epstein was taken back to his cell, without a cellmate. Whose DNA is on the ligature, as the bodies are not identical? A double was placed in his cell. Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell’s video and hall video? The photograph of the body being wheeled out, which is clearly not Jeffrey Epstein medics attempted intubation, on a already establish dead corpse, purposely to conceal paparazzi photographs of the head. Intubation is a process where a healthcare provider inserts a tube through a person’s mouth or nose, then down into their trachea (airway/windpipe) Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell’s video and hall video? Did the FBI interview any of the inmates? Did they interview any of the guards who were allegedly asleep? Were both guards drugged to simultaneously sleep? Rigor mortis is a postmortem change of taphonomic alterations, resulting in the stiffening of the body muscles due to chemical changes in their myofibrils. Rigor mortis helps in estimating the time since death as well to ascertain if the body had been moved after death What the authorities claim as “lack of evidence” is infact “the evidence” of : August 10th 2019 the event was not dealt with as a crime scene, required under legal process The “malfunction” of two cameras in front of the prison cell containing Epstein, which shows Epsteins death was feigned Epstein was supposed to be inspected every 30 minutes, this was not followed The two guards assigned to check Epstein’s cell overnight, Noel and Michael Thomas, both simultaneously fell asleep at their desk At least some of the security cameras in the wing were not operating
https://www.printernational.co.uk/timmann2/history.htm#epstein
The funny thing is the rapture actually happened. They didn’t get plucked. Maybe they should figure out why and be better people.
To add to this, the only person who did was that stoner that Michael in “The Good Place” has framed on his wall, because he knew too much/was the only human who (for a brief moment) knew roughly how the universe worked.
Release the Trump/Epstein files
Needs a bigger font. I want it seen from space. Like the great wall of china.
*disclaimer: not actually seen from space. terms and conditions applies. all rights reserved.
