I’ve been seeing poop in a path which is connected to the gates of my house. This has happened 3 times now over 1 or 2 weeks. When I saw the poop first, I thought it must be a dog. But everytime it dries (every 3 or 4 days), a mysterious pile of new shit is dropped on the old shit. It’s (very) black, very smelly and in the EXACT same spot!! Right on top of the dried shit!! I’m convinced it’s a human being. I’ve decided I’m gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then? What if they don’t care and continue doing it? How do I make them regret it without getting into trouble? It’d be nice if they couldn’t tell it’s me.
Can you install a trail cam ?
Or just poop in that spot to show dominance!
Is size the only factor in asserting dominance, or does smelliness play into it as well? Do you have any diet recommendations?
Follow them home and shit in front of their house
Lmfao
Raccoons like to poop on top of their old dried poop. raccoon poop looks a lot like human poop. especially when more than one animal is using that latrine.
in the forest they often do it where two trails meet.
think about that before jumping out of a bush.
and if it was a raccoon don’t handle that poop please. call animal control.
[edit to add] if you want some nightmares; google ‘pinworm human infection’ and then stay far away from raccoon droppings.
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I’m from a place in an asian country where there is generally no wild animals. Wild animals are a spectacle here. There is dogs tho
Follow them home, yeah, but then just get a shovel. Then every time they shit on your sidewalk, scoop it up and put it on their own porch.
Sounds like a territorial claim. You should probably do a bigger poop next to theirs in order to assert dominance.
Lawyer here, this is true and it’s very important you get on to this promptly, the law in this area works similarly to trademark claims, it’s a use it or lose it kind of scenario. You might legally own the title to the land but if someone else is laying a claim publicly like this for all to see in such a clear and intentioned manner and you do not respond and defend your claim vigorously and in similar fashion, you may be found to have relinquished that title. Make sure to get lots of fibre.
Push them backwards into the shit. What you do to them when they are laying on the ground is up to you.
Super soaker full of pepper spray/oil. Spray them in the any sensitive exposed area.
Could be a fox? 🦊
Buy a camera. Catch them in the act. Call police. Have them arrested. Sadly this is the only way to deal with people (assuming it’s a human doing it).
Either this, or use the camera and set up a sprinkler.
lol.your suggestion is to install a bidet.
Wow… you’re right!
Edit - had not thought of it that way. Hahaha
That would definitely catch the fox and warn it off. Might even deter the human too if they have wet runny shit running down their legs. Great idea!
there is no wild animals here, except dogs.
I don’t know. Shitting on a footpath is pretty wild.
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Some sort remote controlled spring trap to fling the poop up onto their butt.
I’ve decided I’m gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then?
Back in the good old wild West lawless days I’d say it’d be a great opportunity for vigilante target practice, culling the miscreants from our population. But that’s probably illegal nowadays.
I’m from a third world country, so ig I won’t get into much trouble for messing with a street shitter
And a street shitter won’t get into much trouble for knocking your teeth in.
Fair. I decided to hide in a bush, throw water balloons at him and run for my life
You think someone is shitting outside in a public space and your plan is to surprise them in the act?
Form the annals of what could possibly go wrong.
I don’t know where you live, but I am going to assume it is suburban or rural, is it possible to light the area?
No it’s not possible. What could go wrong tho
You’ll get your ass beat by someone with experience and nothing to lose.
Use a wyze camera. It’s cybermonday.
You could meet the type of person to chronically shit on a public path
Or some fussy neighbor who doesn’t like OP’s lawn ornaments.
They may not want to be found out and get violent…I’ve seen some stabby-stabby videos and that shit can go bad fast!
Do you live in an area with lots of homeless? That seems most likely who would do that. Or some mentally deranged person. Either way, be careful with those types of people.
You could try the photography/videography aspect to bring them to justice or the classic scare and/or beat them with a baseball bat
What’s preventing a person bent on harassing you from coming back another day when you’re not home with a bigger bat? Why the need to incite violence here? There’s so many better ways to sort this, including a frank discussion, practical joke back at the offender and anything in between.
Those are valid ways to approach the situation too. I’m only suggesting more options that I hadn’t seen mentioned already
Jump out of the bushes while furiously masturbating. Scream at them to “KEEP GOING I AM ALMOST THERE PINCH OFF THAT HAWT STEAMING LOAF DADDY”. Pretty sure one of two things will happen: Either they freak out, pull up, and high tail it out of there never to be seen again, or they lock eyes with you and maintain that connection through a slight squint and some grunts. Make sure you record it and post this to the internet.
I second this, you gotta out weird them, I suggest covering yourself with peanut butter while doing what they said.
I don’t think it’s possible to outweird someone who shits in public
Well, we know who’s house we can shit out front of now!
Do you want squirrels? Cause that’s how you get squirrels.
yes, yes I do! I need them for my Squirrel Navy.
Keep going, I’m almost there
one of two things will happen
So both outcomes are a win in this solution.
Motion activated sprinkler. Works if it’s human or animal, something like The first result on Amazon, just an example not an endorsement off the particular product
Exactly what I though
Can’t they just rip it out of the ground?
that’s just a free bidet
set up a few video cameras to catch them. Then once you know who it is, send stills and videos to their family. post on social media.
take a bigger shit on their shit. assert your dominance.
They’d probably love that lol
