mommy
Just the left one. I’m taking this virginity to my grave and my impressively godlike asexuality cannot be stopped.
But romance is so good.
Aw yeah now that you put it that way, I actually prefer cuddling, could live without the slimy sweaty painful pounding. We need a third option up there for just romance & spooning with clothes on please.
It’s painful?
Am woman. Men who learn sex through porn think it’s ok to fuck us like we’re a slab of meat, and their penis is a merciless steel meat tenderizer, trying to fuck us until they until they kill us but thankfully they cum before they completely murder me. Actually I’ve gotten to the point I don’t even want the company of a man anymore because all they do is take pleasure and give pain.
Hey, that’s not fair! I don’t take pleasure.
The pain aspect is something you should address. First with your partner if their technique can be changed, and second with a few doctors. This one is like a layer cake - maybe you’re ace, maybe there is emotional context (that could be entirely unrelated to your current situation) that causes physical discomfort, or possibly there’s a physical component that your doctor might be able to help you with. Or some combination of all of them, because people are complex.
But romantic asexuality is definitely a thing, as is a number of variants within it.
Yeah, based and wholesome stuff pilled
You: but, what if we were just like REALLY good friends? Put that away please.
So real
Every new relationship adds new rules, new things to watch out for, and a subsequent limiting of the possible dating pool.
By now I know I am looking for something that statistically does not exist.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the problem is more about people other than your partner thinking like that.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Edit: sex worker is an interesting one, conceptually. Plenty of people talk about how “wrong” and “coercive” it can be (and they can be right!), but for some reason like to skip over the whole incentive coming from the exact same place as any other work done to make a living. They don’t do sexual things for money because people want them to, they do it because they need to pay bills.
On your edit… yes, and the problem there is that should be considered coercive for all work. We shouldn’t work for money. We should work because the work has value to the population. A lot of work is the opposite, and yet people do it because they have to pay the bills. Working in scam call centers is an extreme example. There are people who go to sex clubs and such where they have sex with semi strangers and what not. There would probably be a lot more if it wasn’t considered taboo. So the “industry” as it is would not go away, it would change if paying the bills wasn’t the driver.
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex. Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
Hm, they could. I don’t think that objectification is truly always a bad thing. It obviously sucks when people use you, but being ‘the friend with …’ can also be an excuse to see people more often. Kind of like how the social function of a lot of holidays is just to bring distant people together again.
Sexual objectification is of particular importance because it has ties to the cultural perception of women, rape culture, etc., but it’s also fine to just think your wife who you admire for her strong perserverance and creativity also has titties that are fire.
“A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed”
- Ludacris
One of the truest trues that ever trued.
Same, homie. Same.
It’s almost warm enough for dresses again 😎
Same y’all. Same.
I must be old. Sometimes I need sleep.
At my age, a good night’s sleep is better than even good sex, and more rare. Sleeping through the night and waking up after dawn is a strange and welcome treat.
It’s certainly the worst part about getting old! I can’t remember the last time I slept a solid seven hours without at least two trips to the bathroom and a good amount of tossing and turning. Then there’s the existential dread.
You guys think this is just for people getting old? I don’t think I have had normal sleep patterns since I have been about 10 years old. You guys are lucky to have had the opportunity to experience consistent sleep at normal times earlier in your life. Talk about privilege.
Right I’m lucky to get 3 hours at a time.
Lol my wife would very much vibe to this but as i guy i have to say its very hard to switch between these all the time. Mostly if am in comfy wholesome Mode… dirty talk always feels super awkaward…
“Hey baby, I made your favorite because you’re worth it, you naughty whore…” “Wait, damn!”
Honestly thats not far off the truth…
Was just talking about something very similar in another community LOL
Do people really want the whole “be used as a sex toy any time” thing? I do not understand that at all, tbh. I’m not judging y’all or whatever, it’s just a very confusing concept to me. But sex is also a very complicated thing for me because of some shit I went through in my last relationship.
Yeah, some people are into that. Terms called free-use. Sometimes its just an overly desire to be available to your significant other but there are many different ways one arrives at such affirmations
Yes, not at all uncommon in the BDSM community. Neither are 24/7 kink relationships. However, reality is different from fantasy and there is a fair amount of nuance in how this works in the context of a LTR and not a fun weekend.
Can be wrong, but I suppose that here people mean that they are willing to have intercourse without preparations at any time they can if, of course, nothing prevents it(illness, urgent work, emergency, etc.). No need to have each tome a romantic date or a special occasion.
yeah I’ve known subs with a “I want to wake up in the middle of sex” or “I want to be drugged” fetish.
The more this thread teaches me, the more I realize that me wanting a cute girl to pull my hair isn’t so crazy.
I once watched someone get chicken feet sewn into their skin at a fetish club. I think hair pulling is fine 🙂
How do you even discover that that’s your fetish. I have so many questions
Same dude. Same.
Of course it’s @violet08@lemmy.today
