- cross-posted to:
- usa@midwest.social
- cross-posted to:
- usa@midwest.social
“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”
That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.
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There was a similar case in Russia in 2019 when a guy threw an empty paper cup in a direction of a police line at a protest, and got arrested and was tried for it. Ultimately he was set free, 2019 was very nice time for Russia, comparatively. Will see how American justice system compares.
McPTSD
PTSBLT
/c/yestheonion
Or at least AN onion
I relish this joke.
Aww diddums
Pussy
No, onions and mustard.
yes, just like the man said.
Video clearly shows that the sandwich was fully wrapped. Why do they need to lie?
Because conservatives are fucking snowflakes.
Seriously, it was a fucking sandwich. Pick it up and eat it or something you miserable excuse for a person. God damn.
Yeah maybe he was trying to share his dinner. Or play foot
balllong
It was a run-by sandwiching by a fleet-footed foot-long fling-er.
To be fair, the sandwich was loaded.
Lettuce, tomato, pickle, cheese, cucumber, onion, spinach, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers…
Fuck I want that sandwich inside me!
There is currently no limit on the amount of times the submarine sandwich can be deployed…as a breadly weapon.
Poor little pissy pants, must be so hard to be a traitor when you smell like onions and mustard.
No way, was it a BORF sandwich?
Bacon, onions, radish, and french mustard
I cannot believe we’re wasting taxpayer dollars on a ballistic hoagie attack.
“ballistic submarine missile” was right there
torpedos away
ICE agents prefer Grinder
Haha being gay is bad amirite
It’s not being gay, it’s being a bunch of hypocrites about being gay that deserves the ridicule
No, every representation of human sexuality can be beautiful (with consent that is). Just wordplay with one of the multiple terms for sub, hero, blimp, torpedo and yes, grinder.
Hi, wanted to ask how you want me to handle this report? https://i.ibb.co/rGRqTJTt/1.png
You reported me, on my own instance, to myself… guess I’m not sure what you want me to do here? Do you think “hostility” is a violation of my instance’s sidebar rules? If not, can you tell me which of my own rules I’ve broken? I’m eager to hear your response. :)
D’oh!
Assault with a deli weapon
…take my upvote…
intercontinental ballistic mayonaisse
This is so good it should be illegal.
Give the DOJ(ackoffs) a week or two and it will be.
Top-tier pun!
If it makes you feel any better, because of the shutdown, we aren’t spending money on this. \s
I hope a news outlet has the boldness to run this story after one showing DHS brutality, including the taxpayer costs, and before one about SNAP, healthcare and the shutdown. This administration is well past the point of pissing on Americans while telling them it’s raining.
ballistic hoagie attack
Band name
It’s just a shame it wasn’t a lead sandwich traveling at 1500 fps
I’m sure we all know the phrase that a prosecutor could get a grand jury to “indict a ham sandwich”. It took prosecutors THREE Grand Juries to finally get an indictment for someone throwing that sandwich.
It’s all a complete waste of time and taxpayer funds, and in any other point in history these prosecutors would have been fired immediately for incompetence at even considering an indictment in the first place, not even considering the possibility that they would try for three attempts.
They never got the indictment. The prosecutor had to downgrade the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor, which doesn’t have to go before a grand jury.
I didn’t even realize that, last I had heard was them putting it before the third jury, and then that there was going to be a trial.
deleted by creator
if a grand jury won’t indict, doesn’t double jeopardy apply? not a lawyer, just haven’t dealt with this part of the process before
A grand jury is a sort of sanity check on a charge, and does not count towards the trial. It is basically “with these facts (provided only by the prosecution), is there enough probable cause to move a case to trial?”. Double jeopardy in the 5th amendment has specific protections from going to trial multiple times or from getting multiple punishments for a crime.
Actually, it’s even stupider than that I’m pretty sure, two grand juries refused to give them an indictment for a felony charge, so they brought a way less severe misdemeanor charge because you don’t have to get a grand jury to sign off on those, and that’s what we’re wasting this time on
As it so happens, they can indict ham sandwiches, but not turkey subs. And I think this is arguably funnier.
Dear Lord don’t you know this will lead to ICBMs! Intercontinental ballistic meatballs are nothing to be trifled with. Next they’ll add mozzarella to them
Won’t you think of the laundry bill damnit!!
Obviously the border patrol bootlicker isn’t accounting for his own scent which smells like pigshit.
A lot of us dream of using a submarine to attack our enemies. This isn’t exactly what I meant.
The torpedo of truth
Freedom Footlong
I hope the jury are all served sub sandwiches for lunch each day of this trail.
With extra onions and mustard
A salt and buttery with a weapon for mass consumption.
Their were buying yellow cake!
They don’t serve food to juries. If you’re lucky, they give you enough to offset the parking costs.
The jurors in the FTX case got pizza ordered for them when they were doing final debate.
Well that’s not the norm
I think they said they’d probably be able to wrap it up that night if they got dinner and the judge was like “hell yeah order up”.
Yeah, off topic, but it really seems like the court system has adapted over time to disincentivize the lower class from serving on juries.
But you can’t opt out, you legally must serve.
True, but there are ways to get out pretty easily.
Just say you hate cops, which is probably true anyway.
My personal favorite is “the defendant didn’t show up”. It’s worked for me twice now.
I was called up for jury service a few years ago. I was actually really excited to get someone off, but I wasn’t even put into a pool.
